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I live in Boston with my boyfriend and I grew up in NYC/East Asia. My boyfriend just got a job in Overland Park and grew up in Lee's Summit. I have never lived in the Midwest and, to be frank, I'm nervous. I know absolutely nothing about the area/midwest culture and am concerned about the conservatism (sorry). Obviously, I want to like my neighbors and I want them to like me.
Where would you recommend we live? How should I go about meeting new folks? I'm a healthcare manager so befriending my employees isn't something I want to do - it's kind of a lonely job and tough to meet people at work.
He would like a short commute to work and I'm flexible. He's familiar with the area and I'm not, so he's comfortable accommodating my needs a bit.
Some facts:
We are in our late 20's/early 30's
I'm a very healthy eater and would like to be close to Whole Foods or something of the sort
I'm extremely left leaning and Athiest
I'm a foodie and like all types of ethnic food
While we aren't heavy drinkers, I like wine bars and quieter places
I like small independent shops and boutiques over big box stores or chains
I refuse to shop at Wal-Mart
I believe in social justice causes
I'm a nerd in the knowledge seeking intellectual sense and not in the "I know lots of stuff about a subject" sense.
I'm a dog lover/owner and have been involved in dog rescue
I tend to vibe more with artist/creatives/hippy types
Open mindedness is important to me
Ignorance and racism can really get under my skin since I'm a minority
Any suggestions/feedback would be most welcome. Thanks so much.
If your boyfriend grew up there, knowing you as he does, he should have a pretty good grip on whether the atmosphere would suit you or not various places. What does he have to say? Is he aware of/concerned by your trepidation?
In my experience (very anecdotal, but also not simply limited to a person or two, either), people accustomed to NYC are often less than favorable in their opinions of KC...IF they don't come into living there with a willingness to embrace it for what it is, and insist upon playing the comparison game, anyway. If you want KC to be NYC, or anything other than KC, you will be disappointed, so it's really up to you and the attitude you will bring to the table. If, as you say, openmindedness is important to you, I'm sure you'll keep an open mind about KC, and judge it on its own merits.
There is nothing on your list that you will be unable to find, except that you'll have to venture into suburbia for the time being for a Whole Foods. If access to an Asian community is important to you in any regard, there are various neighborhhods, both urban and suburban, that will fit the bill.
One thing people moving from larger metros underestimate when they come to KC is that everything's pretty close to everything else, distancewise and travelwise (huge difference for me, coming from having lived in Chicago, even more so from the NYC perspective). So going to a grocery store "out in the suburbs" isn't a huge deal or undertaking.
Some things you will notice and have to adjust to...
-Public transportation is not something you can or should expect to count on. It exists, but in a much, much, much more limited and far less useful way than that to which you are mist likely accustomed.
-Driving culture. Few people walk or bike as a primary means of getting around, except for fun in a few city neighborhoods that are specifically set up for foot traffic (Plaza, City Market, etc.). But people drive TO these areas to walk around, if they don't live there.
-Driving is easy. There is essentially no traffic. You will laugh inside when you hear locals squawking about "bad traffic." Even at its occasional worst, it's nothing. Ditto parking.
-There are a lot of churches and people who go to them. There are also a lot of people who don't. This isn't really any different in NYC, though, which certainly has no shortage of religious adherents. If you're concerned that you won't find non-churchgoers with whom to socialize, I wouldn't sweat it. Just like everywhere else, your age demographic isn't particularly heavily represented in most congregations.
I would look for a loft in the River Market or Columbus Park. Most are dog friendly. There is a farmers market there, plus quite a few local restaurants and bars. Another option would be Westport or along 39th street.
Maybe Waldo/Brookside/Westport. But really, if he works in OP and wants a short commute, I personally would not live any further from OP than Waldo/Brookside. And you might love Overland Park. Why not come for a weekend and visit and have your boyfriend take you all around Kansas City so you can see what appeals to you?
If being around like-minded people is important, you will definitely want to stay in the central core of the city - anywhere from the Missouri River on the north to 75th St. on the South, between State Line Rd and Troost Ave. You will notice a fairly considerable cultural shift once you leave the urban core for the suburban areas.
There is a pretty wide range of neighborhoods in the urban core, so if you gave a little more details about your housing requirements (rent vs buy, house/apartment/loft, budget, etc) we might be able to narrow it down better. I think Volker or the Westside sounds like they could be great for you.
