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Best wishes to you. It really is up to the first wife. I feel for you. I lived with a boyfriend who married someone else while were still living together.. just awful. I feel for you.
Am I correct that your biggest problem with this issue here is that you have taken his name and now cannot change it back without divorce/annulment/proof that the marriage was not valid? I do feel sorry for you. Maybe check public records where he was married to first wife and see if you can get copy of proof of the first marriage to show that your marriage was never valid. Technically your marriage was never legal and if you can show this you should be able to get your maiden name back. I applaud you for wanting to protect the feelings of his ill first and current wife but at the same time doesn't she deserve to know what kind of man she is married to? Doesn't she deserve the chance to decide for herself if this indescretion with you is worth whatever she is going to go through? IMHO, file the papers in Clark County for annullment, have them served to his marital home and let him deal with the reprocussions of what he did. Let him explain to his wife what he has done to her and to you. In trying to "protect her" you are really protecting him. Again I am reminded how lucky I am to have such a wonderful man that I know I do not deserve. I'm off to go kiss my husband and tell him I love him.
If I understand you correctly you both live in the UK and and both are citizens of the UK. I believe that means you come under the marriage laws of the UK no matter where you were married. I was married in Mexico. If we ever got a divorce we wouldn't have to go to Mexico, we'd just get it here. You need a lawyer that knows British law. He wouldn't have to fly to the U.S, to do anything. The whole thing should be able to be taken care of there in the UK. They have judges over there, and they have faxes, and email, and telephones. He is breaking British law if what you say is true. Let the Brits handle him. And the crime is against both you and the first wife. You can't just assume that you aren't legally married and go on about your business. What if you want to marry again? Then YOU might be accused of bigamy. In this country a woman would ask the judge to make the husband pay her legal fees. Probably the same over there since our system is based on yours.
If I understand you correctly you both live in the UK and and both are citizens of the UK. I believe that means you come under the marriage laws of the UK no matter where you were married. I was married in Mexico. If we ever got a divorce we wouldn't have to go to Mexico, we'd just get it here. You need a lawyer that knows British law. He wouldn't have to fly to the U.S, to do anything. The whole thing should be able to be taken care of there in the UK. They have judges over there, and they have faxes, and email, and telephones. He is breaking British law if what you say is true. Let the Brits handle him. And the crime is against both you and the first wife. You can't just assume that you aren't legally married and go on about your business. What if you want to marry again? Then YOU might be accused of bigamy. In this country a woman would ask the judge to make the husband pay her legal fees. Probably the same over there since our system is based on yours.
Buzz...I hadn't thought about her wanting to marry again and being accused of bigamy herself. Poor girl really needs to get this cleared up ASAP.
Many thanks for the replies regarding the poor speciman of a man I had the misfortune to marry! UK law does certainly cover this case, but UK police have such a lax attitude to it: he would get off with just a slap on the wrist and a fine of £1000.
Still, never mind - thanks again for your replies: found them all very helpful - especially the link to Clark County, and yes, maybe I ought to consider getting papers served at his marital home, for as you say, maybe the first wife has a right to know. But I really don't think I can do this - she is very ill after all. Besides one of the last things the arsehole said to me was that if I ever told her, well, he threatened me with violence.....
Anyway, I shalll sort it out eventually! And no - will never get married again! Took me 45 years to do it once, and hey, look what a success that has been! LOL!
Thanks again everyone for all your imput. Really appreciated.
Many thanks for the replies regarding the poor speciman of a man I had the misfortune to marry! UK law does certainly cover this case, but UK police have such a lax attitude to it: he would get off with just a slap on the wrist and a fine of £1000.
Still, never mind - thanks again for your replies: found them all very helpful - especially the link to Clark County, and yes, maybe I ought to consider getting papers served at his marital home, for as you say, maybe the first wife has a right to know. But I really don't think I can do this - she is very ill after all. Besides one of the last things the arsehole said to me was that if I ever told her, well, he threatened me with violence.....
Anyway, I shalll sort it out eventually! And no - will never get married again! Took me 45 years to do it once, and hey, look what a success that has been! LOL!
Thanks again everyone for all your imput. Really appreciated.
Bye Bye from a very windy UK at the mo!!!!
The other wife does have a right to know. Wouldn't you want to know if it was you? How do you know she is ill? Did he tell you that? We know how much you can believe him now don't we? So he gets off a little easy. It's not the same as murder is it? But at least you'd get your life back.
