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I’m an early 40’s single-female returning to Lexington after living this past year in a city with a more-developed social network for the older singles. Prior to this year away, I lived in Lexington my whole teen and adult life. I left last year (temporarily) without feeling like there was much of a network for older singles in Lexington. After seeing what is available elsewhere, I’m NOT looking forward to returning to the social scene in Lexington. If I can’t make Lexington work out for me socially, I’ll move onto somewhere else. I have read the threads here about the lack of a social scene for older singles. My challenge to you is to see if we can at last make a difference in how we feel about the singles-scene in Lexington in 2009!
The challenge: Come up with a variety of events where you and all of your 30s-60s friends can meet and mingle with each other for the next 90 days in hopes of developing a network of true and lasting friendships!
We’ll post the activities on the Internet (probably via Meetup.com). MOST IMPORTANTLY…AGAIN - MOST IMPORTANTLY……EVERYONE needs to PARTICIPATE, PARTICIPATE, and PARTICIPATE for just 90 days (May, June, & July). You really need to be there regardless of whether the activity or event is EXACTLY your cup of tea or not; whether you really found someone of personal interest to you at the last event or not; whether you felt comfortable or not; whether you like the activity/event/location/service/drink prices/parking/smoking; non-smoking/yada-yada or not. People back off from events when the participation falls off -- it’s a vicious cycle. The only way to BREAKTHROUGH is to continue to show up! You never know when you’ll meet someone with who become good friends or someone who becomes your significant other. Maybe you’ll find an event or an activity you enjoy more than you thought you would. So, just commit to show up, enjoy meeting new people, and have a good time being yourself. The rest will work itself out!
To get this started…let’s come up with a list of activities and events and let’s begin recruiting our single friends – all ages, shapes, sizes, etc… to join us, and then let’s just get out there. If there is something you have always desired to do, but never had the “friends” to attend with, throw it out there. If you’ve heard of an event (large or small) let us know. When we’ve officially posted an event and requested participation, let’s make it OUR goal to not let any activity or event go unattended – if someone else wants to go and desires the companionship of others, let’s fulfill that desire. It might not be exactly what we’d think of as fun or the people we’d most like to be with, but hey, it beats the alternative…plus we all know that we’re just trying to create the larger living, breathing network that will support us going forward. What we see at the first event probably won’t be what we’d really LOVE to see 6-months from now…it is a development process – remember we’re just like a start-up company – hang in there!
To that end…we also need to make sure that EVERY person who puts themselves out there to attend one of the events feels comfortable and appreciated while they are there, enjoyed themselves, feels comfortable returning to another event, and most importantly would feel comfortable inviting their friends to join them. Where I’m at now, I often see new people comment that are hesitant to show-up by themselves or, if they do, they may feel left out of the conversations of the more “experienced” members who tend to stick together. To make sure that doesn’t happen in Lexington, if you are new to an event, please email the event coordinator or some other prominent person within the group (e.g., co-coordinator) who will make sure have a specific person to find when you show up and will ensure you feel comfortable joining the larger group. I promise you…if this takes hold, you will not be the only “new” person at the event. Where I’m at now, there are “new” people joining every day of the week.
If this concept takes hold and people desire to participate, I will contact the leaders of the existing meetup.com groups to see if we can “come together” until we get this thing off the ground. In the city where I am now there are many events that are “cross-posted” for various groups of people. This seems to work well AFTER the core group has developed! Initially, I don’t think we afford to have the dissection into smaller groups.[/SIZE][/font]
Similarly, these events will consist of ALL ages at the beginning. If it proves successful, eventually we may be able to break off into more discrete age groups (e.g. 30-40, 40-50+). However, in the meantime, we need to stick together for impact of having a “critical mass”. Personally, I find the difference between 30s-50s depends upon the person – not the age…so don’t prejudge. Just keep showing up!!!
Task #2: WHAT: Post activities or events you think would be appropriate for small or large group attendance. When you post, please include as much information as you know about the activity/event (e.g. web link, dates, times, whether you’ve been here personally, expected costs, whatever else is relevant). For example, if you know the facility has a special room for groups meetings, post it – if you’ve already got a contact there great.
We all need to do the leg work for collecting this information. We will work together to determine the activities which the group will support. These events will be posted publically on a site such as meetup.com to track events and members so we can begin to build the network. Where I am now the following Happy Hours occur regularly...30-40 on Tues; 40-50 on Wed; 20-30 on Thur; occassionaly all ages on Fri or Sat.
Task #3: WHO: Think about your single friends, family, co-workers, etc. who would benefit from joining the social network. Again, don’t prejudge…we need all kinds. Recruit them to join this thread and the subsequent online community. Also, ask them to commit to participating in the actual events as much as possible
Task #4: Actual Events: When we have an event we will do our best to make sure that everyone feels comfortable and has a good time. Again, We need to think of ourselves as a “start-up” company. We need to do whatever needs to be done to make sure the whole system survives. We will have name tags, special contact persons for new people, etc.
I hope you’ll join me to develop the older singles social network in Lexington we’ve always desired! Please feel free to email me directly or post your replies to this forum.
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