[jfkIII]

Originally Posted by aqualung8705

They keep saying that the love me, but it seems like that all they do is rag on me. No questions into how I'm feeling.

Sounds as if they are doing the "tough love" approach... http://www.helpyourteens.com/tough_love.php

At 45 years old, they are probably looking at it as a last chance for you...either you are going to start to make it on your own...or you're destined to stay this same course in life, and nothing more can be done. Often, parents use this approach with their 20-something year old child who refuses to get a job and take responsibility for what happens in their life.

Your sister is giving you 3 months to get your act together. Don't waste her generosity. Get yourself a job(s), like Davie did, and use whatever money you earn wisely and to set yourself up on a road to independence. At 45, you are way behind the perverbial 8-ball...which means you will have to work even harder to overcome the obstacles to independence. But it has been done successfully. In the end, one can only count on theirself to do this.

Good luck...and get working on it. It may be your last chance.

[jfkIII]

Originally Posted by aqualung8705

My brother in law is an a$$hole, which he freely admits, and even is proud of. I pay for my own food, and use minimal amounts of their resources. Am I grateful for their help? Very. Would I leave if I had the chance? I'd break the sound barrier.

Please keep in mind that the a$$hole and his wife (your sister) have offered you an option to living on the street and keeping your beloved ace from belonging to another family or on doggie death row. If it's such hell, I'm sure they won't hold you back from leaving.

Believe it or not, it takes a lot of work to make a successful marriage...and adding in a third adult to the household (whether it it be a returning adult child, an elderly parent, or a 45-year old unemployed sibling) adds a tremendous amount of stress, even to a perfect marriage. You owe it to them to be out of there and on your own...and they are very generous, IMO, to be giving you 3 months to do it. Use that time wisely.

[las vegas drunk]

Originally Posted by jfkIII

Please keep in mind that the a$$hole and his wife (your sister) have offered you an option to living on the street and ace belonging to another family or on doggie death row.

Believe it or not, it takes a lot of work to make a successful marriage...and adding in a third adult to the household (whether it it be a returning adult child, an elderly parent, or a 45-year old unemployed sibling) adds a tremendous amount of stress, even to a perfect marriage. You owe it to them to be out of there and on your own...and they are very generous, IMO, to be giving you 3 months to do it. Use that time wisely.

You have to remember that Aqualung generously gave his sister and her husband $6,000 of his inheritance so they feel obligated to help him. I have a feeling that if he didn't, they would be like my sister and tell him to go to hell when he asked to move in with them. From what I know, his sister does not want Aqualung there, and Aqualung does not want to be there either. I have a feeling he will not last very long in this situation because of the inherent tension. I hope he gets on his feet VERY soon.

[jfkIII]

Originally Posted by las vegas drunk

You have to remember that Aqualung generously gave his sister and her husband $6,000 of his inheritance so they feel obligated to help him. I have a feeling that if he didn't, they would be like my sister and tell him to go to hell when he asked to move in with them. From what I know, his sister does not want Aqualung there, and Aqualung does not want to be there either. I have a feeling he will not last very long in this situation because of the inherent tension. I hope he gets on his feet VERY soon.

Was the $6,000 given as a gift...with no strings attached, in the true definition of a gift? Or was it given as a pre-payment for future favors, to be cashed in at Aqua's convenience? Maybe Aqua's mother left it all to him for taking care of her...and he decided to share, since it was both their mother.

Too much is unknown about the $6000...but it sounds like it came with many strings attached. I just hope sis and a$$hole were aware of all the strings before they accepted the "gift."

[las vegas drunk]

Originally Posted by jfkIII

Was the $6,000 given as a gift...with no strings attached, in the true definition of a gift? Or was it given as a pre-payment for future favors, to be cashed in at Aqua's convenience? Maybe Aqua's mother left it all to him for taking care of her...and he decided to share, since it was both their mother.

Too much is unknown about the $6000...but it sounds like it came with many strings attached. I just hope sis and a$$hole were aware of all the strings before they accepted the "gift."

I honestly have no idea, Aqualung will have to answer that one.

[aqualung8705]

It was entirely a gift. At the time I received the settlement from California Workers Compensation for taking care of my disabled mother, things were starting to look up. Then some bad things happened, and I find myself in my current situation. I will get back on my feet, it's just going to be rough, and take some time.

If anyone here cares to label me a loser, so be it. Nothing I say or do will change you mind.

[las vegas drunk]

Originally Posted by aqualung8705

If anyone here cares to label me a loser, so be it. Nothing I say or do will change you mind.

I was not in any way saying that at all. I was only referring to the situation with your sister. You have a good heart full of love, and that my friend makes you NOT a loser no matter what anyone says.

[jfkIII]

Who gives a flying &*^% what I think...my intent is to get you to think about things going forward so that you don't keep ending up in these lousy predicaments.

When you received that settlement money, you ran out and bought an almost-new truck. You also paid some money to your sister and bought other things (blackberry?). From what I remember, it was a sizeable chunk of money...somewhere near $20K? What do you now have to show for all that money? Instead of short-termed "living on the hog," you should have put that money to good use, setting yourself for independent living. You could have bought a trailer with that money, and been living with your beloved dogs right now.

At the time, I remember many regulars on this board...still regulars today...trying to help you out with good advice about what to do with that money. Very few, if any, were in support of the monster truck purchase. They thought there were more important uses for that money. I remember...one-by-one, you dismantled each and every suggestion with some pretty obscure reasoning.

But hey 20/20 is hindsight, right? Looking back, what did you learn from all that? If you got a job today, and started working, your priority should not be to get your masonic ring out of hock...but rather to establish your own place to live. Once you have that, you work on getting the dogs back, getting back on your medications, some transportation, and then maybe then the ring, if it's still there. But right now, that ring will not get you anywhere that you need to be in life...unless your masonic brothers are willing to help you out.

It's called survival mode.

[Chickrae]

Originally Posted by las vegas drunk

It is really hot now. It hit 113 yesterday. I am scared to drive to work tomorrow.

I would be scared too. St. George is hot enough~

[PinkString]

It started out as a regular boring day...then I had to get something from the store earlier this evening and as we were leaving, noticed there were 2 security vehicles and 3 cop cars down the street. Heard more sirens and more cops showed up. So we went around the block to get out of the gate, and passed by the "action" and noticed a guy walking backwards in the street as the security and cops walked towards him. Something different about the guy, he was naked! lol I thought that's something i haven't seen yet. Apparently he went to the pool, took off all his clothes and then scared the heck out of the kids! in the pool and an adult in the pool area saw him and then called security and the cops.
We went to the store, and while coming back, a few more cops sped by in the direction of our neighborhood with sirens blaring. By the end of it, there were 7 police cars, 1 fire and rescue truck and 1 ambulance to take the naked guy to the psychiatric ward.