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Old 05-04-2016, 06:47 AM
 
1 posts, read 600 times
Reputation: 10

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I really want an honest and open discussion regarding the below dilema I am in....so fire away!

I have been in a committed relationship with a man for over a year. Recently, while on a date I picked up his phone as he often does mine and opened his Facebook Messenger. There were multiple conversations on there with other women. Lots of joke pics sent back and forth, lol's, smiley faces, etc. He has a lot of female friends and I knew this and have not had a problem with it. However, one conversation in particular bothered me. Went like this with the female initiating the conversations: Boo...yikes! U skert me. lol...LOL, how are you?...I'm good. How u doing pretty lady?...getting by, blessed every day for sure. How's that boy?...He's in class right now lol. Ur baby doing good?...yep, studying hard. MCAP is next month...I just wanted to say hey, miss your chats... I miss you...well come for a visit on your bike...I haven't had it out any so far. LOL. I will though I promise...I will be waiting for that call...OK, nite sweet pie...night.

A few days go by with little joke pics being sent back and forth then this conversation. He sent a joke pic about no coffee and no use of the bird (middle finger)...she replied LOL I've had 3 coffees and no use of "the bird"!!! U having a rough day?...Y no. That was funny tho...It was. You still working way too much?...Yes. All wknd. I tired...I bet. I was wondering why you didn't do some porch sitting with me. Work, work, work ...LOL. u got a porch at your place...LOL no, I have a little covered deck. I live in a tiny apt now...so do I. I got a little covered back deck...I know.LOL.

Conversation continues about a friend of his finding a woman and she tells him about the relationship she just got out of because he was "over jealous" and wanted a momma for his 2 year old baby.

Earlier in the conversation he had sent a joke pic about going to the beach. She goes back to that and says. So, are you not taking me to the beach??? He replies...Nude beach. Conversation continues for a short time and ends with him saying gotta get back to work. lunch over. love u lil lady...she replies awww, love you too pal.

What are your thoughts on this conversation? Appropriate? Inappropriate? Parts not appropriate? Thanks for your input.
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Old 05-06-2016, 09:11 AM
 
11,033 posts, read 9,262,172 times
Reputation: 20305
Sounds like a jokey, flirty conversation that isn't likely to go farther than joking and mild flirtation. If your beau has a lot of woman friends, well, there's safety in numbers if they all know about each other and also know he's in a "committed relationship" with you. Now, if the "commitment" is largely on your side rather than his, my response would be different.

Have you met this woman? If so, nothing wrong with asking your boyfriend how she's getting along these days and seeing how he responds.

Also - stay off his phone, and keep your own phone to yourself.
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Old 05-06-2016, 03:22 PM
 
Location: Florida
4,985 posts, read 4,426,827 times
Reputation: 11073
Might be an issue .... might not be an issue.


Have a good pal in ky that I flirted with like this all the time. Hubby knew him. He was also married and I was friends with his wife, too. Our kids were in the same grade. We worked on school fundraising together so we knew each other pretty well. It meant nothing and was just fun.
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Old 05-06-2016, 06:13 PM
 
763 posts, read 542,055 times
Reputation: 1392
Honest opinion... stay out of his phone if you can't handle it. Which apparently you can't. You might share your concerns with him.
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Old 05-06-2016, 10:01 PM
 
8,427 posts, read 4,691,418 times
Reputation: 15651
Maybe you might want to talk to him about it(Keep in mind, he might be very mad, and feel that you have invaded his privacy.) It doesn't mean he is having an affair, sounds like a flirtation - which might mean something, but it may mean nothing. But, if it hurts you and bothers you then it might be worth a discussion. Your feelings are your feelings and they should matter.

Has he ever cheated on you before? Do you feel that you can trust him? Right now how do you feel - angry? upset? betrayed? or just suspicious? Are you going to come clean with him, on what you have found (Keep in mind, this may be not much of anything to him) and how it made you feel or are you going to keep spying on him? Just curious.

Hope you guys work it out.
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Old 05-06-2016, 10:04 PM
 
8,427 posts, read 4,691,418 times
Reputation: 15651
Oh, also you would probably get a lot more replies if you posted this in the relationship thread, instead of the Kentucky thread.
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Old 05-06-2016, 10:17 PM
 
Location: In the Pearl of the Purchase, Ky
8,244 posts, read 13,738,080 times
Reputation: 33934
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazee Cat Lady View Post
Oh, also you would probably get a lot more replies if you posted this in the relationship thread, instead of the Kentucky thread.
Was thinking the same thing.
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