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Hi all. I need a little guidance. My mom, 85, has dementia/Alzheimer's and is coming to live with me and I don't know where to start. I live in a split (in the Town of Hempstead) and plan to make the garage a bedroom and the den her living space. I presently have a half bath on that level and will need to add a handicapped accessible shower. Do I need to hire an architect for this? Do I need a permit before I start construction? (time is of the essence) Will a contractor file the plans? How do I find an architect or contractor? We've applied for Medicaid and Mom has about $10,000 left to cover construction costs. Will that be enough to convert the garage and add the shower? I don't plan on adding a kitchen as her caregiver (I work full-time) will have access to my kitchen. The only other expense might be an additional zone for heating (she's always cold). Any advice is greatly appreciated.
I think you need permits to do any kind of work. I know this from my parents when I was growing up. You will probably need to show blueprints. As far as a contractor, unless you have that ability, then yes, you will need one. I commend you for caring for your Mom. As a nurse, and someone who has had a family member go thru this, it is a LOT of mental and physical work. She will need to be watched, to make sure she does not get out of the house and wander, or try to burn the house down.
I went through this with my father. I didn't do any work on the house. It did get to the point very quickly with him (about 4 months) that for his own safety and my own I could no longer keep him at home. Luckily, we had a beautiful Alzheimer's facility with a wonderful and caring staff a 5 minute walk from the house.
I would also suggest caregiver counseling. What you are about to undertake is the most difficult thing I've ever endured.
Hi all. I need a little guidance. My mom, 85, has dementia/Alzheimer's and is coming to live with me and I don't know where to start. I live in a split (in the Town of Hempstead) and plan to make the garage a bedroom and the den her living space. I presently have a half bath on that level and will need to add a handicapped accessible shower. Do I need to hire an architect for this? Do I need a permit before I start construction? (time is of the essence) Will a contractor file the plans? How do I find an architect or contractor? We've applied for Medicaid and Mom has about $10,000 left to cover construction costs. Will that be enough to convert the garage and add the shower? I don't plan on adding a kitchen as her caregiver (I work full-time) will have access to my kitchen. The only other expense might be an additional zone for heating (she's always cold). Any advice is greatly appreciated.
I commend you for doing this for your mother. This country has gone away from being responsible for their elders and most people in your position would put them in assisted living or nursing homes. The problem is if you are gonna do this job legally it will require permits, drawings and I believe 10k will be cutting it close. ToH building dept is also really slow so if you do persue it legally I suggest not wasting any time. I wish you the best of luck.
I commend you for doing this for your mother. This country has gone away from being responsible for their elders and most people in your position would put them in assisted living or nursing homes. The problem is if you are gonna do this job legally it will require permits, drawings and I believe 10k will be cutting it close. ToH building dept is also really slow so if you do persue it legally I suggest not wasting any time. I wish you the best of luck.
My sister and I looked at a very nice nursing home, but we just couldn't do it. She still knows who everybody is and is pretty easy to take care of.
Is it possible to do the work and then submit plans? She's currently living with my brother and sister-in-law upstate, but by September they won't be able to take care of her anymore.
I would check with your city board. Not usually, as far as I know. They usually are pretty stiff as far that goes. I wouldn't wait. Sounds like time of the essence. Best of luck.
Often times the care-giver's health suffers greatly when caring for an elderly parent who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Burn-out is very common.
You can also see if there is a day-care program locally. I had one for my Dad in the beginning. The facility would pick him up in the morning in their mini-bus and bring him home about 3pm. This kept him in a controlled social environment as long as he was able to attend.
Good luck! I don't know anything about the construction issues but have a neighbor who used to work for Senior Services. You may want to look into some of the Town of Hempstead options like Senior Daycare--a town bus would pick her up. Senior Services - ToH
I understand your not wanting her to be in a nursing home, I visited a relative today in one that's supposed to be very good and have to say that if it's considered very good then I can't imagine what the bad ones are like.
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Originally Posted by sailingthru
Hi all. I need a little guidance. My mom, 85, has dementia/Alzheimer's and is coming to live with me and I don't know where to start. I live in a split (in the Town of Hempstead) and plan to make the garage a bedroom and the den her living space. I presently have a half bath on that level and will need to add a handicapped accessible shower. Do I need to hire an architect for this? Do I need a permit before I start construction? (time is of the essence) Will a contractor file the plans? How do I find an architect or contractor? We've applied for Medicaid and Mom has about $10,000 left to cover construction costs. Will that be enough to convert the garage and add the shower? I don't plan on adding a kitchen as her caregiver (I work full-time) will have access to my kitchen. The only other expense might be an additional zone for heating (she's always cold). Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Having grown up in this exact situation let me cast a few questions. Garage to BR is a good idea and takes a minimum amount of modification to accomplish. Bathroom, could your mom go upstairs once a day to shower/bath seeing the care giver is feeding her in the family kitchen? My Grandmother lived with us for 17 years and it worked. For room heating I will bet the heat ducts run through the garage ceiling, just add a duct. If your mom is still cold (which most are) get a Portable Oil Filled Radiator (Delonghi makes them) they are safe, no fire hazard or burn hazzard. We used to heat half our house with one and they normally run @$50, well worth it.
I now have my 88 year old mother near me in Assisted Living, after my experiences growing up I can not subject my family to that. Please look hard at your moms needs and you and your families ability to cope. Adult day care may be available and provides a daytime option. Costs of caregivers is high and might be better spent on Assisted Living vice at home. My wife is a Nurse at such a facility and works in the Memory Care Unit the challenges can be alot.
Regardless which path you choose make sure you take care of yourself! Luckily I have a sister that I can vent to when needed and we are both on the same sheet music when it come to issues with mom. It took time to find a balance in handling all her affairs and there were time.......
You can dm me if you have specific questions.
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