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I think what all respondents have failed to understand is that I didn't note the majority race in my hypothesis. Please do not make this thread about race, but please do make it a discussion about ethics.
There is no room for any negativity here. This is a positive discussion about how to deal with questions from people wishing to know about an area. What is the best?
My goodness, there's plenty of interracial couples in KY, even in small, rural towns. Plenty of gay people, too.
Nothing to worry about...I'd say people in the new town are going to be a lot like people in the old town......
I realize I'm not a native to your area up there, though I did grow up just across the line in West Virginia. I wanted to chime in on the above comment.
While there are "plenty" of mixed couples and even gay people all over the place these days in large cities and small towns alike, it still does not guarantee their acceptance in a particular area. I know that people don't like to name names in here, but I'll do so in order to illustrate my point, and just based on some observations I've made when I've traveled to these areas - see next:
I grew up in Charleston, WV. Very business and convention oriented. Somewhat conservative. There is *a little more* tolerance toward mixed couples there than there was when I was growing up around there, but pretty much no more tolerance towards gays now as there was 20 years ago. The exception perhaps being those who are in their teens now are a tiny bit better than their parents, since they grew up in a generation where they're used to seeing mixed couples and watching Will & Grace on tv, whereas my generation was completely non-exposed to even the thought of non-traditional folks in the media - even a sitcom. Go only 45 miles West to Huntington, WV however, where it's a slightly more arts & entertainment oriented city, and you'll find more tolerance toward mixed couples as well as gay people. Visibly so.
Again, I don't live in Kentucky, but have been there a bit and a good friend of mine here in Atlanta grew up there. Ok, go to Lexington for example, and you'll fine more of a mixture of residents than most outsiders would expect. Just from observations, I'd guess that there isn't a ton of tension with mixed race couples, foreign-born residents, or for that matter most gay people. Drive 15 miles to Winchester (where he's from) and at least everyone I've ever met from that area acts like if they could do it without getting caught, they'd still hang people from trees and burn them at the stakes. I'm sure there are plenty of open-minded there, too - it's just I've met some openly prejudice people from that town. So in WV 45 miles makes a huge difference in attitudes, and over there only 15 does so.
Remember young Ryan White? That boy who had AIDS a few years ago? His own home town made death threats against his family, neighbors hid their children when they saw him out in his yard, and parents wanted him quarantined from other students in school. His family moved him 50 or so miles away to another town where they embraced him and where he lived out the rest of his life without facing any more problems.
So I'd have to disagree with the statement earlier that people in the new town will be a lot like those in the old town. That may not be. It's well worth investigating "localized" attitudes if you are what some might call a non-traditional couple before moving there and/or setting up business there. Just my opinion.
If I were half of that couple, I'd want to know the truth. It's hard enough moving to a new city in the best of circumstances. If there were potential problems, I'd like to know and would take that into consideration when making a decision.
Now if I had been in your place, it would have been hard for me to tell them about the issues going on. I just hate to make people feel bad and wouldn't have wanted to hurt their feelings. However, in the long run, I would have been doing them a favor to let them know. I guess you could have said "this is what I've heard about the area." That way they are forewarned and it would now be in their hands.
It all depends on the rules imposed on your particular job. If there are certain things you cannot discuss with a client then you should be direct about that. If you aren't allowed to talk about a communities acceptance of anything in specific terms, let them know.
If I have limitations placed on me due to my career status I think it's only fair to divulge those to the individual asking the question. I'll tell them "I'm sorry, I have to remain neutral in discussing certain topics." I would think they would respect that and not feel uncomfortable. It's not like you're the only person in that community they can ask.
I would much rather a person be direct with me than beat around the bush. It's imperative to not feel uncomfortable with a person asking you a question and tell them WHY you can't answer their question. You aren't avoiding them, you are simply following the rules of engagement placed upon your profession.
I also live in western Kentucky, Marion -- to be precise, and I can attest to the fact that racism and homophobia are alive and well, here!
