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If your neighborhood is "going down," it's not going to get better. Maybe YOU should be the ones to move in -- somewhere else -- before you get an equally bad or even worse neighbor to take that one's place.
Coming from the other side of this, I have teenage boys. We live next to a retired couple and THEY ARE A NUISANCE TO US about our basketball hoop! First, let me say that I agree that it is inconsiderate to play ball endlessly at all hours of the night. I even made the husband aware that we were going to get the hoop, and he didn't oppose. But after we got it, the husband "suggested" that we move it somewhere else. My husband said NO! Then he asked my husband if our boys could NOT play at certain times in the evening because the wife has a condition, then the wife asked me if our boys could NOT play in the morning because her husband has a condition......well then when can they play??.....damn.....I told her that we are not going to change up our whole routine because her and her husband are retired. And she was nasty to me and told me that she would talk to my husband.....well, lady.....MY husband is going to tell you the same thing!!!!! What would make her think that my husband would do something that I ALREADY SAID NO TO....especially for her.....who is always rude to my husband.....really????? Anyway, we live in a fairly new neighborhood where the homes are custom. Our sales lady told us that a retired couple bought the lot next to us (which I honestly did have concerns about). I am sure she told them they were moving next to a family with kids!! That said, I am not sure why a retired couple would choose a house model that lined up their bedroom to a larger family homes's driveway. They could have easily had the builder flip the design and put their bedroom on the other side where there is no house next door. Not just for the sake of having a baskeball hoop of course, but I would think that the noise from car engines, car alarms, car doors would be enough of a nuisance when a larger family (who is not retired!) has multiple people going in and out to school, work, etc.
Anyway, the lady wanted to talk to me about it again one time when I was walking my dog and I had to remind her that this is NOT A RETIREMENT COMMUNITY. She can't understand that people, especially us, are not going to be sneaking around and being extra quiet because they are retired. For that, you need to move to a retirement community. Sorry, but some neighbors have to understand that a bouncing ball is music to the ears of some parents because it means that their kids are outside being active and not stuck in the house playing video games.
So bottom line.......my kids are going to play basketball whenever they want to at reasonable hours between 8:00am and 10:00pm. We follow all of the rules, we requested permission from the HOA to get the basketball hoop and they said we can have it as long as it is on OUR property within the setback. We spent a lot of time and money designing our home. We spent a lot of money on the basketball hoop and I will remind them if it comes up again that I was a courteous neighbor and I let them know that we were getting it. If you (retired couple) have so many conditions that you can't stand a basketball game happening next door, then move to a retirement community.....or better yet, move to Hospice!!!
Last edited by 5callmemommy; 10-31-2017 at 11:56 AM..
especially us, are not going to be sneaking around and being extra quiet because they are retired.
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my kids are going to play basketball whenever they want to
...
move to a retirement community.....or better yet, move to Hospice!!!
EDIT: this is in response to the poster above, NOT the OP.
My question would be: do you live miles and miles from any playground with a basketball court? Too far to drive?
You are used to the noise your kids make, and it's "music to your ears." It's not music to the ears of someone who is trying to take a nap. Or read a book. Or watch TV. Or cook a meal. Or do the laundry. Get my drift?
I think it was pretty inconsiderate of you to put up the hoop when you KNEW you were living next to that couple. Sure, you have rights blah blah blah. But being considerate and willing to accommodate your neighbors is simply common decency. It sounds like you just said "screw them" and did what you wanted to do.
I've objected to constantly barking dogs before and been told by neighbors that nothing says they can't have dogs (true) and that dogs bark (also true). So it comes down to whether they give a poop (doggy poop) about and are willing to put forth the modest effort to keep the dog from barking (for instance, a muzzle). I've found that complaining to the police does essentially nothing. And BTW, 8 in the morning is pretty early and 10 in the evening is pretty late. Perhaps you could, y'know, COMPROMISE by telling the kids they could only use the hoop in the afternoon, and if they wanted to play other times, you could drive them to a playground?
And BTW, letting them know you were going to put up the hoop wasn't being courteous in the slightest. It was just telling them that you were going to do something that would affect their quality of life. What would have been courteous was to work out some type of compromise--but you've said that your kids will play at virtually all hours, and too bad for your neighbors.
