Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
How much do we sacrifice in order to be close to our families?
Is it really priceless? Working longer hours in order to afford living in an area of
high COL just to be close to extended family.
Where do you draw the line, when does it make sense to move to an area with a lower cost
of living in order to be able to afford to do more things with your immediate family and
have more time with them.
Has anyone moved away for this reason and regretted it, or been glad they did?
Who here struggles with making such a move?
Are our jobs/families keeping us here?
Could they be preventing us from living a better life elsewhere with a higher quality of life?
Are there other reasons people don't pick up and leave to have easier lives somewhere else?
Please don't tell me about pizza and bagels.
It is the sad truth. The cost of living on LI takes away from your family life. You work and pay high taxes but you really never see your family . Is the answer to leave or stay I don't know. I will say the family life on LI is not that good . In light of the cost of living and the high taxes one would think the family life would be out standing .
How much do we sacrifice in order to be close to our families?
Is it really priceless? Working longer hours in order to afford living in an area of
high COL just to be close to extended family.
Where do you draw the line, when does it make sense to move to an area with a lower cost
of living in order to be able to afford to do more things with your immediate family and
have more time with them.
Has anyone moved away for this reason and regretted it, or been glad they did?
Who here struggles with making such a move?
Are our jobs/families keeping us here?
Could they be preventing us from living a better life elsewhere with a higher quality of life?
Are there other reasons people don't pick up and leave to have easier lives somewhere else?
Please don't tell me about pizza and bagels.
People stay put for all sorts of reasons. A lot of them might claim that they're doing it for the extended family, when the real reason may be that they are in their comfort zone and are afraid of change. The longer that you stay in a place, the harder it seems to be to leave. Also I've noticed that many people (mostly men) claim to work extra hours in order to provide a better quality of life for their families, but the reality is that they don't want to sit at home with their wives/teenagers. A lot of men face this reality when they retire, and they struggle to find a purpose in life. Finally, many men (and some women) are very competitive, and they compete by acquiring expensive things (like homes) in expensive areas. They might say that they are trying to provide a better life for their family, but they are just trying to satisfy their inner drive.
Imo a person who really wants to spend more time with their family will make that their priority, and they will work fewer hours and/or live in a different place (with lower col) in order to make it happen. I have nothing against folks who work long hours in order to maximize their wealth, but just be honest about why you are doing it.
People stay put for all sorts of reasons. A lot of them might claim that they're doing it for the extended family, when the real reason may be that they are in their comfort zone and are afraid of change. The longer that you stay in a place, the harder it seems to be to leave. Also I've noticed that many people (mostly men) claim to work extra hours in order to provide a better quality of life for their families, but the reality is that they don't want to sit at home with their wives/teenagers. A lot of men face this reality when they retire, and they struggle to find a purpose in life. Finally, many men (and some women) are very competitive, and they compete by acquiring expensive things (like homes) in expensive areas. They might say that they are trying to provide a better life for their family, but they are just trying to satisfy their inner drive.
Imo a person who really wants to spend more time with their family will make that their priority, and they will work fewer hours and/or live in a different place (with lower col) in order to make it happen. I have nothing against folks who work long hours in order to maximize their wealth, but just be honest about why you are doing it.
I think my in-laws regret it. They moved to Florida about 20 years ago when my husband left for college. Now that we have children they are sad that they only get to see them 4-5 times per year. I don't think they can afford to move back. In my experience, when people relocate to a lower COL area, it's very hard to move back to NY Metro especially since home equity has declined more significantly in many snowbird areas.
To folks on this board who have teenage children: be sure when discussing careers with your children that you talk about geographic flexibility. Every community in the US needs surgeons, optometrists, physical and occupational therapists, audiologists, dentists and dental hygenists, podiatrists, accountants, tax advisors and preparers, plumbers, carpenters, etc. However jobs in big law, advertising, finance, banking, film making, etc. are concentrated in large metropolitan areas with high COL. Help your child think strategically by choosing a well paying career that can't be offshored that enables more mobility once they start a family.
We moved away from our parents but were in a good place, no kids, my job was moving and we were young with cash on hand. A few years later my parents realized that they were free to leave and headed to NC. While it would have been nice to have them closer once we had kids, we managed real well and visits were frequent. Now mom and dad are older and moving closer to us so we can help them.
But that is my family and others are different.
How much do we sacrifice in order to be close to our families?
Is it really priceless? Working longer hours in order to afford living in an area of
high COL just to be close to extended family.
Where do you draw the line, when does it make sense to move to an area with a lower cost
of living in order to be able to afford to do more things with your immediate family and
have more time with them.
Has anyone moved away for this reason and regretted it, or been glad they did?
Who here struggles with making such a move?
Are our jobs/families keeping us here?
Could they be preventing us from living a better life elsewhere with a higher quality of life?
Are there other reasons people don't pick up and leave to have easier lives somewhere else?
Please don't tell me about pizza and bagels.
Interesting question. I can say our jobs definitely play an active role in keeping us here. Cost of living be damned, there's just no where else we would make what we're making now, and relative to the cost of living, it pales in comparison to what we could accomplish if we were to relocate.
Work & commuting take up a good deal of our time but it wouldn't be much different for us elsewhere. We'd prefer to live in the middle of effin nowhere when we retire, but for us to do that now, we'd still have to commute to make ends meet and honestly, what good is extra time if there's nothing to do with it. The kids will get a better education here. The challenge is not to let them get sucked into that seemingly common LI rut of living at home till the parents drop dead. So we will travel often and make sure they realize there's a whole world out there. What they want to do with it is up to them. Staying put here, or anywhere, isn't and shouldn't be a given.
If we didn't have kids, we'd be outta here in a heartbeat.
I work in finance and NY used to be the financial capital. Well not anymore. Jobs and remuneration are shrinking and leaving for other areas within country and off-shore.
Times were so good, my 4 hour commute was almost bearable (worked from home sometimes) as were the higher property taxes, ridiculous utility costs and overall higher cost-of-living. But lately, it really seems like expenses here are going crazy between local, county and state taxes rising, gasoline and home heating oil price spikes, ever rising food prices.
From 2002 on, my property taxes have risen almost $1k a year and with the huge deficits being run at local, county and state-levels, tax increases will be with us for good long time. Everything you consume is trucked in, so food prices, building materials, etc. are all effected by NJ toll increases as well fuel costs.
For a while, we lived out West, and I can tell you quality of life can be better... much better. Expenses can be lower. Your commute doesn't need to last n hours long. For what I do, there's now better compensation outside of NY. On top of these reasons, my kids are getting older. So, when I do the arithmetic, the decision is very clear-cut.
It is the sad truth. The cost of living on LI takes away from your family life. You work and pay high taxes but you really never see your family . Is the answer to leave or stay I don't know. I will say the family life on LI is not that good . In light of the cost of living and the high taxes one would think the family life would be out standing .
WTF? I didn't realize high taxes = long /hours commute as well. Try to stick to one gripe at a time.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
