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I try to get my preschooler's parents to see that they need to be involved from the get-go. Sure, people work, they don't have as much time as parents used to it seems, but that can't be used as an excuse to leave your child's educational experiences up to a teacher only.
Today was a very bad day. Child #1 has "impulse" issues, he had a major meltdown over other children not building with the blocks the way he thought it should be done. Crying, yelling, kicking, rolling on the floor, trying to get back to the blocks while I/we tried to get him to calm down to talk it out. His concern is that I will call Mom and he won't get his "points" so he can go to a movie this weekend. Mom likes to think all of his behaviors are due to other children doing things to him. She doesn't always see how he antagonizes others. She doesn't want him tested for neurological issues, she will move out of district if they try to do it next year in Kindergarten. He's a bright kid with no control.
Child #2 has parenting issues and hates school, he doesn't want to be there. His family goes motorcrossing, the 4 and 6 year old race all around the country. Dad takes them out after school. They were traveling for 2 weeks during the school year for races - didn't tell us ahead of time of course. Pulled the older one out of school. #2 never does any of the optional "homework" we give the kids each week. He looks like he just rolled out of bed everyday, hair NEVER combed. He likes to pull things over on the teachers if he can get away with it. Hates to be put in a chair for a timeout. Parents feign concern but they don't do anything.
Child #3 has huge anger issues. Mom and Dad just divorced. Kid has big speech problems which are thankfully being addressed, but they've ignored his anger and behavior problems for two years. The words that come out of this boys mouth would embarrass an old sailor - where do they learn this stuff? He threatens to kill other children if they don't let him "win" or take something he wants. But he also gets so upset he says he wants to die. How sad for a four year old. We got him a new SEIT who is doing a good job with both him and his parents. He got Lunchables all the time for lunch until we mentioned to mom and dad that he wanted something else.
Child #4 is also pretty smart, but behaves like a two year old. Whines out loud all the time - and this is a boy! Runs around like a fool all day, doesn't listen to anyone. Mother is overwhelmed with three young kids and there's no discipline. He can dump a bucket of toys in one second flat and is off to the next thing before you see him do it. Hates to clean up. Eats prepackaged junk for lunch, like adult protein bars that aren't good for kids his age.
Child #5 has parents who may or may not be getting divorced. We haven't figured that out yet. Mom wants personal attention because she works - well excuse me, so do many of the other moms. Doesn't read the notes we send home or put up on the bulletin board and then complains that we didn't remind her or tell her. Child goes to bed WAY too late every night and cries at the end of the day because she's so tired. Very needy.
Child #6 we figure is neglected. No mother in the picture, lives with wacko father and grandmother at grandmother's house, maybe an aunt or uncle there too. Father in trouble with the law twice this year that we know of, big time. I wonder when he'll end up in jail. The little girl is also very needy, never dressed like a girly-girl which she would love - hey, they live in Lloyd Harbor, no problem there - yet they are behind in their tuition payments every year. Right now she has a urinary tract infection, we were told, but after almost a month now, she's still having problems, wetting her pants twice a day with no control. Takes the adults in her life up to two hours to bother to come and bring dry clothes and shoes for this poor kid. We've let her use our spare clothing a few times and they never wash them and bring them back! She never has any "homework" done, in fact, at four, she's behind academically, can't remember too much that we've worked on with her. I worry about her a lot. Father doesn't really take care of her and grandma says she's done raising children. How sad for this little girl.
So yeah, parents aren't doing their job anymore for the most part. No responsibility, no common sense, self-indulged, shouldn't have had kids if they didn't want to take care of them.
Sorry about the length of this. Like I said, it was a bad day. Too many of them every year, more and more. And I love my job.
In the Catholic school that my pre school kid attends, any kid who purposefully disrupts the class and/or class activities for whatever reason are sent to sit at a corner table by themselves. They call this "time out". Parents are told of the incident and are advised that the child will be disciplined if they engage in such behavior again.
In the Catholic school that my pre school kid attends, any kid who purposefully disrupts the class and/or class activities for whatever reason are sent to sit at a corner table by themselves. They call this "time out". Parents are told of the incident and are advised that the child will be disciplined if they engage in such behavior again.
It works wonderfully.
Private schools don't keep children who have issues and farm them back into te public schools...that works wonderfully, too...trust me when I say those of us in schools are doing time outs, etc. to work with children's behavior, but like I said, it's a team effort and caretakers (parents, teachers, etc.) need to buy in..I've had children with learning and behavior issues who have thrived simply because parents and I have had open lines of communication and they've let me know what works and vice versa...both of those parents worked as well, but made the time...
There was a case in Fairfax VA where the parents coordinated a "night off for the kids", thats right a night off. They feel that the kids have such hectic schedules between schools, sports and other activities that their is no down time. So one night their was no homework, scheduled sports, dance lessons etc. so they could have family time at home.
I figure if your child needs a day planner to keep track of where they need to be then maybe, just maybe you the parent need to say no once in a while. Or perhaps the child needs to tell the parent no when they try to force them to participate in another thing...
I don't know? Would you rather that or your kid sitting in their bedroom all night playing video games?
Personally, I say drive the kid to multi-task and prioritize. Those are skills that will serve them well in the real world.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYEconomist
I don't know? Would you rather that or your kid sitting in their bedroom all night playing video games?