Coming from the other side of this, I have teenage boys. We live next to a retired couple and THEY ARE A NUISANCE TO US about our basketball hoop! First, let me say that I agree that it is inconsiderate to play ball endlessly at all hours of the night. I even made the husband aware that we were going to get the hoop, and he didn't oppose. But after we got it, the husband "suggested" that we move it somewhere else. My husband said NO! Then he asked my husband if our boys could NOT play at certain times in the evening because the wife has a condition, then the wife asked me if our boys could NOT play in the morning because her husband has a condition......well then when can they play??.....damn.....I told her that we are not going to change up our whole routine because her and her husband are retired. And she was nasty to me and told me that she would talk to my husband.....well, lady.....MY husband is going to tell you the same thing!!!!! What would make her think that my husband would do something that I ALREADY SAID NO TO....especially for her.....who is always rude to my husband.....really????? Anyway, we live in a fairly new neighborhood where the homes are custom. Our sales lady told us that a retired couple bought the lot next to us (which I honestly did have concerns about). I am sure she told them they were moving next to a family with kids!! That said, I am not sure why a retired couple would choose a house model that lined up their bedroom to a larger family homes's driveway. They could have easily had the builder flip the design and put their bedroom on the other side where there is no house next door. Not just for the sake of having a baskeball hoop of course, but I would think that the noise from car engines, car alarms, car doors would be enough of a nuisance when a larger family (who is not retired!) has multiple people going in and out to school, work, etc.
Anyway, the lady wanted to talk to me about it again one time when I was walking my dog and I had to remind her that this is NOT A RETIREMENT COMMUNITY. She can't understand that people, especially us, are not going to be sneaking around and being extra quiet because they are retired. For that, you need to move to a retirement community. Sorry, but some neighbors have to understand that a bouncing ball is music to the ears of some parents because it means that their kids are outside being active and not stuck in the house playing video games.
So bottom line.......my kids are going to play basketball whenever they want to at reasonable hours between 8:00am and 10:00pm. We follow all of the rules, we requested permission from the HOA to get the basketball hoop and they said we can have it as long as it is on OUR property within the setback. We spent a lot of time and money designing our home. We spent a lot of money on the basketball hoop and I will remind them if it comes up again that I was a courteous neighbor and I let them know that we were getting it. If you (retired couple) have so many conditions that you can't stand a basketball game happening next door, then move to a retirement community.....or better yet, move to Hospice!!!
Within the range of normal, legal activity, there are few things more annoying than a bouncing basketball next door in what would otherwise be a quiet neighborhood. Your neighbors are not the nuisance.
I have learned to look carefully for hoops in close vicinity of any prospective dwelling I may ever again consider. I will run from any scenario where I see them because they will drive you up the wall almost as fast as will loud hip-hop "music".
Coming from the other side of this, I have teenage boys. We live next to a retired couple and THEY ARE A NUISANCE TO US about our basketball hoop! First, let me say that I agree that it is inconsiderate to play ball endlessly at all hours of the night. I even made the husband aware that we were going to get the hoop, and he didn't oppose. But after we got it, the husband "suggested" that we move it somewhere else. My husband said NO! Then he asked my husband if our boys could NOT play at certain times in the evening because the wife has a condition, then the wife asked me if our boys could NOT play in the morning because her husband has a condition......well then when can they play??.....damn.....I told her that we are not going to change up our whole routine because her and her husband are retired. And she was nasty to me and told me that she would talk to my husband.....well, lady.....MY husband is going to tell you the same thing!!!!! What would make her think that my husband would do something that I ALREADY SAID NO TO....especially for her.....who is always rude to my husband.....really????? Anyway, we live in a fairly new neighborhood where the homes are custom. Our sales lady told us that a retired couple bought the lot next to us (which I honestly did have concerns about). I am sure she told them they were moving next to a family with kids!! That said, I am not sure why a retired couple would choose a house model that lined up their bedroom to a larger family homes's driveway. They could have easily had the builder flip the design and put their bedroom on the other side where there is no house next door. Not just for the sake of having a baskeball hoop of course, but I would think that the noise from car engines, car alarms, car doors would be enough of a nuisance when a larger family (who is not retired!) has multiple people going in and out to school, work, etc.
Anyway, the lady wanted to talk to me about it again one time when I was walking my dog and I had to remind her that this is NOT A RETIREMENT COMMUNITY. She can't understand that people, especially us, are not going to be sneaking around and being extra quiet because they are retired. For that, you need to move to a retirement community. Sorry, but some neighbors have to understand that a bouncing ball is music to the ears of some parents because it means that their kids are outside being active and not stuck in the house playing video games.