As far as meeting new folks, just going off your interests, it sounds like you have some potential avenues for meeting people. Since social justice is important to you, there are plenty of volunteer organizations where you could meet people - in particular Social Heart is a charity fund raising group that is focused on the social aspect for young professionals, or you could probably find a dog rescue/animal shelter for volunteering. Since you are a self-proclaimed "nerd" you might be able to find some social activities that might appeal to you - like trivia nights at bars.
If he wants a short commute, it makes sense to live in Overland Park. There are Whole Foods and Trader Joes and dog lovers/dog parks and wine bars.
Overland Park/Johnson County is more conservative than liberal in general, but there are most certainly a lot of liberal people here too.
Luzianne, we know you love JoCo and think it is perfect for everyone, but it is the opposite of what this person is looking for. If someone wanted to be around conservative, religious, middle-aged family oriented folks, with good access to chain restaurants and Wal-marts, I wouldn't suggest they live in the city. When the opposite is true, why suggest Overland Park?
He is going to work in Overland Park and wants a short commute. It is NOT the opposite of what the person is looking for; in fact, in some respects it IS what they are looking for and in other aspects not. That is why I suggested a trip to look at various areas of Kansas City and make a decision on what area suits them.
Johnson County is not all conservative, middle-aged people, with only chain restaurants. There is a wide range of people here and stores and restaurants that are not chains. I hate Walmart too. Should I move out of Johnson County?
I think there are a whole lot more liberalism in Johnson County than people realize. It's a whole lot different than it was even 10 years ago. There is a large Jewish population in Johnson County and they definitely tend to be much more liberal than the Christian population, but many Christians aren't even that conservative anymore. But mostly religion isn't even a topic of discussion. Southern Missouri - yes, that is very conservative. Not so with any of the Kansas City suburbs.
If your boyfriend grew up there, knowing you as he does, he should have a pretty good grip on whether the atmosphere would suit you or not various places. What does he have to say? Is he aware of/concerned by your trepidation?
In my experience (very anecdotal, but also not simply limited to a person or two, either), people accustomed to NYC are often less than favorable in their opinions of KC...IF they don't come into living there with a willingness to embrace it for what it is, and insist upon playing the comparison game, anyway. If you want KC to be NYC, or anything other than KC, you will be disappointed, so it's really up to you and the attitude you will bring to the table. If, as you say, openmindedness is important to you, I'm sure you'll keep an open mind about KC, and judge it on its own merits.
There is nothing on your list that you will be unable to find, except that you'll have to venture into suburbia for the time being for a Whole Foods. If access to an Asian community is important to you in any regard, there are various neighborhhods, both urban and suburban, that will fit the bill.
One thing people moving from larger metros underestimate when they come to KC is that everything's pretty close to everything else, distancewise and travelwise (huge difference for me, coming from having lived in Chicago, even more so from the NYC perspective). So going to a grocery store "out in the suburbs" isn't a huge deal or undertaking.
Some things you will notice and have to adjust to...
-Public transportation is not something you can or should expect to count on. It exists, but in a much, much, much more limited and far less useful way than that to which you are mist likely accustomed.
-Driving culture. Few people walk or bike as a primary means of getting around, except for fun in a few city neighborhoods that are specifically set up for foot traffic (Plaza, City Market, etc.). But people drive TO these areas to walk around, if they don't live there.
-Driving is easy. There is essentially no traffic. You will laugh inside when you hear locals squawking about "bad traffic." Even at its occasional worst, it's nothing. Ditto parking.
-There are a lot of churches and people who go to them. There are also a lot of people who don't. This isn't really any different in NYC, though, which certainly has no shortage of religious adherents. If you're concerned that you won't find non-churchgoers with whom to socialize, I wouldn't sweat it. Just like everywhere else, your age demographic isn't particularly heavily represented in most congregations.
This is a good post. I feel like if I had posted this, it wouldn't have gone over as well.
You will see me post a lot about KC (the good and bad), but the reality is that KC is a nice city that can generally offer you most of what you could want in a city. Check out the sticky thread at top and you will see that KC does offer a lot, you won't be bored. The problem is that compared with places like Boston and even most smaller metros, you will have to do some work to find what does exist in the city. Boston is just in your face with active fit people, people outside (not just in cars everywhere), walkable neighborhoods, plethora of transit options etc. Having lived on the east coast now for several years, KC will definitely feel a bit "empty". Cities out here are always just so busy and vibrant, not just in downtown areas, but throughout entire cities. City parks and greenways in eastern cities are FULL ALL THE TIME. KC is never busy and downtown (except during and around events or venues) and neighborhoods around downtown are pretty empty with little foot traffic, wide underused roads etc. Parks are often just "green space" with few people using them. It's a very different feel.