Personally, I say drive the kid to multi-task and prioritize. Those are skills that will serve them well in the real world.
Involvement in other activities is great but not to the point that the child is run ragged. As for video games the parents do have the right to say no.
Also Asians and women can't drive, all Mexicans are hard workers, the Polish are not that intelligent, all Russians are drunks and all Americans are lazy...yada yada yada
Right because that's exactly the same as what I said about the kids of Asian immigrants in American schools.
There are a few things said in this thread that are perfectly true..I teach in a "good" NYC district/school and the parents have changed in the years I have been teaching...parents used to support the learning going on in school as best as possible by at least LOOKING at kids homework and having an idea about what was going on in class...they used to talk to their children if there were issues with behavior and classwork...now they are so busy blaming the teachers and being self-interested and they are looking for any excuse not to take responsibility..this is not ALL parents, but it's enough to make a difference...
Quote:
I don't care to go "round and round" and if you read carefully, I have no interest in placing blame on parents, merely shared my experience..watch the altitude on your high horse...
Ok whatever you say Pumpkin. Funny you complain about parents not being involved but when a concerned parent speaks up about their children's' education you try to belittle the with comments about a high horse. Shh and just pay your darn taxes, I got horse riding lessons to pay for!!!!
I try to get my preschooler's parents to see that they need to be involved from the get-go. Sure, people work, they don't have as much time as parents used to it seems, but that can't be used as an excuse to leave your child's educational experiences up to a teacher only.
Today was a very bad day. Child #1 has "impulse" issues, he had a major meltdown over other children not building with the blocks the way he thought it should be done. Crying, yelling, kicking, rolling on the floor, trying to get back to the blocks while I/we tried to get him to calm down to talk it out. His concern is that I will call Mom and he won't get his "points" so he can go to a movie this weekend. Mom likes to think all of his behaviors are due to other children doing things to him. She doesn't always see how he antagonizes others. She doesn't want him tested for neurological issues, she will move out of district if they try to do it next year in Kindergarten. He's a bright kid with no control.
Child #2 has parenting issues and hates school, he doesn't want to be there. His family goes motorcrossing, the 4 and 6 year old race all around the country. Dad takes them out after school. They were traveling for 2 weeks during the school year for races - didn't tell us ahead of time of course. Pulled the older one out of school. #2 never does any of the optional "homework" we give the kids each week. He looks like he just rolled out of bed everyday, hair NEVER combed. He likes to pull things over on the teachers if he can get away with it. Hates to be put in a chair for a timeout. Parents feign concern but they don't do anything.
Child #3 has huge anger issues. Mom and Dad just divorced. Kid has big speech problems which are thankfully being addressed, but they've ignored his anger and behavior problems for two years. The words that come out of this boys mouth would embarrass an old sailor - where do they learn this stuff? He threatens to kill other children if they don't let him "win" or take something he wants. But he also gets so upset he says he wants to die. How sad for a four year old. We got him a new SEIT who is doing a good job with both him and his parents. He got Lunchables all the time for lunch until we mentioned to mom and dad that he wanted something else.
Child #4 is also pretty smart, but behaves like a two year old. Whines out loud all the time - and this is a boy! Runs around like a fool all day, doesn't listen to anyone. Mother is overwhelmed with three young kids and there's no discipline. He can dump a bucket of toys in one second flat and is off to the next thing before you see him do it. Hates to clean up. Eats prepackaged junk for lunch, like adult protein bars that aren't good for kids his age.
Child #5 has parents who may or may not be getting divorced. We haven't figured that out yet. Mom wants personal attention because she works - well excuse me, so do many of the other moms. Doesn't read the notes we send home or put up on the bulletin board and then complains that we didn't remind her or tell her. Child goes to bed WAY too late every night and cries at the end of the day because she's so tired. Very needy.
Child #6 we figure is neglected. No mother in the picture, lives with wacko father and grandmother at grandmother's house, maybe an aunt or uncle there too. Father in trouble with the law twice this year that we know of, big time. I wonder when he'll end up in jail. The little girl is also very needy, never dressed like a girly-girl which she would love - hey, they live in Lloyd Harbor, no problem there - yet they are behind in their tuition payments every year. Right now she has a urinary tract infection, we were told, but after almost a month now, she's still having problems, wetting her pants twice a day with no control. Takes the adults in her life up to two hours to bother to come and bring dry clothes and shoes for this poor kid. We've let her use our spare clothing a few times and they never wash them and bring them back! She never has any "homework" done, in fact, at four, she's behind academically, can't remember too much that we've worked on with her. I worry about her a lot. Father doesn't really take care of her and grandma says she's done raising children. How sad for this little girl.
So yeah, parents aren't doing their job anymore for the most part. No responsibility, no common sense, self-indulged, shouldn't have had kids if they didn't want to take care of them.
Sorry about the length of this. Like I said, it was a bad day. Too many of them every year, more and more. And I love my job.
You know, maybe one of the problems is that all the teachers have become psychologists/sociologists/therapists and every other occupation that tries to figure people out. What ever happened to kids being kids? Maybe we need to accept variations in personalities and stop trying to make every kid a Stepford child.
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