Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think there was a similar thread several months ago about shaking hands, but it's worth a revisit.
Do you frequently find yourself deflecting hugs from members of the opposite sex? I've decided that it's not right to permit this from patients anymore. I had a "hug" from a man today that made me extremely uncomfortable.
I feel like just saying, "I can't hug you". However, that would be seen as offensive and bring out more nosy questions.
Does anyone encounter this, and how do you handle it?
I run into it. I don't mind so much from the older ladies at the synagogue, but it makes me uncomfortable with the ones more my age. I don't mind a handshake, but hugs and kisses on the cheek bother me. I normally try to step away a bit before it happens so it's more of an one-armed thing than an actual hug.
I have to meet with a new member of the congregation this Thursday (she's helping me write my resume), and I'm bringing my wife. It helps me feel a little more comfortable.
But this sparked an interesting discussion with my wife. Apparently I don't have an issue with hugging the elderly women who are single, but I do with those who are married. And I'm uncomfortable around all women who are around my age, even in social settings, if it involves being less than several feet apart. Arm's length apart is my general rule of thumb.
Thanks for your perspective, JB. I appreciate it. Yes, even at the synagogue, the kisses on the cheek do not seem appropriate to me. At work, it's even worse when it's someone my age, and they are engaging in a full body hug. UGH. Going to have to think on this one.
When I studied with the Rabbi in Dayton, he explained to me that we never closed the door when we were together, and when there was no one left in the synagogue, we went to the sanctuary where there were cleaning people or someone around. I liked that so much better because I knew the rules and I thought it was proper.
Did you know, on a separate note, that Elie Wiesel is coming to Greenville, SC? I'm so excited!
Thankfully nobody at my shul or in my community does the hug or handshake thing with the opposite sex. Of course the workplace can get tricky. I find the hardest is avoiding touching my aunts, female cousins, sisters in law, etc...
Yes. I can see one more reason why hand shaking is not great, either. It leads to more and more, it seems! (I always thought opposite gender blood relatives were okay to touch. Interesting. I learn more and more every day).
I think there was a similar thread several months ago about shaking hands, but it's worth a revisit.
Do you frequently find yourself deflecting hugs from members of the opposite sex? I've decided that it's not right to permit this from patients anymore. I had a "hug" from a man today that made me extremely uncomfortable.
I feel like just saying, "I can't hug you". However, that would be seen as offensive and bring out more nosy questions.
Does anyone encounter this, and how do you handle it?
Thank you!
This must be a tough situation for you. From my observations, our society is much more touchy-feely and huggy than it used to be. I never used to see adults hugging and kissing each other as greetings, but now a lot of us do it, and I like it a lot. Maybe we are becoming a warmer society instead of just a bunch of stand-offish WASPs like it was when I was young.
Maybe it is dure to an influence from Eastern and Southern Europe.
Anyway, if you don't like this new culture, maybe the best thing is to isolate yourself into a culture where you are more comfortable. That is what the Amish do.
I think a better solution is to not touch people who don't wish to touched. I don't see where respecting a person and their wishes when it comes to physical contact is a bad thing.
I think a better solution is to not touch people who don't wish to touched. I don't see where respecting a person and their wishes when it comes to physical contact is a bad thing.
Unless people wear a "Do Not Touch" sign, we don't know they do not want to be touched and hugged. We assume they are like us and like contact from another person.
Unless people wear a "Do Not Touch" sign, we don't know they do not want to be touched and hugged. We assume they are like us and like contact from another person.
Yeah, because I guess asking is just way too hard for some people.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Apparently I don't have an issue with hugging the elderly women who are single, but I do with those who are married. And I'm uncomfortable around all women who are around my age, even in social settings, if it involves being less than several feet apart. Arm's length apart is my general rule of thumb.