So bottom line.......my kids are going to play basketball whenever they want to at reasonable hours between 8:00am and 10:00pm. We follow all of the rules, we requested permission from the HOA to get the basketball hoop and they said we can have it as long as it is on OUR property within the setback. We spent a lot of time and money designing our home. We spent a lot of money on the basketball hoop and I will remind them if it comes up again that I was a courteous neighbor and I let them know that we were getting it. If you (retired couple) have so many conditions that you can't stand a basketball game happening next door, then move to a retirement community.....or better yet, move to Hospice!!!
The "it's all about me" mentality that you display is a big reason why I would not ever consider living in a "suburban neighborhood." I don't like to see any neighbors from my wooded property, and rural areas are much better for that. It's too bad that one has to acquire lots of acreage to have privacy these days.
FIRST:
My husband and I were laughing at this because I was researching on line to get ideas on how people respond and resolve these "basketball hoop" conflicts, but I see that I may have caused a stir here (LOL again) so I will start with an update to my own scenario.
So, FYI, the lady APOLOGIZED to ME and said that she would not bring it up again!, first for threatening to talk to my husband when I told her that we were not changing our routine for them and secondly because our kids don't even play basketball a lot. She recognized that it is NOT ALL ABOUT THEM .....and yes, I did remind her that this is not a retirement community...in the end, we called a truce......but NOTHING CHANGES. So, YES THEY ARE ones that are a nuisance to US and the fact that she OWNED it and APOLOGIZED to me proves my point! Then she said she wants to be good neighbors.....ok. So for all who thought I was mean or unreasonable or have a poor attitude, I was only responding to how it was given to me. Don't be fooled, this lady was mean and rude to me and then she had the nerve to cry! Whatever....I don't feel sorry for her.
SECOND: A QUESTION
Why are the people that find basketball hoops a problem the only ones that get to have a say and come down on the people that have them????? I am offering the other angle of this because I am a HOMEOWNER with teenagers who has one. If you read my post more closely (even though it may have sounded mean because I was annoyed) basketball hoops are ALLOWED in my neighborhood and I advised the neighbor that I was getting it. I didn't HAVE to do that....I only needed permission from my Neighborhood Association. He did not object, in fact, he said that he would come play with them sometime....so to me it was going to be all good. And as far as compromise, did you read the part where they asked us to not play in the morning AND in the evening? What about our QUALITY of life being affected by whiny neighbors?? I never said that my kids would play all hours of the night, I said they can play when they want to within the PARAMETERS of what is ALLOWED by the neighborhood association. But let's be HONEST.........EVEN IF THEY PLAY ON A SUNNY SUNDAY AFTERNOON FOR 10 MINUTES, they will still complain!So why compromise on something that we will never be able to get right according to THEM????? We live here too!! AND we follow all of the rules! My kids do not play for hours and hours at a time late at night, they play a few times a week at best because they are busy with school and work. And they play a really good game...talking smack and everything and then go and do something else.
Let's get it straight....compromising and trying to control are two totally different things. They way they would have it, we would be the only ones compromising....(I could go on and share other scenarios about how the husband treated the people who were working on our backyard pool project). Bottom line is that we were NEVER out of line to start with (as I kindly refer you back to the apology that SHE gave to ME). They should just go get some earplugs or find some kind of white noise solution. I didn't say anything when I was on a conference call in my office and she walked by my house with her dogs and my dog saw them through the window and had a fit. My dog interrupted my call, but since I know now that can happen, I just put my dog in another room when I see her coming.........I didn't ask her to NOT walk by my house and threaten that I would talk to her husband if she didn't agree! I responded reasonably to a distraction caused by my neighbor and they can do the same thing.
A lot of our neighbors have basketball hoops and a lot of our neighbors that live nextdoor to one complain about it. Unfortunately, we just have to learn how to live as next door neighbors when that is the situation. No one is out to stop anyone from enjoying themselves on either side, but you catch more flies with honey "do you get MY drift?". And yes, we have a basketball hoop in our neighborhood, but ours is newer and better and certainly more convenient....period! So why do we have to drive or walk to a hoop when we have one? Again, we live here too!
THIRD:
I will probably be looking for other posts on how people respond to a resolve conflicts when your neighbor has a pool. Our family is big and growing and we just finished construction on a pool which means summer pool parties, grilling burgers and dogs, music, (not too loud, but within the parameters). It's crazy because I think our homes are a good enough distance apart, but I already know it is coming because, unfortunately for us, we might live next door to boring party poopers. Our neighbors on the other side of us and across the street have never said anything to us about the basketball or our pool construction project or ANYTHING ELSE and we have never said anything to them. We are all reasonable, so trust me, it is not us, it is the people that may be happier living in a retirement community! We are going to enjoy our home and our lives, we can't be bothered by party poopers!