I personally wouldn't worry about the city being "conservative". While it will be more so than Boston, I just don't find KC to be a annoyingly religious however the suburbs around KC are very conservative compared to the suburbs around DC, Philly, Boston etc though you will notice the megachurches etc which are more rare on the east coast.
You could probably live in the city or in Overland Park either one. Overland Park is a very auto oriented area, but it's also a relatively healthy demographic which supports many health food stores etc. It has a pretty extensive bike trail network and Shawnee Mission Park (which is a bit of a drive) has a nice dog park. But it sounds like you would be better off in the city, so look at city neighborhoods like maybe around UMKC or River Market which will at least give you a taste of an east coast urban neighborhood. I believe there is a whole foods opening up near UMKC. West Plaza, Hyde Park, Valentine, and many other pockets of Midtown will offer you some of the urban feel that you may prefer, it will just be far more laid back and way less people and traffic outside at any given time. Penn Valley Park for example has a nice dog park, but the Park is generally underused. In cities where more people are out doing things, they actually feel much safer than KC does. In KC, you really are not any less safe, it's just that you don't have that feel of being around a lot of people all the time and it can be a bit intimidating.
The good thing is that you can drive anywhere and park anywhere without delay. You can go anywhere in KC and park near where you are going with almost no problem. This is not really good for urban vibrancy, but you can take advantage of it since it exists. You might even enjoy it for a while after living in a city where driving and parking is a royal PITA. In KC it's easy to live in the city in KC and commute to OP and drive to suburban shopping. Or you could just stop by a whole foods in OP after work on your way home. Compared to bigger cities, I think KC will always be this way even if its urban core does materialize. It's just a smaller metro and it has so many freeways.
Enjoy KC, the city needs more progressive and urban minded people from other large cities. You will probably like it there once you get used to how it is and you will be a part of the community trying to make improvements such as better transit, better parks, better urban planning etc. The city offers a lot, it just has not figured out how to pull it all together and make a more walkable, transit friendly city yet and continues to locate attractions in far flung locations that are 30 minutes apart via private auto, let alone transit if it's even available.
Just don't worry about your race, being an atheist etc. Not really an issue. KC has urban planning problems and despite its location in conservative middle America, it's a large metropolitan area that will lean liberal (the core of KCMO is very liberal) and is very acceptable and open to alternative lifestyles, different religious beliefs etc. Now if you were moving to Oklahoma City, that would be a completely different story.
This is a good post. I feel like if I had posted this, it wouldn't have gone over as well.
You will see me post a lot about KC (the good and bad), but the reality is that KC is a nice city that can generally offer you most of what you could want in a city. Check out the sticky thread at top and you will see that KC does offer a lot, you won't be bored. The problem is that compared with places like Boston and even most smaller metros, you will have to do some work to find what does exist in the city. Boston is just in your face with active fit people, people outside (not just in cars everywhere), walkable neighborhoods, plethora of transit options etc. Having lived on the east coast now for several years, KC will definitely feel a bit "empty". Cities out here are always just so busy and vibrant, not just in downtown areas, but throughout entire cities. City parks and greenways in eastern cities are FULL ALL THE TIME. KC is never busy and downtown (except during and around events or venues) and neighborhoods around downtown are pretty empty with little foot traffic, wide underused roads etc. Parks are often just "green space" with few people using them. It's a very different feel.
I personally wouldn't worry about the city being "conservative". While it will be more so than Boston, I just don't find KC to be a annoyingly religious however the suburbs around KC are very conservative compared to the suburbs around DC, Philly, Boston etc though you will notice the megachurches etc which are more rare on the east coast.
You could probably live in the city or in Overland Park either one. Overland Park is a very auto oriented area, but it's also a relatively healthy demographic which supports many health food stores etc. It has a pretty extensive bike trail network and Shawnee Mission Park (which is a bit of a drive) has a nice dog park. But it sounds like you would be better off in the city, so look at city neighborhoods like maybe around UMKC or River Market which will at least give you a taste of an east coast urban neighborhood. I believe there is a whole foods opening up near UMKC. West Plaza, Hyde Park, Valentine, and many other pockets of Midtown will offer you some of the urban feel that you may prefer, it will just be far more laid back and way less people and traffic outside at any given time. Penn Valley Park for example has a nice dog park, but the Park is generally underused. In cities where more people are out doing things, they actually feel much safer than KC does. In KC, you really are not any less safe, it's just that you don't have that feel of being around a lot of people all the time and it can be a bit intimidating.
