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Old 02-12-2013, 04:04 PM
Status: "Wishing all the best of health and peace!" (set 11 days ago)
 
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I know that Orthodox Jews observe a year of mourning after the death of an immediate relative. I was wondering how this would effect the celebration of a Bat-Mitzva gathering for a girl if her grandfather/her mother's father died approx. 4 months before the event. Would it still be appropriate to have a private family gathering or meal to celebrate?
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Old 02-13-2013, 10:39 AM
 
Location: Europe
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Few week ago I was reading online about jewish funeral customs there is a lot to be found online on this. The obituary I read mentioned that the family would be sitting Shivah so I looked it up online to read about it , and somewhere it mentions the thing you ask about what to do about a planned event when there is a death in the family.
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Old 02-13-2013, 12:07 PM
 
Location: Long Island
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It shouldn't be a problem. The most restrictive phases are the first week (shivah) and the first 30 days (shloshim). The final phase (shneim asar chodesh - which lasts the rest of the year) it observed for parents.
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Old 02-13-2013, 01:01 PM
Status: "Wishing all the best of health and peace!" (set 11 days ago)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Juliet Bravo View Post
It shouldn't be a problem. The most restrictive phases are the first week (shivah) and the first 30 days (shloshim). The final phase (shneim asar chodesh - which lasts the rest of the year) it observed for parents.
Yes but if a woman is observing the 12 month/year mourning period for her dead father, how does she prepare/make a Bat-Mitzva celebration for her daughter during that time period?
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Old 02-13-2013, 01:21 PM
 
Location: Long Island
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chava61 View Post
Yes but if a woman is observing the 12 month/year mourning period for her dead father, how does she prepare/make a Bat-Mitzva celebration for her daughter during that time period?
Depending on her level of osbervance, she may not be able to. It would probably be best to ask her rabbi how to deal with this situation. A small family gathering might be allowed.

I apologize though. I focused on the granddaughter and didn't think about her mother.
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Old 02-13-2013, 08:04 PM
 
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For sure this situation is a shaila. One must ask a qualified rabbi what to do. But I suspect the answer is to make the bar mitzvah for the child who has the mitzvah and the mother can avoid all the festivities. The child may not observe the practices of mourning for a grandparent.
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Old 02-14-2013, 05:04 AM
 
Location: Europe
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some information at

Joyous Occasions During Mourning - Death & Mourning
http://www.chabad.org/library/articl...ting-Shiva.htm
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Old 02-14-2013, 08:57 AM
Status: "Wishing all the best of health and peace!" (set 11 days ago)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nerys52SoSilver View Post
From link above I found this:

"Bar Mitzvah

A parent in mourning may prepare the Bar Mitzvah party even during sheloshim, so long as it is after shiva. He should not, however, eat the meal with the guests. He may eat in another room, and socialize with the guests during the meal proper, without music.

Such a parent may also dress for the occasion. The Bar Mitzvah lad himself, if he is in mourning for one of his parents, may dress in his full Sabbath best. The religious ceremony of Bar Mitzvah is not cancelled even if the boy is in mourning. All mourners, whether or not they are related to the Bar Mitzvah, may attend the celebration during sheloshim, but should avoid eating at the dinner or listening to music. After sheloshim, the mourner for parents may attend and participate in the meal if the celebrant speaks on matters of Torah, thus indicating that it is a simchah shel mitzvah, a religious occasion."

So I assume a similar situation would be valid for a Bat Mitzva in respect to having some kind of private family gathering to mark the occasion.
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Old 02-14-2013, 11:46 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Chava61 View Post
So I assume a similar situation would be valid for a Bat Mitzva in respect to having some kind of private family gathering to mark the occasion.
I find it very interesting, that even in the "very frum communities," we're seeing more and more "Bas" Mitzvah celebrations. Of course the girls are not called to the Torah, but often times they have a seuda shel mitzvah on motzei Shabbos - my wife tells me they are absolutely lovely events (no men are invited, so I've never seen one of these).
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Old 03-10-2013, 11:55 AM
 
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This is the practice of the most orthodox Jews.... Generally, the observance levels are (from most to least)
Othodox... Conservative... Reformed.

For most conservative and reformed Jews, the bar/bat mitavah would go on, regardless of death after the period of shiva. You might tone down the celebration and mention the person who has passed away, but I can't see huge alterations to a bar/bat mitzvah months after a death.
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