Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Work and Employment > Job Search
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 11-21-2013, 02:04 PM
 
143 posts, read 245,359 times
Reputation: 152

Advertisements

So I held a live-in nanny position from May 2008-January 2009, at which time I was laid off due to my employer (lets call her Sally) losing her job. She said she'd give me a wonderful (her word) job reference and told the nanny agency I went through (which is now out of business) the same thing. Fast forward to now, I am looking for another nanny position (after having worked several non-childcare-related jobs in the interim) and she was called today by a different nanny agency through whom I am hoping to obtain a job. Sally told the new agency that she didn't remember my name, that the dates didn't "sound right" and that she didn't feel comfortable giving me a reference.

I don't know if this is purposeful, if she truly doesn't remember (she actually started majorly slipping mentally when the economy crashed end of 2008) or what. I tried calling her both at home and work and didn't get an answer. I really need her as a reference since I don't have many non-familial child care references.

What do I do?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-21-2013, 02:23 PM
 
3,072 posts, read 5,207,861 times
Reputation: 6578
I'm afraid I have gone through a similar instance (also 2008/2009) and I've had to do some volunteer work as a result, due to the non-negotiable requirement (teaching degree). Have you called her yourself to clarify?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-21-2013, 02:29 PM
 
Location: Simmering in DFW
6,952 posts, read 22,597,783 times
Reputation: 7295
Keep trying to phone and email her....
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-21-2013, 02:38 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,940 posts, read 36,703,214 times
Reputation: 40634
Did you put her down as a reference without reaching out to her first? I mean, I always call/email references to ask them if it is ok to give their contact info out (and confirming it), tell them about the job I'm interviewing for, etc. I thought that was standard when dealing with references.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-21-2013, 02:45 PM
 
12,061 posts, read 23,089,443 times
Reputation: 27160
If her mind is slipping, she may not remember you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-21-2013, 02:49 PM
 
143 posts, read 245,359 times
Reputation: 152
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Did you put her down as a reference without reaching out to her first? I mean, I always call/email references to ask them if it is ok to give their contact info out (and confirming it), tell them about the job I'm interviewing for, etc. I thought that was standard when dealing with references.
I have used her as a reference throughout the years since when applying for jobs. Also, as I stated, she told me to use her as a reference and that she would give me a "wonderful" (her word) one.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-21-2013, 02:54 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,940 posts, read 36,703,214 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by thisorthat View Post
I have used her as a reference throughout the years since when applying for jobs. Also, as I stated, she told me to use her as a reference and that she would give me a "wonderful" (her word) one.

I understand that. I just always reach out each time I provide references (which I'll only do post interview and if I'm interested, no matter what the application process is (online forms, etc) and re-confirm and discuss the position and tell them who will be contacting them for the reference. I thought that was standard practice even when a person says "Of course, I'm glad to be a reference!".

Best of luck.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-21-2013, 03:00 PM
 
2,612 posts, read 5,562,037 times
Reputation: 3965
Many things are possible, including that she really did forget (has lost her mind), the employer mangled your name so badly that she didn't recognize it or gave the wrong dates, or they called a wrong number or got the wrong person on the phone. You won't know until you talk to her. I once lost a job opportunity because the stupid employer talked to someone with the same first name as the reference I gave, but the person they spoke to was a mentally disabled cleaning woman, who told them I'd been fired and some other bizarre things.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-21-2013, 03:25 PM
 
1,237 posts, read 3,437,197 times
Reputation: 1094
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Did you put her down as a reference without reaching out to her first? I mean, I always call/email references to ask them if it is ok to give their contact info out (and confirming it), tell them about the job I'm interviewing for, etc. I thought that was standard when dealing with references.

^^This. I ALWAYS ask my references first if I can list them, even if I've used them before. It's best if they have a heads up that they may be getting a call. Additionally, just because you've listed her previously doesn't mean she was ever actually called by any of those employers.

It was a short term position over 5 years ago. I don't use any references from 5 years ago unless I have to (specific position) as I'm not convinced they would even remember me let alone remember my quality of work.

I'd let this one go and don't use her as a reference anymore. She may have told you she's willing to be a reference but unless she stated that recently it is very possible she has forgotten you. I'd be more concerned about showing some proof of employment (paychecks perhaps) to this new agency to prove you DID work for her even if she doesn't remember.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-21-2013, 03:30 PM
 
143 posts, read 245,359 times
Reputation: 152
Quote:
Originally Posted by swmrbird View Post
^^This. I ALWAYS ask my references first if I can list them, even if I've used them before. It's best if they have a heads up that they may be getting a call. Additionally, just because you've listed her previously doesn't mean she was ever actually called by any of those employers.

It was a short term position over 5 years ago. I don't use any references from 5 years ago unless I have to (specific position) as I'm not convinced they would even remember me let alone remember my quality of work.

I'd let this one go and don't use her as a reference anymore. She may have told you she's willing to be a reference but unless she stated that recently it is very possible she has forgotten you. I'd be more concerned about showing some proof of employment (paychecks perhaps) to this new agency to prove you DID work for her even if she doesn't remember.
Would I be able to get copies of paychecks from my bank from 5 years ago? That may be what I have to do. I know she has actually been called before (in 2010 or 2011) because I've had potential employers tell me they called her and she gave me a great reference. I have to use her as a reference because I need at least 3 non-familial child-care references, and a live-in position is a great one.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Work and Employment > Job Search
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top