The good thing is that you can drive anywhere and park anywhere without delay. You can go anywhere in KC and park near where you are going with almost no problem. This is not really good for urban vibrancy, but you can take advantage of it since it exists. You might even enjoy it for a while after living in a city where driving and parking is a royal PITA. In KC it's easy to live in the city in KC and commute to OP and drive to suburban shopping. Or you could just stop by a whole foods in OP after work on your way home. Compared to bigger cities, I think KC will always be this way even if its urban core does materialize. It's just a smaller metro and it has so many freeways.
Enjoy KC, the city needs more progressive and urban minded people from other large cities. You will probably like it there once you get used to how it is and you will be a part of the community trying to make improvements such as better transit, better parks, better urban planning etc. The city offers a lot, it just has not figured out how to pull it all together and make a more walkable, transit friendly city yet and continues to locate attractions in far flung locations that are 30 minutes apart via private auto, let alone transit if it's even available.
Just don't worry about your race, being an atheist etc. Not really an issue. KC has urban planning problems and despite its location in conservative middle America, it's a large metropolitan area that will lean liberal (the core of KCMO is very liberal) and is very acceptable and open to alternative lifestyles, different religious beliefs etc. Now if you were moving to Oklahoma City, that would be a completely different story.
But you wouldn't have posted that. You would have posted this ^. See the difference?
If your boyfriend grew up there, knowing you as he does, he should have a pretty good grip on whether the atmosphere would suit you or not various places. What does he have to say? Is he aware of/concerned by your trepidation?
In my experience (very anecdotal, but also not simply limited to a person or two, either), people accustomed to NYC are often less than favorable in their opinions of KC...IF they don't come into living there with a willingness to embrace it for what it is, and insist upon playing the comparison game, anyway. If you want KC to be NYC, or anything other than KC, you will be disappointed, so it's really up to you and the attitude you will bring to the table. If, as you say, openmindedness is important to you, I'm sure you'll keep an open mind about KC, and judge it on its own merits.
There is nothing on your list that you will be unable to find, except that you'll have to venture into suburbia for the time being for a Whole Foods. If access to an Asian community is important to you in any regard, there are various neighborhhods, both urban and suburban, that will fit the bill.
One thing people moving from larger metros underestimate when they come to KC is that everything's pretty close to everything else, distancewise and travelwise (huge difference for me, coming from having lived in Chicago, even more so from the NYC perspective). So going to a grocery store "out in the suburbs" isn't a huge deal or undertaking.
Some things you will notice and have to adjust to...
-Public transportation is not something you can or should expect to count on. It exists, but in a much, much, much more limited and far less useful way than that to which you are mist likely accustomed.
-Driving culture. Few people walk or bike as a primary means of getting around, except for fun in a few city neighborhoods that are specifically set up for foot traffic (Plaza, City Market, etc.). But people drive TO these areas to walk around, if they don't live there.
-Driving is easy. There is essentially no traffic. You will laugh inside when you hear locals squawking about "bad traffic." Even at its occasional worst, it's nothing. Ditto parking.
-There are a lot of churches and people who go to them. There are also a lot of people who don't. This isn't really any different in NYC, though, which certainly has no shortage of religious adherents. If you're concerned that you won't find non-churchgoers with whom to socialize, I wouldn't sweat it. Just like everywhere else, your age demographic isn't particularly heavily represented in most congregations.
Thank you! I like your username.
I appreciate your feedback and I understand what you're saying. I certainly do not expect a NYC/Boston kind of vibe and am prepared to embrace and adjust to a new lifestyle. Actually, I'm looking forward to a more casual pace. I want to slow down because I've been so Type A and I'm tired of everything being so stressful! Just getting TO work is stressful! My fear is not so much about me adjusting to the city but more because I don't want to go somewhere new and accidentally offend someone.
It's kind of like when I would watch foreigners come to Korea and do really offensive things without realizing it just because they didn't understand the culture. As such, I want to make sure where I do live is somewhere I can adapt and a place that I don't have to be overly mindful of offending someone.
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But you wouldn't have posted that. You would have posted this ^. See the difference?
