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I would also add that some people are better at managing their money than others and know how to stretch a dollar. While inarguably, the COL here is higher than Florida, if you are careful you stand a better chance. This may sound like a really stupid statement, however, I am pointing it out because I am constantly amazed at people who are always crying about money and yet, have a new leased car and several vacations a year. Am I suggesting that a beat up old jalopy and a local beach as a vacation is what everyone needs to do, no, but a re-evaluation of the difference between NEED vs. WANT would be a productive conversation.
I am speaking about reasonable people here, not the nut jobs who make a career of eating out at time share dinners or financial planning seminars, in addition to clipping coupons out of 20 different papers and then setting up a rainy day bunker with enough supplies to last a life time.
I would also add that some people are better at managing their money than others and know how to stretch a dollar. While inarguably, the COL here is higher than Florida, if you are careful you stand a better chance. This may sound like a really stupid statement, however, I am pointing it out because I am constantly amazed at people who are always crying about money and yet, have a new leased car and several vacations a year. Am I suggesting that a beat up old jalopy and a local beach as a vacation is what everyone needs to do, no, but a re-evaluation of the difference between NEED vs. WANT would be a productive conversation.
I am speaking about reasonable people here, not the nut jobs who make a career of eating out at time share dinners or financial planning seminars, in addition to clipping coupons out of 20 different papers and then setting up a rainy day bunker with enough supplies to last a life time.
Dang it, I was going to build a vertical garden so high that it would sustain me for eternity on a levitt sized lot. Now i'm beginning to think it's a "nut job" idea. 3 stories of broccoli isn't crazy, is it???
I've only read the first page of comments, but based on what the OP and his wife are saying, it sounds like they are really leaning towards Long Island. This area has a lot to offer. But it sounds like you have a great situation in Florida too. My suggestion would be then to live where you really want to live. If you think that culturally Long Island is more in line with what you want for your kids, then come here. It can be hard, but people make it work. If the idea of leaving Florida seems daunting and feel that it might be a mistake, then stay put. I think holding on to the house in Florida is a smart idea.
One thing that I have to warn about. I noticed that the OP is concerned about kids staying at home longer and OP's wife fear of "apathy and contentment with mediocrity." This is something that you have to be concerned about. I am a 31 year old attorney. Most of my friends have college and even graduate level degrees. Many of my LI friends lived at home into their late 20s, some even still live at home now. Some people moved back home after losing a job, but many people still live at home even with successful careers. Hey, to each their own and I'm sure they're saving a ton of money, but I just think adults should act like adults, and that includes standing on your own two feet.
I lived on LI for my teenage years and part of my 20s. I have lived in the City since. Many of my friends have left LI, many have stayed. As much as I love my friends who have stayed, and as much as I appreciate all of the wonderful things that I have experienced growing up here, I do have to say that there is a culture among some (possibly many) LI residents of not really being interested in going outside of their own little bubble or "I'm going to do exactly what my parents did and not really anything else." I would argue that this is "a sense of apathy and contentment with mediocrity." This is probably what scares me most about moving back to LI. I want my kids to grow up with curious minds, I want them to roll with the punches, I want them to feel comfortable with people who are not like themselves, I want them to travel the world. Growing up on LI, I felt that there were some people who got that, and a lot of people who thought that was strange. But for all I know, this may be an everywhere thing, not a LI thing. All I know is that my friends who live in the City just seem a lot more open to new and different experiences.
My only counter to that is you find communities everywhere in this country where people take a parochial and narrow view of the experience they want and how much they want to explore. Not LI specific. I could same the same about Chicago 'burbs family and could CERTAINLY say the same about friends and family I have in the Boston area. We are talking personalities here. I wanted to do the Manhattan thing years because I was bored out of my mind in Southern PA. To each their own.
@Nesconset Rez -- there is no doubt in my mind that it is the same everywhere. I just thought that the OP and his wife shouldn't be coming here expecting things to be different then they are. Sure, we have fantastic schools and a lot of cultural options that aren't available elsewhere, but people are still people wherever you go.
1. Cost of Living expenses Expensive, but houses here hold their value and didnt take as much of a hit as FL did
3. Quality of living To each its own. I grew up on Long Island and I have fond memories of a back yard, grass and a pool and riding my bike
4. Traffic congestion/poor roads and infrastructure Get over it. But it is not as bad as you think
5. Stress of Moving/Starting over when we'll be close to 40 years old Moving is always stressful, plan, pray, and move along!
