Found It Extremely Difficult To Get Connected in NKY. What About you? (Walton: fit in)

[Americanguy06]

I was just curious and wanted to compare my notes with others that have lived in Northern Kentucky. My wife and I lived in Northern Kentucky for six years. We did all the things you are suppose to do to fit into an area and connect with the locals. We both got jobs and eventually bought a house. We settled down and tried to get involved in our local community. My wife would often have people over for dinner (particularly women), she was trying to get to know, but never was invited to their house in return.

In the years we lived there we found it extremely difficult to make friends. We were told from another couple from Arizona that if you are not from the area, you are going to have a very difficult time. They were also not able to make friends very easily. During and after our time living there, we eventually concluded that the majority of the people we met were just so unhappy. Anyway, we traveled around the state and didn't see that as much in other places. People in Southern KY were by far the most friendly, in our opinion.

We ended up having to leave the area because we were just so unhappy ourselves and couldn't connect. It has been one of the loneliest places we've ever lived. To be honest, we were really bummed. Even after living out of the country for two years and in three different states, Kentucky was by far the most beautiful place I have ever lived. I wanted so bad to fit in and make it home. Has anyone else experienced this same kind of thing? Moved to the area and unable to connect? I would love to hear your stories. God bless!

[WILWRadio]

I'm originally from Connecticut. I've been here over a year now. Too busy working out of town at this time to even spend any time trying to do anything outside of work and that will be the case for at least one more year. Have to make up for lost income and money draining problems over the last few years. No time for a social life.

I would say that my experiences with the people here has been OK for the most part. Much better than when I lived in Indianapolis. People there are too aggressive for my taste and they are over bearing and pushy. People here for the most part don't harass me or give me the problems I've had in places like Indy. New England for the most part is comprised of people that are more reserved or standoffish and NKY is a bit similar in that respect. But I would have to say it will be difficult to find real friends here should that need arise if you are not from the local area. Usually if I need to see friends or family, I make a road trip when I have the time and money which unfortunately may be a couple of times a year right now.

I'm still on the fence as far as whether I will stay here or relocate. My employer of 12 years wants to keep me but they are not located in this area. And a radio project I had planned for here is in jeopardy thanks to the money problems I've had the last few years. I may have to move to a place where I can start over and will have a legitimate chance to get the radio project to fly. In fact the problems I have had in Indy have negatively impacted me here including the money problems. Really ruined what I planned to do here.

I think the best way to meet people is by getting involved in local groups or develop hobbies that allow you to meet other people that share similar interests. Also, meeting people through friends or family is also ideal. Most of my friends I've known since I was in grade school or high school and I've only dated women (with one exception) that either I went with to school or met via mutual friends or family and all were in New England and one in Montreal, Quebec, Canada.

I've lived in eleven states now and all have areas with their own distinct culture and personality. You noted that with KY. Finding a place with more outsiders and a more outgoing culture may be in your best interest.

[KY_Transplant]

I lived in NKY for a couple years. It’s not bad but is way too connected to Cincinnati an I am no fan of Cincinnati area. NKY is not anything like the rest of Kentucky. Get down south of Walton and the culture, people and way of life changes rapidly. I have had no issues making friends in Central Kentucky. It also helps if you try to fit in. I am a transplant but have still not had any issues connecting with others, unlike my experiences in NKY. I attend a church, go to U.K. games and have met people through those avenues as well as work. I also make it a point to not complain about things in KY or ever compare them to where I moved from. I obviously moved to kY for a reason and love living here.

Kentucky is a beautiful and friendly State, please don’t let NKY be your only perception as they are hardly Kentuckians to begin with, more Northern in attitude and culture. Just my experiences.

[CraigCreek]

^^^ This is also my impression. I am a Kentuckian, but lived in Cincinnati for three years several decades ago.

Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky are culturally very similar - very conservative, rather stodgy, with outstanding parks and museums and concerts, but with some less than great public schools (some are outstanding, however), with people who are comfortable in their ruts and not particularly interested in changing.

When I lived there, many native Cincinnatians with deep roots in the area were polite enough to newcomers - outsiders, in their view - but were not very inclusive when it came to expanding social circles. Many people seemed to primarily socialize with their family members, including extended family. - aunts, uncles, cousins - on a weekly basis.

Minor workplace innovations were viewed with suspicion and often outright hostility by my first supervisor (who was very likely a sociopath, as she was dishonest, hateful to everyone and had had five people in my position in the previous three years, something I didn't know when I accepted the job).

Foodways were very different from what I was accustomed to - the German immigrant history of the area was still very apparent, with signs advertising brats and goetta in butcher shop windows, small privately owned bakeries in greater number than I'd seen elsewhere, and obvious German influences in home cooking when the one good friend I'd made invited me to their family home for Sunday dinner.

It was very common to be asked where I'd attended high school (I have a master's degree) by people who didn't immediately realize I was not from Cincinnati - school loyalties were very strong, and parochial schools seemed to outshine most of the public schools at the high school level. This extended attachment to a high school left long ago is not something I've experienced elsewhere.

Older people had the distinctive "Cincinnati accent", again, with German background very detectable.

Nothing wrong with the German heritage and traditions, of course - it was kinda cool to see all the remnants of it, in fact.

But the lack of openness to newcomers led to a great deal of loneliness, and I was happy to return to my home town after a few years.

I prefer more modestly sized cities to large northern industrial cities, and that was also a factor. I didn't like having to drive half an hour or more just to go to the movies, visit a museum or park, go downtown, etc. I found the many abandoned and vandalized 19th century dark brick industrial buildings - factories and row houses - depressing to the max. Ditto the air pollution from Procter and Gamble (now cleaned up, thankfully). It felt like a very cold place to live.

I did have a very nice apartment, with lots of wooded grounds, and that was a haven. I found some nearby weekend activities I enjoyed, and that also helped. Eventually I transferred to another location with a sane manager and staff, and that was a huge relief. But it wasn't home. Ever.

Lots of non-natives have moved into Northern Kentucky in recent years, and the area is somewhat less like the very traditional Cincinnati than was once the case. I hope that means that people are becoming more open and friendly, but can't comment on that as I no longer live in or spend much time in the area.

Cincinnati, though just two hours away, wasn't the place for me, and although I am glad I had the experience of living there, have never regretting moving back to my hometown.