The other wife does have a right to know. Wouldn't you want to know if it was you? How do you know she is ill? Did he tell you that? We know how much you can believe him now don't we? So he gets off a little easy. It's not the same as murder is it? But at least you'd get your life back.
and MAYBE, with luck, he'll get to spend a few months in Canterbury Prison
Possibly he doesn't want the wife to know because he won't get anything if she divorces him or if she is that ill, he may be afraid that she will adjust her will. Sad, but a thought.
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Quote:
Moderator Interpose from scirocco22:
I want to remind all you kind folks that City-Data is a forum focused on discussing relocation issues. The local state forums and city sub-forums should be discussing topics specifically related to relocation.
The symbiotic relationship between those who are considering moving to Vegas or have recently moved to the area and those who have been here for years, makes this forum attractive because of the give and take. New members seeking information or members who might be new to the area benefit by the information and feedback given by area locals who know the area well.
Its main purpose is to give information. It is not intended to be a chat room. In fact, there is specific language in our T.O.S. where the Administrator states that “This is not a chat room.”
I realize that many of you have formed friendships and meet for group get-togethers. However, we have to be cognizant of the main purpose of this forum. Threads in the local forums ideally should be linear and trimmed so that new members doing a search for a specific topic don’t have to wade through a multitude of chit-chatty posts to find the information they desire.
The other hindrance that a lot of chit-chat creates is that brand new members sometimes feel left out of the conversation because it appears that everybody knows everybody else. Sometimes this chit-chat goes out on a tangent in the middle of a thread and a newcomer sometimes feel that they don't belong. I've heard that from more than one new member.
So, with that said, let’s keep all off-topic and chat conversations that don’t have to do anything with RELOCATION ISSUES in one sticky thread. Topics such as why a certain member has not posted in awhile or discussing why a local news anchor ended up in jail should be posted in the chat thread. Let’s keep the main forum focused on issues pertaining to relocation or visitor information.
Remember, you can also use your Profile Visitor Message board for conversations with friends. And, creating a social group is another good alternative. I highly recommend using this as an alternative to the chat thread. You can also take advantage of the personal blog you can establish here at City-Data forums for rants, raves, and personal discussions. Again, we should endeavor to keep our main message board on-topic and free a lot of chit-chat. Not that a few lighthearted remarks won’t be allowed but let’s try to keep the off-topic conversations to a minimum in the main forum and keep it in the sticky chat thread.
Thank you and have fun.
--'rocco
Who scared radraja and massagemamma away?
Last edited by scirocco22; 09-23-2008 at 09:40 PM..
I want to remind all you kind folks that City-Data is a forum focused on discussing relocation issues. The local state forums and city sub-forums should be discussing topics specifically related to relocation.
The symbiotic relationship between those who are considering moving to Vegas or have recently moved to the area and those who have been here for years, makes this forum attractive because of the give and take. New members seeking information or members who might be new to the area benefit by the information and feedback given by area locals who know the area well.
Its main purpose is to give information. It is not intended to be a chat room. In fact, there is specific language in our T.O.S. where the Administrator states that “This is not a chat room.”
I realize that many of you have formed friendships and meet for group get-togethers. However, we have to be cognizant of the main purpose of this forum. Threads in the local forums ideally should be linear and trimmed so that new members doing a search for a specific topic don’t have to wade through a multitude of chit-chatty posts to find the information they desire.
The other hindrance that a lot of chit-chat creates is that brand new members sometimes feel left out of the conversation because it appears that everybody knows everybody else. Sometimes this chit-chat goes out on a tangent in the middle of a thread and a newcomer sometimes feel that they don't belong. I've heard that from more than one new member.
So, with that said, let’s keep all off-topic and chat conversations that don’t have to do anything with RELOCATION ISSUES in one sticky thread. Topics such as why a certain member has not posted in awhile or discussing why a local news anchor ended up in jail should be posted in the chat thread. Let’s keep the main forum focused on issues pertaining to relocation or visitor information.
Remember, you can also use your Profile Visitor Message board for conversations with friends. And, creating a social group is another good alternative. I highly recommend using this as an alternative to the chat thread. You can also take advantage of the personal blog you can establish here at City-Data forums for rants, raves, and personal discussions. Again, we should endeavor to keep our main message board on-topic and free a lot of chit-chat. Not that a few lighthearted remarks won’t be allowed but let’s try to keep the off-topic conversations to a minimum in the main forum.
Thank you and have fun.
Last edited by scirocco22; 09-20-2008 at 04:53 PM..
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many thanks to all who have replied!
