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Old 11-15-2010, 09:03 AM
 
Location: New York
283 posts, read 579,290 times
Reputation: 200

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I can only compare to Queens but I was pretty shocked by the behavior of many of the kids that came trick or treating on halloween (LI- I was at my parents house) , and the parents just stand there with a dazed and stupid look on their face while their kids are so rude!!!

trick or treaters that came to my home in Queens were so respectful, thank you etc. night and day
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Old 11-15-2010, 09:19 AM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
63 posts, read 149,577 times
Reputation: 28
Kayfouroh, I totally agree with out about the parking. The other day I was at the UA in Farmingdale, and this guy in a Bentley comes and parks his car in two spots. Yes, I know it's an expensive car. But it's a Friday night and you need to have more respect than that. If I were a different person, I'd be more likely to hit his car for doing that than parking like a civilized person in one spot.
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Old 11-15-2010, 09:27 AM
 
2,851 posts, read 3,464,300 times
Reputation: 1200
I agree. Kids on LI are a bit misbehaved.

As far as the parking buttheads, they get deflated tires at my job. Park within the lines or whatever is over is going down, literally.
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Old 11-15-2010, 09:31 AM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
63 posts, read 149,577 times
Reputation: 28
That's what I like to hear! lol
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Old 11-15-2010, 10:42 AM
 
Location: Inis Fada
16,966 posts, read 34,609,717 times
Reputation: 7722
Quote:
Originally Posted by minesbroken View Post
The problem is the government stepped in and said that your not allowed to discipline your kid. What used to be considered a warning is now excessive force. What we used to consider a punishment is now abuse. When you have grounded them and it doesn't work, talked to them and it doesn't work, put them in the corner and it doesn't work. tried to make them wash dishes and they give you the finger, send them to theyre room and they tell you to go **** yourself and walk out the front door. what do you do then? you cant even grab them and they know it... friend of ours tried to grab her 15 year old daughter to keep her from leaving the house and getting into a 19 year old boys car and she told the school her mother abused her and showed her the bruise on her arm and child protective services was at the house the next day. she was being watched for months. the government needs to butt out! there is a big difference between bestowing a healthy dose of fear and abusing a child.
fear is how we learn not to do things, you swat at a wasp and it stings you, you learn to fear the wasp and you stay away from them in the future.
I remember many a time where the threat of a spanking thwarted my evil plans when I was a kid. in truth it only happened once... but the fear of it happening again stopped me from being stupid in the future.
There's a lot of truth in your comment. Children show up at school with bruises and a call to CPS is in a parent's future. Show up at the ER -- CPS. Raise your voice in a store to admonish your child's bad behavior -- a budinsky will shoot you looks. We need to have balance. What is that age old expression? Spare the rod, spoil the child. I don't believe in beating children, but one swat on the tush can serve to remind a child that the behavior/action is inappropriate and unacceptable.

My oldest stumbled and fell into a coffee table as a toddler. We went to the ER where both my husband and I were separated and questioned as to the events surrounding my child's injury. It is terrifying enough to see your child tumble and have a huge goose egg erupt on his forehead. It is positively terrifying to know that the powers-that-be automatically assumed child abuse. (If it saves a child, great, but when you're innocent it is very frightening.)

The OP pointed out rude children. As with anything, it's the squeaky wheel which is noticed. The countless other children who were out that day, who said please and thank you, who walked along as opposed to running ahead of mother went unnoticed. They tend to fly under the radar.

To tarnish LI parents based upon the observations in a limited area over a brief period is unfair at best. There are plenty of good parents and children out there.

There are plenty of slob adults out there, too. I can't tell you the number of times my children have held a door for someone, never to hear thank you. The elderly ladies and gentlemen always have a thank you and a kind word for them. That sort of reinforcement is helpful.

How many people reading this have either 1) failed to hold a door for the next person, or 2) failed to say thank you when another has held the door for them?

How many of you have blown your nose at the table while dining (home or out)?

Taken a cell phone call while at the register, at the bank counter, etc., when such a call could have waited 5 more minutes?

How many of you have flipped the bird at someone (or cursed) while driving because you didn't like the perceived transgressors actions?

How many of you have stood on the grocery line with a cart full while behind you a person has a handful of items? Have you been courteous and let them pass ahead, or ignore them and proceed to unload your cart?

