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Old 08-31-2010, 03:30 PM
 
Location: Somewhere.
10,481 posts, read 25,196,884 times
Reputation: 9115

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Quote:
Originally Posted by las vegas drunk View Post
JFK,

I am sorry, but you are just kicking a man when he is down. Aqualung wants to work and is desperately looking for it. What is he supposed to do if no one will hire him within 3 months? I personally think family does have a responsibility to help, so I differ with you here. My own family let me fall all the way down to being homeless. Maybe that is why I refuse to talk them ever again.
Just because someone has a family, it is NOT the family's responsibility to keep helping their family members. Growing up, we all had to be out by 18 and make our own lives. Most of us did this, but some keep going back over and over again. I am sure once my Mom dies, they won't know what to do.

In some cultures, family all lives together and everyone does their fair share. Talk about a crowded household.
LVD, your family had nothing to do with you being homeless. It's all about choices. Quit blaming others when you make bad choices. And that goes for others too.

 
Old 08-31-2010, 03:33 PM
 
3,622 posts, read 5,575,603 times
Reputation: 4322
Quote:
Originally Posted by aqualung8705 View Post
They have done some things for me, but they always have a full symphony accompanying them when they do. I've "loaned" them money many times, even when I barely had it myself. If I even ask for a dollar of it back, my sister yells at me that they don't have it, and that they have bills to pay. Don't I count as one of their bills?
Not knowing your medical condition it's hard for me to judge your difficulties. However, watching my father in law go through terminal brain cancer, and my mother in law go through Lou Gehrigs disease (also fatal) I highly disagree that you are your sisters responsibility. I watched them, under tough circumstances, get up every morning, do their duties without expecting someone to take care of them. (Of course at the end it was necessary for the both of them.)

I gather you are in a much, much better situation than my mother in law who lost all ability to walk, talk and eat. Still, she would get up and do things online at home. I'm not trying to be harsh but we are all mortal, we ALL have issues whether it be health/financial. So, if you can get out of bed and get dressed what excuse do you have? If you can spend time online chatting you can fill online applications. Don't blame your sister and brother in law. They are giving you a chance to have it easier while you find a job. It could be worse.
 
Old 08-31-2010, 03:41 PM
 
10,494 posts, read 27,124,829 times
Reputation: 6716
Quote:
Originally Posted by aqualung8705 View Post

I'm seriously thinking about cutting all ties with them when I leave.
Back in early 2005 I left Vegas as I failed here. I had less than $100 and I was kicked out of where I was living. I had no choice but to go back to Phoenix. When I arrived in Phoenix, I IMMEDIATELY got a job putting in over 60 hours a week. It was a job taking care of disabled people so I needed a place to live so I could be clean. I begged my sister and her husband to stay with them and promised to leave in a month. They refused. I ended up living in the back of my car and washing up in store bathrooms. When she did this she was no longer family IMO. I ended up getting a room to rent after a month in Phoenix but it was hell for the time being. Aqualung, I would not talk to either of them as they are both pieces of garbage IMO for belittling you and treating you like dirt. My own sister has done the same to me all my life. The funny thing is not to long ago she emailed me telling me she was in terrible position and wanted to know if I could give her a loan (I easily could). You can guess what my answer was.
 
Old 08-31-2010, 03:54 PM
 
10,494 posts, read 27,124,829 times
Reputation: 6716
Quote:
Originally Posted by lyra33 View Post
Not knowing your medical condition it's hard for me to judge your difficulties.
I am Aqualung's friend, so I will not reveal what is medical problem is. What I will say is it will make it very hard for him to keep a job. It is not his fault, but it makes it hard to be around him.
 
Old 08-31-2010, 03:56 PM
 
10,494 posts, read 27,124,829 times
Reputation: 6716
Quote:
Originally Posted by PinkString View Post
Just because someone has a family, it is NOT the family's responsibility to keep helping their family members. Growing up, we all had to be out by 18 and make our own lives. Most of us did this, but some keep going back over and over again. I am sure once my Mom dies, they won't know what to do.

In some cultures, family all lives together and everyone does their fair share. Talk about a crowded household.
LVD, your family had nothing to do with you being homeless. It's all about choices. Quit blaming others when you make bad choices. And that goes for others too.
I guess I am in the minority since no one agrees with me with the exception of Aqualung.
 
Old 08-31-2010, 04:15 PM
 
3,622 posts, read 5,575,603 times
Reputation: 4322
Quote:
Originally Posted by las vegas drunk View Post
I am Aqualung's friend, so I will not reveal what is medical problem is. What I will say is it will make it very hard for him to keep a job. It is not his fault, but it makes it hard to be around him.
I am not asking for that info I was just showing that I can't really judge since I do not know. However, I do not understand him not being grateful that his sister is taking him in. She could have said no. Mean or not they are helping him.
 
Old 08-31-2010, 04:23 PM
 
3,622 posts, read 5,575,603 times
Reputation: 4322
Quote:
Originally Posted by las vegas drunk View Post
Both my parents have passed away, but I still have my sister (who refused to take me in when I needed it). To me, family is blood, and should help out other family members as needed. My own father kicked me out in the middle of summer when it was 115 degrees outside and I DID have a job. I swore that I would not be like him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by las vegas drunk View Post
My own sister has done the same to me all my life. The funny thing is not to long ago she emailed me telling me she was in terrible position and wanted to know if I could give her a loan (I easily could). You can guess what my answer was.
What about family is blood and should help out? Just sayin...
 
Old 08-31-2010, 04:43 PM
 
10,494 posts, read 27,124,829 times
Reputation: 6716
Quote:
Originally Posted by lyra33 View Post
What about family is blood and should help out? Just sayin...
She had already burned me pretty bad that is why I did what I did. Needless to say, I would have definitely have helped her out if she had done the same earlier. Unfortunately, my own family is not a model of my own beliefs.
 
Old 08-31-2010, 05:28 PM
 
2,036 posts, read 4,229,768 times
Reputation: 3201
I am one part angry that spite and pity seem to have a monopoly in the conversation around here these days. I am otherwise compassionate to the effects of depression and how a physical condition, coupled with self loathing and medicating, can create a pretty nasty feedback loop that only serves to reinforce the hurt and pain.

So I will continue to pray, angrily about what is not fair and what seems so easy to diagnose from the outside looking in. I also pray that people who need strength have it. Not everyone can comprehend what its like to hurt like that. I'd also like to kick a few butts (not literally, just figuratively)
 
Old 08-31-2010, 07:18 PM
 
3,622 posts, read 5,575,603 times
Reputation: 4322
So, who is enjoying the weather?
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