6. Being more stressed over money straining our relationship. Discuss financial accountability before you move and set up a plan of what you two will do to solve a problem if it happens. Also, this can happen at any location.
8. Having more family functions to attend/less free time Catch 22. Do you want more quality of life? memories for kdis??
9. More hectic lifestyle Only if you make it hectic
10. More Crowded everywhere you go (compared to FL) Not as crowded as you think
11. Once we reach retirement age, will we be able to hold onto our house or be forced
(financially) to move. I don't want to move again, I want to retire in the house I've lived in for most of my life.
That depends on your taxes, and your lifestyle. Lots of grandparents sell their large houses and buy nice townhomes in 55+ communites and then life off the rest
12. Kids living with us longer before being able to afford their own place Blessing in disguise? What if you get sick? and need someone to wipe your butt, or mow your lawn..... most houses have basements. Send the 18+ kids down there and charge them rent.
13. Moving into smaller, older house In Europe houses are older than 1700's. Here on Long Island the oldest house you'll prob get is 1952 or something
14. Island mentality combined with NY attitude (sorry I'm generalizing, and hope to not offend anyone
personally). There are more people with an arrogant, brash "I'm too busy or important to listen to
you" attitude. I don't mean everyone; there are lots of good, pleasant people here. It's just the
fast paced life makes it hard for most to slow down to be civil. The culture is so unique on Long
Island, it's a special place, but it's also isolated a bit due to its geographical nature.
Long Island mentality does come with an attitude but thats because they live a stones throw from one of the if not thee most amazing cities on the planet. I find that people create their own enviornment. If you are looking for quiet and and to slow down, no one is saying that you can't. and you can do things like go bird watching at a nature preserve and meet like minded people. you can go fishing.... have a garden. or you can get dressed up and go party at a club and throw up in your driveway! You will get out of long island what you put in !
1. Cost of Living expenses Expensive, but houses here hold their value and didnt take as much of a hit as FL did
3. Quality of living To each its own. I grew up on Long Island and I have fond memories of a back yard, grass and a pool and riding my bike
4. Traffic congestion/poor roads and infrastructure Get over it. But it is not as bad as you think
5. Stress of Moving/Starting over when we'll be close to 40 years old Moving is always stressful, plan, pray, and move along!
6. Being more stressed over money straining our relationship. Discuss financial accountability before you move and set up a plan of what you two will do to solve a problem if it happens. Also, this can happen at any location.
8. Having more family functions to attend/less free time Catch 22. Do you want more quality of life? memories for kdis??
9. More hectic lifestyle Only if you make it hectic
10. More Crowded everywhere you go (compared to FL) Not as crowded as you think
11. Once we reach retirement age, will we be able to hold onto our house or be forced
(financially) to move. I don't want to move again, I want to retire in the house I've lived in for most of my life.
That depends on your taxes, and your lifestyle. Lots of grandparents sell their large houses and buy nice townhomes in 55+ communites and then life off the rest
12. Kids living with us longer before being able to afford their own place Blessing in disguise? What if you get sick? and need someone to wipe your butt, or mow your lawn..... most houses have basements. Send the 18+ kids down there and charge them rent.
13. Moving into smaller, older house In Europe houses are older than 1700's. Here on Long Island the oldest house you'll prob get is 1952 or something
14. Island mentality combined with NY attitude (sorry I'm generalizing, and hope to not offend anyone
personally). There are more people with an arrogant, brash "I'm too busy or important to listen to
you" attitude. I don't mean everyone; there are lots of good, pleasant people here. It's just the
fast paced life makes it hard for most to slow down to be civil. The culture is so unique on Long
Island, it's a special place, but it's also isolated a bit due to its geographical nature.
Long Island mentality does come with an attitude but thats because they live a stones throw from one of the if not thee most amazing cities on the planet. I find that people create their own enviornment. If you are looking for quiet and and to slow down, no one is saying that you can't. and you can do things like go bird watching at a nature preserve and meet like minded people. you can go fishing.... have a garden. or you can get dressed up and go party at a club and throw up in your driveway! You will get out of long island what you put in !
Good luck!
Thank you! This is what my point to my husband has been!
I believe wife has her heart set on LI for the kids to grow up in and if she's not happy hubby won't be happy. So come back but first start planning now.
1. How long will it take to sell Fl house?
2. Save, save and then save so more because buying on the island is expensive and it takes time.
3. Start looking for jobs up here and see how many are available.
4. Maybe look into having parents or in laws live with you. Mother/daughter type house. Instant babysitters and might help both of you financially.
