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So I held a live-in nanny position from May 2008-January 2009, at which time I was laid off due to my employer (lets call her Sally) losing her job. She said she'd give me a wonderful (her word) job reference and told the nanny agency I went through (which is now out of business) the same thing. Fast forward to now, I am looking for another nanny position (after having worked several non-childcare-related jobs in the interim) and she was called today by a different nanny agency through whom I am hoping to obtain a job. Sally told the new agency that she didn't remember my name, that the dates didn't "sound right" and that she didn't feel comfortable giving me a reference.
I don't know if this is purposeful, if she truly doesn't remember (she actually started majorly slipping mentally when the economy crashed end of 2008) or what. I tried calling her both at home and work and didn't get an answer. I really need her as a reference since I don't have many non-familial child care references.
I'm afraid I have gone through a similar instance (also 2008/2009) and I've had to do some volunteer work as a result, due to the non-negotiable requirement (teaching degree). Have you called her yourself to clarify?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Did you put her down as a reference without reaching out to her first? I mean, I always call/email references to ask them if it is ok to give their contact info out (and confirming it), tell them about the job I'm interviewing for, etc. I thought that was standard when dealing with references.
Did you put her down as a reference without reaching out to her first? I mean, I always call/email references to ask them if it is ok to give their contact info out (and confirming it), tell them about the job I'm interviewing for, etc. I thought that was standard when dealing with references.
I have used her as a reference throughout the years since when applying for jobs. Also, as I stated, she told me to use her as a reference and that she would give me a "wonderful" (her word) one.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,940 posts, read 36,703,214 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by thisorthat
I have used her as a reference throughout the years since when applying for jobs. Also, as I stated, she told me to use her as a reference and that she would give me a "wonderful" (her word) one.
I understand that. I just always reach out each time I provide references (which I'll only do post interview and if I'm interested, no matter what the application process is (online forms, etc) and re-confirm and discuss the position and tell them who will be contacting them for the reference. I thought that was standard practice even when a person says "Of course, I'm glad to be a reference!".
Many things are possible, including that she really did forget (has lost her mind), the employer mangled your name so badly that she didn't recognize it or gave the wrong dates, or they called a wrong number or got the wrong person on the phone. You won't know until you talk to her. I once lost a job opportunity because the stupid employer talked to someone with the same first name as the reference I gave, but the person they spoke to was a mentally disabled cleaning woman, who told them I'd been fired and some other bizarre things.
Did you put her down as a reference without reaching out to her first? I mean, I always call/email references to ask them if it is ok to give their contact info out (and confirming it), tell them about the job I'm interviewing for, etc. I thought that was standard when dealing with references.
^^This. I ALWAYS ask my references first if I can list them, even if I've used them before. It's best if they have a heads up that they may be getting a call. Additionally, just because you've listed her previously doesn't mean she was ever actually called by any of those employers.
It was a short term position over 5 years ago. I don't use any references from 5 years ago unless I have to (specific position) as I'm not convinced they would even remember me let alone remember my quality of work.
I'd let this one go and don't use her as a reference anymore. She may have told you she's willing to be a reference but unless she stated that recently it is very possible she has forgotten you. I'd be more concerned about showing some proof of employment (paychecks perhaps) to this new agency to prove you DID work for her even if she doesn't remember.
^^This. I ALWAYS ask my references first if I can list them, even if I've used them before. It's best if they have a heads up that they may be getting a call. Additionally, just because you've listed her previously doesn't mean she was ever actually called by any of those employers.
It was a short term position over 5 years ago. I don't use any references from 5 years ago unless I have to (specific position) as I'm not convinced they would even remember me let alone remember my quality of work.
I'd let this one go and don't use her as a reference anymore. She may have told you she's willing to be a reference but unless she stated that recently it is very possible she has forgotten you. I'd be more concerned about showing some proof of employment (paychecks perhaps) to this new agency to prove you DID work for her even if she doesn't remember.
Would I be able to get copies of paychecks from my bank from 5 years ago? That may be what I have to do. I know she has actually been called before (in 2010 or 2011) because I've had potential employers tell me they called her and she gave me a great reference. I have to use her as a reference because I need at least 3 non-familial child-care references, and a live-in position is a great one.
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