Live and Let Live. ENJOY LIFE....HAVE FUN!
Good Night.
FIRST:
My husband and I were laughing at this because I was researching on line to get ideas on how people respond and resolve these "basketball hoop" conflicts, but I see that I may have caused a stir here (LOL again) so I will start with an update to my own scenario.
So, FYI, the lady APOLOGIZED to ME and said that she would not bring it up again!, first for threatening to talk to my husband when I told her that we were not changing our routine for them and secondly because our kids don't even play basketball a lot. She recognized that it is NOT ALL ABOUT THEM .....and yes, I did remind her that this is not a retirement community...in the end, we called a truce......but NOTHING CHANGES. So, YES THEY ARE ones that are a nuisance to US and the fact that she OWNED it and APOLOGIZED to me proves my point! Then she said she wants to be good neighbors.....ok. So for all who thought I was mean or unreasonable or have a poor attitude, I was only responding to how it was given to me. Don't be fooled, this lady was mean and rude to me and then she had the nerve to cry! Whatever....I don't feel sorry for her.
SECOND: A QUESTION
Why are the people that find basketball hoops a problem the only ones that get to have a say and come down on the people that have them????? I am offering the other angle of this because I am a HOMEOWNER with teenagers who has one. If you read my post more closely (even though it may have sounded mean because I was annoyed) basketball hoops are ALLOWED in my neighborhood and I advised the neighbor that I was getting it. I didn't HAVE to do that....I only needed permission from my Neighborhood Association. He did not object, in fact, he said that he would come play with them sometime....so to me it was going to be all good. And as far as compromise, did you read the part where they asked us to not play in the morning AND in the evening? What about our QUALITY of life being affected by whiny neighbors?? I never said that my kids would play all hours of the night, I said they can play when they want to within the PARAMETERS of what is ALLOWED by the neighborhood association. But let's be HONEST.........EVEN IF THEY PLAY ON A SUNNY SUNDAY AFTERNOON FOR 10 MINUTES, they will still complain!So why compromise on something that we will never be able to get right according to THEM????? We live here too!! AND we follow all of the rules! My kids do not play for hours and hours at a time late at night, they play a few times a week at best because they are busy with school and work. And they play a really good game...talking smack and everything and then go and do something else.
Let's get it straight....compromising and trying to control are two totally different things. They way they would have it, we would be the only ones compromising....(I could go on and share other scenarios about how the husband treated the people who were working on our backyard pool project). Bottom line is that we were NEVER out of line to start with (as I kindly refer you back to the apology that SHE gave to ME). They should just go get some earplugs or find some kind of white noise solution. I didn't say anything when I was on a conference call in my office and she walked by my house with her dogs and my dog saw them through the window and had a fit. My dog interrupted my call, but since I know now that can happen, I just put my dog in another room when I see her coming.........I didn't ask her to NOT walk by my house and threaten that I would talk to her husband if she didn't agree! I responded reasonably to a distraction caused by my neighbor and they can do the same thing.
A lot of our neighbors have basketball hoops and a lot of our neighbors that live nextdoor to one complain about it. Unfortunately, we just have to learn how to live as next door neighbors when that is the situation. No one is out to stop anyone from enjoying themselves on either side, but you catch more flies with honey "do you get MY drift?". And yes, we have a basketball hoop in our neighborhood, but ours is newer and better and certainly more convenient....period! So why do we have to drive or walk to a hoop when we have one? Again, we live here too!
THIRD:
I will probably be looking for other posts on how people respond to a resolve conflicts when your neighbor has a pool. Our family is big and growing and we just finished construction on a pool which means summer pool parties, grilling burgers and dogs, music, (not too loud, but within the parameters). It's crazy because I think our homes are a good enough distance apart, but I already know it is coming because, unfortunately for us, we might live next door to boring party poopers. Our neighbors on the other side of us and across the street have never said anything to us about the basketball or our pool construction project or ANYTHING ELSE and we have never said anything to them. We are all reasonable, so trust me, it is not us, it is the people that may be happier living in a retirement community! We are going to enjoy our home and our lives, we can't be bothered by party poopers!
Live and Let Live. ENJOY LIFE....HAVE FUN!
Good Night.
Wow....a study in sociopathology. The first post was just the tip of the iceberg.
Build some potholes in the road. A few well placed holes the size of a square foot or two by the method of your choice, should quickly deter anyone trying to bounce a basketball. LOL
Seriously, if the city or town where you live allows it, then you have little recourse unless you can prove the noise is really bad after the noise curfew that most areas have is in effect.
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