I was born and raised on the island and only still here for my kids education, then looking to move off island to somewhere more affordable.
LOL! Not necessarily....it is a decision we are not taking lightly, and we will have to agree that it is what is best for the boys before we decide for certain. It is very scary because we have a lot to lose. My point is that while many give advise for us to stay where we are, I know they (and I am talking about people I know) will never leave Long Island, even after they retire because it is their home and they love it there. If we decide to stay here it will only be because of money, not heart-because mine will always long to be back home (on Long Island).
It does sound as though you have your mind made up and are looking for validation. You're not really getting it which can be frustrating. If you have your heart set, do it. Few people will tell you to go back to Long Island, so bear that in mind when asking for opinions.
I love Long Island. Lived in Massapequa, grew up in Westchester, have family in Melville, visit once or twice a year. My family relocated to the west coast in 2001 and have been in Oregon for the last six years. I would never consider returning to LI. Everything is just... Too much. Too much traffic, too much money just to live, too-high taxes, too-high house prices... My nephew at age eleven has one ambition, which is to own a Ferrari one day. He is hoping his rich dad is listening.
Florida has its negatives, as do most places.
As for people who would never leave Long Island, well there are people who would never leave Newark or Detroit, either. I have a brother in Eastchester who will never, ever leave. It's a nice town outside of NYC, but is as interesting as an empty bird cage. To each, his own.
Location: Prince Georges County, MD (formerly Long Island, NY)
1,558 posts, read 2,724,431 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ExNooYawk
It does sound as though you have your mind made up and are looking for validation. You're not really getting it which can be frustrating. If you have your heart set, do it. Few people will tell you to go back to Long Island, so bear that in mind when asking for opinions.
I can't believe the amount of people telling the OP to stay in Florida. I am a Long Island native, but have lived in Floriduh for the last 16 years. I can tell you with absolute certainty that this place is awful. No seasons, too hot, no sense of community, way too many senior citizens, the list goes on and on. Florida really is a place to move to when you're ready to die, but in more ways than people realize. Sure, there's the whole "God's waiting room" bit, but also, there is the emotional toll it takes on younger people. People down here have no spark, no drive, no ambition. They just accept a mediocre QOL and are generally apathetic. People down here are just living to live, just because. They have no purpose. I don't know what it is, really. The heat? The soul-crushing boredom?
I would never, ever raise a family here. It is not the kind of childhood we all remember. You can't play in the woods, you can't roll around on the lawn, you really don't even see anyone going trick or treating during Halloween. Parents just take their kids to the mall for candy and call it a day. Everything is WAY too far apart, so they can't really ride their bikes around the "neighborhood" and hang with their friends. And don't even get me started on the school system. I managed to dodge that bullet, thank goodness, but my younger sister wasn't so fortunate. She was thrust right into the Florida public school system and couldn't believe what she was seeing. They are breeding low-grade morons down here. The schools are several grades behind NY. When I attended college for my AA, I swear I thought I was back in the 9th grade.
Yes, it is cheaper, but not as cheap as it once was. And yeah, a LOT of people are struggling to make it on Long Island, but a whole lot of people are struggling to make it down here in Florida, too. It really does not matter where you live in this country, there will always be a large group of people who live way outside of their means and struggle. But if you want to live in a place that is younger, more vibrant, with drive and life and things to actually go do in your free time, and you want your kids to have a proper childhood, get out of Florida and get back to Long Island as soon as you can.
I'm doing the same. Just a few more loose ends to tie up and in a few more months, I'm gone. I can't wait to go back home. It won't be easy, and money will be tight for a little while, but it will all work out in the end.
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I find that people create their own enviornment. If you are looking for quiet and and to slow down, no one is saying that you can't. and you can do things like go bird watching at a nature preserve and meet like minded people. you can go fishing.... have a garden. or you can get dressed up and go party at a club and throw up in your driveway! You will get out of long island what you put in ! 
Not necessarily....it is a decision we are not taking lightly, and we will have to agree that it is what is best for the boys before we decide for certain. It is very scary because we have a lot to lose. My point is that while many give advise for us to stay where we are, I know they (and I am talking about people I know) will never leave Long Island, even after they retire because it is their home and they love it there. If we decide to stay here it will only be because of money, not heart-because mine will always long to be back home (on Long Island).
I have a brother in Eastchester who will never, ever leave. It's a nice town outside of NYC, but is as interesting as an empty bird cage. To each, his own.