How many of you have walked past a piece of trash in the street and not picked it up because it blew from the garbage truck or came from a neighbor's can, and just wasn't yours?

How many of you answered yes to one of the above, and did so in front of your children?

Children learn from our actions and inaction. That little boy who told his mom to shut the F up probably hears mom or dad say the same thing to each other. Chances are, it's something that people out west in crappy marriages do, too.

We can't change everything, but we can start in our own homes. If some kid in the park is telling his mom to shut the F up, my heart goes out to that child as he has no decent foundation from which to grow.

I am sorry this was such a long-winded reply. It touched something which really bothers me -- the lack of respect and discipline in society as a whole.

Last edited by OhBeeHave; 11-15-2010 at 10:44 AM.. Reason: Filter screened out S T F U
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Old 11-15-2010, 05:29 PM
 
Location: Long Island
9,531 posts, read 15,821,591 times
Reputation: 5948
Quote:
Originally Posted by minesbroken View Post
The problem is the government stepped in and said that your not allowed to discipline your kid. What used to be considered a warning is now excessive force. What we used to consider a punishment is now abuse. When you have grounded them and it doesn't work, talked to them and it doesn't work, put them in the corner and it doesn't work. tried to make them wash dishes and they give you the finger, send them to theyre room and they tell you to go **** yourself and walk out the front door. what do you do then? you cant even grab them and they know it... friend of ours tried to grab her 15 year old daughter to keep her from leaving the house and getting into a 19 year old boys car and she told the school her mother abused her and showed her the bruise on her arm and child protective services was at the house the next day. she was being watched for months. the government needs to butt out! there is a big difference between bestowing a healthy dose of fear and abusing a child.
fear is how we learn not to do things, you swat at a wasp and it stings you, you learn to fear the wasp and you stay away from them in the future.
I remember many a time where the threat of a spanking thwarted my evil plans when I was a kid. in truth it only happened once... but the fear of it happening again stopped me from being stupid in the future.
x 100

Fear works.
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Old 11-15-2010, 06:11 PM
Status: " You’re not getting another penny out of me" (set 10 days ago)
 
19,737 posts, read 20,545,943 times
Reputation: 16443
I just typed a long winded reply to this thread from my podium on this subject, then read it back to myself, proudly patted myself on the back, and then proceeded to delete it.

Just because.
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Old 11-15-2010, 07:32 PM
 
Location: Mastic Beach
752 posts, read 1,458,935 times
Reputation: 303
Quote:
Originally Posted by OhBeeHave View Post
There's a lot of truth in your comment. Children show up at school with bruises and a call to CPS is in a parent's future. Show up at the ER -- CPS. Raise your voice in a store to admonish your child's bad behavior -- a budinsky will shoot you looks. We need to have balance. What is that age old expression? Spare the rod, spoil the child. I don't believe in beating children, but one swat on the tush can serve to remind a child that the behavior/action is inappropriate and unacceptable.

My oldest stumbled and fell into a coffee table as a toddler. We went to the ER where both my husband and I were separated and questioned as to the events surrounding my child's injury. It is terrifying enough to see your child tumble and have a huge goose egg erupt on his forehead. It is positively terrifying to know that the powers-that-be automatically assumed child abuse. (If it saves a child, great, but when you're innocent it is very frightening.)

The OP pointed out rude children. As with anything, it's the squeaky wheel which is noticed. The countless other children who were out that day, who said please and thank you, who walked along as opposed to running ahead of mother went unnoticed. They tend to fly under the radar.

To tarnish LI parents based upon the observations in a limited area over a brief period is unfair at best. There are plenty of good parents and children out there.

There are plenty of slob adults out there, too. I can't tell you the number of times my children have held a door for someone, never to hear thank you. The elderly ladies and gentlemen always have a thank you and a kind word for them. That sort of reinforcement is helpful.

How many people reading this have either 1) failed to hold a door for the next person, or 2) failed to say thank you when another has held the door for them?

How many of you have blown your nose at the table while dining (home or out)?

Taken a cell phone call while at the register, at the bank counter, etc., when such a call could have waited 5 more minutes?

How many of you have flipped the bird at someone (or cursed) while driving because you didn't like the perceived transgressors actions?

