Looking to move - is it important to be part of a local church for kids to socialize? (Knoxville: fit in, how much)

[quantlity]

Hello all, We are considering Farragut and surrounding areas to relocate and hopefully retire some day. We are planning a trip early next year to check out the neighborhoods. I have read through some of the past threads to get an idea of areas that fit our criteria but I was not able to find the answer to this questions - Would a non-religious secular family be able to find play dates for children and build relationships if they are not part of a local church?

About us: we are early 40s and have lived in suburbs of Atlanta, Austin, San Francisco, Miami, Seattle metro areas and have three kids in the 5-15 age range. Our kids are mixed (asian and white) and we not a religious family but culturally celebrate christmas, easter, diwali, halloween, and other festivals and holidays. We are secular, socially liberal and fiscally conservative. We live in a high cost of living area of Seattle and are looking to move to a low cost of living area with sunnier weather and the best schools in the state. Our home budget is 500K-900K. We will have remote STEM related jobs and are looking for a dependable internet with high speed to work from home.

We have always lived in a diverse area and understand that comparatively...Farragut and surrounding areas are less diverse (in terms of race), lean conservative, and more religious. These factors are fine for us and we don't generally discuss these topics with neighbors and friends. What I would like to know from the local residents is would our kids be ostracized by classmates or neighbors, for not being part of a local church? How important is it be part of a church to socialize in the community? I would really appreciate any insight on this as I don't think we will get this information during our trip.

Thank you.

[Barking Spider]

Kids going to school may go to different churches, so its not always apparent if they go to church or not. We go to a church that's located in Farragut. We live in Karns and our daughter went to all of the Karns schools. In her youth group at church, there were students that went to Karns, Farragut, Beardon, West, and Hardin Valley.

I don't think that you or your kids will be judged by what church you attend, or even if you do. Its not that big of a deal.
That said, my daughter really enjoyed her youth group at church. She participated because it was her choice, we didn't push her. Many of her current friends (she is 33 now) are from her youth group and not necessarily from school.

They should do what they want to do.

[quantlity]

Thank you for the insight.
We have some extended family members who remember their church youth group fondly as well. In their experience, most children formed close friendships through church social events and most of the local population went to church. I was wondering if our family would be able to fit in and if our kids would be form friendships especially if we were not part of any local churches.

[CrosbyStills]

I don't know if you will be happy in East Tennessee being socially liberal. The racial and religious makeup of your family is irrelevant, but your voting patterns may be. Making E. TN look like the place you are fleeing by continuing your voting patterns will not be particularly welcome by some. There's a saying about sleeping in the bed you made.

FWIW - we are a mixed race yankee family also, so I am just reporting my firsthand observations being in a similar situation.

[DubbleT]

Originally Posted by CrosbyStills

I don't know if you will be happy in East Tennessee being socially liberal. The racial and religious makeup of your family is irrelevant, but your voting patterns may be. Making E. TN look like the place you are fleeing by continuing your voting patterns will not be particularly welcome by some. There's a saying about sleeping in the bed you made.

FWIW - we are a mixed race yankee family also, so I am just reporting my firsthand observations being in a similar situation.

And how does anyone know how someone else votes unless they make a big production of it? There's no sign along the state lines saying people are only welcome if they vote deep red.

[CrosbyStills]

Originally Posted by DubbleT

And how does anyone know how someone else votes unless they make a big production of it? There's no sign along the state lines saying people are only welcome if they vote deep red.

Lol, people know. What do you think all those subtle questions are about when meeting people? They're doing the slow dance to figure out if you think like they think.

Trust me, many play that game with me when we are just meeting or newly-made acquaintances. They are looking at bumper stickers, clothing brands, hobbies, etc. Do I hunt or fish? Do I go boating? Do I have hiking stickers on my Subaru? Am I wearing Wranglers or Levi's? Is my jacket Carhart or Patagonia? Am I driving an F150 or a Prius? All subtle indications to determine if I am like them. Heck, even my barber tried to subtly ask me if I have any guns when he found out what blue state I used to live in.

[danielj72]

Originally Posted by CrosbyStills

Lol, people know. What do you think all those subtle questions are about when meeting people? They're doing the slow dance to figure out if you think like they think.

Trust me, many play that game with me when we are just meeting or newly-made acquaintances. They are looking at bumper stickers, clothing brands, hobbies, etc. Do I hunt or fish? Do I go boating? Do I have hiking stickers on my Subaru? Am I wearing Wranglers or Levi's? Is my jacket Carhart or Patagonia? Am I driving an F150 or a Prius? All subtle indications to determine if I am like them. Heck, even my barber tried to subtly ask me if I have any guns when he found out what blue state I used to live in.

LOL I drive an F150, wear jeans, own guns, hunt and I am very conservative. I also like to hike. I suppose my hiking habit does not fit the rest of my lifestyle.

I agree with the sentiment that a hard core liberal family will not enjoy Tennessee life. I also agree with you that everyone can tell where you stand by many of the products you use, the things you say and the hobbies you have. Our country is very divided and unfortunately ones political views matter to a lot of people. If I were to post in the Seattle forum that I was a conservative Tennessean looking for a new Pacific Northwest life I am sure they would tell me that I would not fit in there and they would be right. It is a sad state of affairs how much this matters but it does.

[LauraC]

Originally Posted by danielj72

LOL I drive an F150, wear jeans, own guns, hunt and I am very conservative. I also like to hike. I suppose my hiking habit does not fit the rest of my lifestyle.

I agree with the sentiment that a hard core liberal family will not enjoy Tennessee life. I also agree with you that everyone can tell where you stand by many of the products you use, the things you say and the hobbies you have. Our country is very divided and unfortunately ones political views matter to a lot of people. If I were to post in the Seattle forum that I was a conservative Tennessean looking for a new Pacific Northwest life I am sure they would tell me that I would not fit in there and they would be right. It is a sad state of affairs how much this matters but it does.

I agree. If the OP must live in TN, choose to look at Nashville suburbs.

[DaveinMtAiry]

Seeing this thread makes me glad we decided to stay in Maryland. It wasn't like this a few years ago, obviously the climate around the country is different now. I don't want be judged and seen as an outcast simply because I believed in the risks of COVID and because I do not believe the election was stolen.

[Serious Conversation]

Church is the center of social life throughout most of small town, rural, and suburban TN. There are pockets of more liberal thought - largely centered around universities or city cores, but those are relatively small and politically not that powerful.

I’m middle of the road politically. Voted for Trump in 2016, Biden last year. Typically vote Republican, but do vote for Dems here and there. I’m agnostic, bordering on atheist.

You really have to make an effort to find a tribe outside of church. Like-minded people are there, especially in a large-ish metro like Knoxville, but it’s not always easily visible where to find them.