Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
No longer bar mitsvah or bat mitsvah for me. From now on it's b'nai mitsvah. 19th amendment 1920. My poor mom was chained female back then. So was I until 1993 when I did the first aleeyah at my grand daughter's b'nai mitsvah in of all places, a N.J. Reform congregation. Go figure. That predates 1997 when all URJ endorsed Israel and Hebrew officially. I was in Dallas TX at that bicentennial.
B'nai mitzvah is simply the plural of bar mitzvah. I do not understand your point.
It's more than that. It's genderless. It's Child of the Mitsvah. Equal brains which are genderless. No more boy Jews and girl Jews like sisterhoods and brotherhoods, fraternities and sororities. When it comes to Tikkun Olam, ONE standard for entering responsibility at the age of 13. One human Jewish brain. B'nai Mitsvah.
I remember when my girls came home from an Orthodox cousin's bar mitzvah in the Kemp Mill area of Silver Spring MD. They were so indignant. I couldn't attend. "What kind of Judaism is that?", they announced loudly."I couldn't see anything." I wouldn't spend money on a bat mitsvah for my daughters because it was an insult to their brains. That's no longer true.
I've never joined any sisterhood of any kind nor any sorority of any kind. The only woman's group I've ever joined was League of Women Voters when we had that economy changing OPEC event which has followed the USA ever since. The only organization that offered immediate education about the oil and gas industry was the League of Women Voters. I studied solar energy back in 1973 with them. I also learned how to use my cars dials to verify the speed limit FAQ's. They were spot on.
My first introduction to the Talmud in 2003, I studied in a coed group.
It's more than that. It's genderless. It's Child of the Mitsvah. Equal brains which are genderless. No more boy Jews and girl Jews like sisterhoods and brotherhoods, fraternities and sororities. When it comes to Tikkun Olam, ONE standard for entering responsibility at the age of 13. One human Jewish brain. B'nai Mitsvah.
I remember when my girls came home from an Orthodox cousin's bar mitzvah in the Kemp Mill area of Silver Spring MD. They were so indignant. I couldn't attend. "What kind of Judaism is that?", they announced loudly."I couldn't see anything." I wouldn't spend money on a bat mitsvah for my daughters because it was an insult to their brains. That's no longer true.
I've never joined any sisterhood of any kind nor any sorority of any kind. The only woman's group I've ever joined was League of Women Voters when we had that economy changing OPEC event which has followed the USA ever since. The only organization that offered immediate education about the oil and gas industry was the League of Women Voters. I studied solar energy back in 1973 with them. I also learned how to use my cars dials to verify the speed limit FAQ's. They were spot on.
My first introduction to the Talmud in 2003, I studied in a coed group.
Although I do not speak or read much Hebrew I am quite familiar with Arabic. In the concept of Arabic grammar B'nai would be Masculine being the plural form of the masculine Bar. B'nai is masculine I believe. If I am wrong may one of the Hebrew speakers correct me.
It's more than that. It's genderless. It's Child of the Mitsvah.
Actually, no, it is not.
Hebrew has a grammatical form, called a 'construct,' which is somewhat like an English contraction.
B'nai mitzvah is grammatically masculine and means "sons of the commandment." It is the construct of banim-mitzvah, where 'banim' is the plural of 'ben' or sons.
Note that b'nai mitzvah can also mean children (pl) of the mitzvah. This is because the masculine plural is always employed for a collection of grammatically masculine or masculine and feminine objects. So, for example:
habanot hatovot ... the good daughters
habanim hatovim ... the good sons
habanim hatovim ... the good children
But there's grammar and then there's gender politics. We disagree on the former but fully agree on the latter. My wife and I belong to a Reform Synagogue which is very fortunate to have a wonderful female rabbi. One of the benefits she brings to our congregation is an added awareness of and insight into such groups as Women of the Wall - an organization that my wife and I strongly support. Let's pray that the b'nai mitvah of our generation grow to increasingly appreciate the value of gender equality.
Last edited by Jayhawker Soule; 09-15-2012 at 12:30 PM..
I remember when my girls came home from an Orthodox cousin's bar mitzvah in the Kemp Mill area of Silver Spring MD. They were so indignant. I couldn't attend. "What kind of Judaism is that?", they announced loudly."I couldn't see anything."
That's just so terribly sad that your daughters reacted that way. My wife, my mother, my mother in law (the mothers are not Orthodox) all attend orthodox weddings, and often describe them as the most beautiful events they have ever seen. I've never met a woman in my life who was not moved by an orthodox wedding. I wonder what part of the wedding they couldn't see? The chupah? I've never been to a wedding where the women couldn't see the chupah just fine.
Since an Orthodox wedding is not the same as "an Orthodox cousin's bar mitzvah", your response strikes me as a bit peculiar. Nevertheless, my wife and I have been to both and, other than not being allowed to sit together, we found both to be very special and very moving. macnietspingal's comment is not grounded in reality.
Since an Orthodox wedding is not the same as "an Orthodox cousin's bar mitzvah", your response strikes me as a bit peculiar. Nevertheless, my wife and I have been to both and, other than not being allowed to sit together, we found both to be very special and very moving. macnietspingal's comment is not grounded in reality.
Oops, I misread. An orthodox bar mitzvah is rarely any different an occasion than a regular Shabbos davening. The Bar Mitzvah boy may lein an aliyah or two, and the shul will likely throw some candy to the bima after he completes his bracha after his aliya, and maybe a nicer than usual kiddush, but otherwise, Orthodox Jews simply don't tend to get involved in all the hoopla that their less obsersevant counterparts get into. If the boy sleeps in on the day of his Bar Mitzvah, then wakes up to watch tv, eat a treif lunch and heads to soccer practice - well, he's still a Bar Mitzvah.
I remember when I was Bar Mitzvah (in a reform shul), I had the palpable sensation that I was graduating from Judaism that day, and that I'd no longer ever have to go to Sunday school, Wednesday Torah reading learning, really anything having to do with Judaism. No offense to my parents, but other than lighting candles every few Friday nights, it was hard to tell we were Jewish. I think these memories are what has lead me to believe that tikkun olam has nothing to do with the world, and everything to do with ourselves.
That's just so terribly sad that your daughters reacted that way. My wife, my mother, my mother in law (the mothers are not Orthodox) all attend orthodox weddings, and often describe them as the most beautiful events they have ever seen. I've never met a woman in my life who was not moved by an orthodox wedding. I wonder what part of the wedding they couldn't see? The chupah? I've never been to a wedding where the women couldn't see the chupah just fine.
I recently was at an Orthodox wedding and I was certainly moved - moved to vomit. A dear friend from college uprooted herself to quit her very good job (think 50K+ in the Midwest at 22) and move across the country for a man she met 3 months ago by a matchmaker. And then she shaved her beautiful hair (which in particular bothers me since I have spent the past 2 years mostly bald due to chemo). It's her choice, of course, and I'm happy that she's happy - but what of the women who don't have a choice? Most of my female friends raised ultra-Orthodox can no longer associate with their families because they were rejected by them when they rejected the inequalities in their community. Many of them just went from ultra-Orthodox to modern Orthodox and still get the same treatment.
I wish I could say I found my friend's ceremony beautiful. To me, it was nothing but sad.
I know more than a few orthodox women and I've yet to meet one who shaved her head. But thanks for sharing ...
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