How many of you have stood on the grocery line with a cart full while behind you a person has a handful of items? Have you been courteous and let them pass ahead, or ignore them and proceed to unload your cart?

How many of you have walked past a piece of trash in the street and not picked it up because it blew from the garbage truck or came from a neighbor's can, and just wasn't yours?

How many of you answered yes to one of the above, and did so in front of your children?

Children learn from our actions and inaction. That little boy who told his mom to shut the F up probably hears mom or dad say the same thing to each other. Chances are, it's something that people out west in crappy marriages do, too.

We can't change everything, but we can start in our own homes. If some kid in the park is telling his mom to shut the F up, my heart goes out to that child as he has no decent foundation from which to grow.

I am sorry this was such a long-winded reply. It touched something which really bothers me -- the lack of respect and discipline in society as a whole.
sometimes it isn't the parents fault...sometimes some kids just need a more rigorous disciplinary action... sometimes the kids are on drugs, sometimes they are just bad eggs...you cant make a blanket statement about something with endless variables. all children are individuals and as such are prone to different behavioral problems...sometimes regardless of upbringing. I'm not saying that parents are never the problem...but they aren't always the problem either.
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Old 11-16-2010, 10:12 AM
 
Location: Inis Fada
16,966 posts, read 34,609,717 times
Reputation: 7722
Quote:
Originally Posted by minesbroken View Post
sometimes it isn't the parents fault...sometimes some kids just need a more rigorous disciplinary action... sometimes the kids are on drugs, sometimes they are just bad eggs...you cant make a blanket statement about something with endless variables. all children are individuals and as such are prone to different behavioral problems...sometimes regardless of upbringing. I'm not saying that parents are never the problem...but they aren't always the problem either.
Given the number of precocious children the OP states to have seen in a very limited period, are you lead to believe that the children are bad eggs or the parents are lax?

Going back to your post, the one to which I replied, you know as well as I if the parents had taken a more rigorous disciplinary action while in public, that someone might have called the police or created a scene.

The little child on the bicycle who wouldn't slow down in the park with his mother -- the S T F U kid -- what do you think the chances are that he's on drugs? (Let's be serious -- how many drug addled 4, 5, 6 year olds have you seen? The kid was in the park with his mother -- this was a little kid.) The mother could very well have stopped Potty Mouth Jr, taken away his bicycle and walked him out of the park. The OP doesn't tell us if she took corrective measures, or whether she shrugged and let little Potty Mouth Jr. continue speeding along.

The child who flipped off his father in Friendly's when told to eat his chicken nuggets: Did dad ask for the check, box the leftovers and take Flippy Jr out of there, or did they continue eating, order ice cream for himself and Flippy Jr. and then toddled out?

Yes, there are variables, but then variables are moot as the OP didn't provide us with the parental follow through, or lack thereof. There are a large number of disinterested, disengaged parents as well as the 'bad eggs' out there. If those children did in fact do what the OP has written, it would have been helpful to have known what occurred next.

I do not have enough fingers to count the number of meals, movies, weddings, funerals, wakes, graduations, etc., disrupted by screaming children whose parents do not have the common sense to remove the child from the premises, calm them, and then return with a child whose needs have been addressed. It might not be what mom or dad wants to do, but once we become parents, we have a responsibility to take care of our children, teach them right from wrong, and not to make excuses or place blame elsewhere.
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Old 11-16-2010, 10:35 AM
 
Location: Where my bills arrive
19,097 posts, read 16,922,412 times
Reputation: 15460
Although the OP's observations were properly valid I can't agree that they are exclusive to LI. I am sure any mall setting would have reveiled similar examples. I can say from my observations I have seen this and plenty more. The difference is whether the adult acts as a parent or an adult with a legal guardian. If one of my daughters has told us to f-off or flipped the bird their would have been consequences.

It is sad that the schools teach kids how to call the police on their parents, both of ours threatend it. We had them pack their suite case before allowing them to call, I mean after all we knew the police would not allow them to stay in the house..lol. Neither daughter wanted to call after that. We always maintained the attitude that if you don't like the rules then feel free to be moved by Social Services, neither did.

I know I am being sarcastic but their were rules and overall we had very little trouble. Now in their 20's I can proudly say they both turned out to be decent people.
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