As someone else on this site has previously mentioned, the local newspaper is The Crittenden Press and in its weekly publication, there is the column that is written by Sister (Rev.) Lucy Tedrick, an extremely radical and blatantly racist and homophobic person. Under the guise of being a column based on religious views, Tedrick habitually posts attacks against Democrats and Liberals. Most often, Sister Lucy has not a problem with declaring any person that does not agree with her personal views are Atheists, God-haters, America-haters, and Child molesters.
Within one of her published writing, Tedrick suggested that all Jews are evildoers and are menaces to our Christian society. In another one, she suggested that Blacks are just Muslims and whiners. In another one, she states that no Atheists have ever contributed to the good of humanity. In another one she stated that President Obama was a “baby-killer”, non-born American, Atheist and Muslim … in the same article!, and attempted to influence people’s vote by warning us to remember, when we go into that booth to cast our votes, that “God is watching over your shoulder!”
Furthermore, Sister Lucy wrote in her column that Hurricane Katrina was God’s retribution on New Orleans because the city was going to allow a Gay Day Parade to occur. In addition, she has made similar statements of natural disasters regarding Earthquakes, Floods, Storms, and Fires, as being God’s retribution against the US for tolerating abortions, because of atheists, because of gays, because of prostitutes, because of people who drink alcohol and other totally bizarre and crazy crap!
And, yes, shame on the owner of The Crittenden Press newspaper for publishing Sister Lucy’s columns, when each is written with almost unimaginable degradations toward anyone that does not follow her particular beliefs.
Yes! Racism and Homophobia are alive and well in western Kentucky and they are propagandized through Civic and Religious leaders -- via the press.
Last edited by toy.tiger; 06-22-2010 at 10:51 AM..
Reason: spelling
Yes! Racism and Homophobia are alive and well in western Kentucky and they are propagandized through Civic and Religious leaders -- via the press.
You must remember that 99/100 of Catholic Priests never touched a child, that all the people who are members of Westboro Baptist Church are not Baptist or even Christian, and that Sister ___ represents only herself.
Do not condemn all Christians, nor all Jews, nor all anything because of one person freely expressing their faith. John the Baptist was certainly not very popular, nor was Martin Luther, John Wesly, or other people willing to rock the boat.
I am a Christian. You don't have to be, that's ok with me; however, if Sister ___ and the people of Westboro Baptist were honest and open, they would find that condemnation of people was not in Christ's m-o. Christ did however condemn behaviours and wrong doing, especially those that were self-distructive.
I have yet to find one Christian who regrets being a Christian. Think about it.
And, yes, shame on the owner of The Crittenden Press newspaper for publishing Sister Lucy’s columns, when each is written with almost unimaginable degradations toward anyone that does not follow her particular beliefs.
I guess they should've checked with you first? I'm sure you'd love it if they published a column that only followed YOUR particular beliefs.....
I gather you've never heard of free speech. We have it in the USA - or we have it for a while...I certainly don't agree with what YOU say she says (a link would help); on the other hand, she has the right to say what she wants, as long as it isn't slander and that's not a crime it's a civil action.
I understand your angst. Let me add that i'm from Marion as well, am gay and converted to Judiasm some years ago. I also read the Press weekly. That said - Sister Lucy while certainly less than enlightened (and I'll make no judgment as to her Christian Standing) is expressing her given right of free speech. I'm not entirely thrilled with it either as she bullies people into not allowing their free speech entirely as they fear retribution. I think this fear is unfounded however, as a lot more people from Marion understand compassion that you think. It's a good community and filled with people that care about their neighbors. Don't allow one person's opinion about others dictate your feelings about a whole region. We are all bigger than that. I would add that what troubles me the most about Sister Lucy's views is the damage she has done to lots of gay and on the edge youth. Sad - as I don't think her legacy will fare well with this spew of hate and mistrust, but then again, it's her legacy, not ours.
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Western Kentucky - Racism and Homophobia
tolerance
