[las vegas drunk]

Originally Posted by jjameson922

I hope you're doing good LVD. You haven't shared much about what is going on with you lately?

I am doing terrible. I canceled my appointment with the doctor and told them I no longer want to be on the program. I quit taking my meds and started drinking more than ever. I am ready to quit my job to as I have completely given up.

[jjameson922]

LVD, I am so sad to hear that. Can I ask one question? Why?

And Pink, I know these times are hard. I feel you have what it takes to survive and work through these things. I've been thru the economic hurdles so many times in my past. And like you, no one really knew it. My husband would just up and quit a job and even though we lived in a beautiful home and seemed to be on easy street, I would be inside doing the math because the little that was coming in was not enough to cover fixed expenses. Nothing though ever seems to stay forever.

[las vegas drunk]

Originally Posted by jjameson922

LVD, I am so sad to hear that. Can I ask one question? Why?

Because I just cannot take it anymore. The pain is horrendous and I am having to deal with all my hair falling out. I think Pink is right that juicing could possibly help me, but when I looked into it, it would be very expensive and I just cannot afford it. Just to get the right blender is $400 alone, then it requires lots of fruits and vegetables which will also be expensive. Now at work they turned the ac from 73 to 79 and locked the thermostats so we cannot change it. I do not know what the hell they were thinking as it is hot and uncomfortable in here now. I am going to have to quit now because of this as it is adding to my frustrations.

[tazz]

Originally Posted by las vegas drunk

Because I just cannot take it anymore. The pain is horrendous and I am having to deal with all my hair falling out. I think Pink is right that juicing could possibly help me, but when I looked into it, it would be very expensive and I just cannot afford it. Just to get the right blender is $400 alone, then it requires lots of fruits and vegetables which will also be expensive. Now at work they turned the ac from 73 to 79 and locked the thermostats so we cannot change it. I do not know what the hell they were thinking as it is hot and uncomfortable in here now. I am going to have to quit now because of this as it is adding to my frustrations.

We are going to miss you. You are a generous and worthwhile human being.
Just out of curiosity, who do you think is more suicidal, you or Aqua?

[las vegas drunk]

Originally Posted by tazz

We are going to miss you. You are a generous and worthwhile human being.
Just out of curiosity, who do you think is more suicidal, you or Aqua?

Thanks for the kind words. To answer your question, definitely me. Aqualung and I talked about suicide before when he lived with me. He is religious and assured me he would never take his own life no matter what happens. I on the other hand have been hospitalized twice for suicide attempts. Both times they saved me by pumping my stomach, but I have lifetime organ damage because of it. Coincidentally, my mother did the same thing. She was also hospitalized twice for the suicide attempts. I guess the apple doesn't fall very far from the tree.

[tazz]

Originally Posted by las vegas drunk

Thanks for the kind words. To answer your question, definitely me. Aqualung and I talked about suicide before when he lived with me. He is religious and assured me he would never take his own life no matter what happens. I on the other hand have been hospitalized twice for suicide attempts. Both times they saved me by pumping my stomach, but I have lifetime organ damage because of it. Coincidentally, my mother did the same thing. She was also hospitalized twice for the suicide attempts. I guess the apple doesn't fall very far from the tree.

Untreated depression can run in families as well. I hope that you find some comfort from your personal devils in your remaining days.

Even if you continue to drink, I suggest that you start attending AA meetings. The Friends of Bill are very understanding and supportive no matter what phase of sobriety you are in, even if you are loaded when you attend. There is no shame. Just people who've been there, done that.

[las vegas drunk]

Originally Posted by tazz

I hope that you find some comfort from your personal devils in your remaining days.

I am not saying I am going to kill myself. I am totally undecided on what to do anymore. I would rather just die like that guy in the Leaving Las Vegas movie. I am already pretty close to the end already with my liver damage. I am just really upset right now that they are making me quit my job. It is so freaking hot in here that it is taking everything I got to not walk off my shift. I almost did it. I am going to talk to my boss when I see him on Tuesday. If they will not turn the AC back down I am out of here.

[StaggerLee22]

Well..... so long Las Vegas, hello NYC
It was a nice 2 weeks in my new house in Henderson

90 days or so and I can call this town my new home.

Damn----I hate leaving this place.

[PinkString]

Originally Posted by las vegas drunk

Because I just cannot take it anymore. The pain is horrendous and I am having to deal with all my hair falling out. I think Pink is right that juicing could possibly help me, but when I looked into it, it would be very expensive and I just cannot afford it. Just to get the right blender is $400 alone, then it requires lots of fruits and vegetables which will also be expensive. Now at work they turned the ac from 73 to 79 and locked the thermostats so we cannot change it. I do not know what the hell they were thinking as it is hot and uncomfortable in here now. I am going to have to quit now because of this as it is adding to my frustrations.

Look, you can get an Oster or Cuisinart blender. They don't cost that much. A green smoothie is just a fruit smoothie with some greens added, like spinach, or kale, or romaine lettuce,etc. It is NOT expensive to make these things. If it were, I couldn't do it. Money is tight if there is any at all.

I really wish you wouldn't give up. We were all hoping it would all work out for you. Why do you keep giving up? Why? Be strong and make a stand and tell the alcohol to shove it. Then dump it and go into rehab if you have to so you can kick it once and for all.
An addiction that strong is hard to do all by yourself. I think that addiction is stronger than cigarettes. I kicked the cigarette addiction as well, and it was terrible, the withdrawal. It's good when you succeed though.

[PinkString]

Quitting because it's a little warm is not a good reason to quit. Get a personal oscillating fan. They are cheap, and you can get a nice new one for about $10. You can get a floor one for about $20.
Quit the giving up stuff. Lay off the booze and make it a challenge to totally quit the poison. Like someone else said, go to AA meetings, and like I said, check yourself into rehab.