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I have an almost two year old daughter and me and my husband recently separated. She is of mixed raced. I am currently living with my mother in a neighborhood in queens where the school district is springfield gardens. My mother provides me with alot of emotional support and is awesome with my daughter. I work part time and my daughter has a nanny when I am at work. This is my dilemna. Would you buy a house in a good school district that would be like 20 to 30 minutes from your mother or would you buy a house nearby your mother and send your child to private school?. I am thinking of sending her to Friends Academy, Portledge or the long island progressive school( we are closer to the short shore of long island. I worry about her being the only minority in the private school but she would be one of only a few minorities in the good school district as well. If you have gotten this far thanks for reading and any feedback you could give would be appreciated.
I'm sure the private schools (and probably the public schools as well) would be willing to let you visit and observe in a classroom for part of a day - that could help you get a better feel for how diverse the school is, and whether you'd be comfortable sending your school there.
Personally, on quality of education/connections to be made, I'd choose Friends or Portledge over pretty much any school on Long Island (I don't know anything about Queens, so I can't speak to it), but private school gets pricey. Also, on the diversity issue, to be perfectly frank, Long Island's schools can get pretty segregated - many of the "best" districts are only minimally diverse, so moving to Long Island very well may not resolve this issue for you.
As for the distance from your mother, how reliant are you on your mother day-to-day? If it's mostly an emotional support thing, there's always the phone and you can see still see each other relatively frequently if you're 30 minutes apart. If she's directly involved in the day-to-day care of your daughter (even if it's just to give you a chance to relax for 20 minutes at night while she reads her a bedtime story or something), I'd be hesitant to give that up.
Thank you so much for your response!. My daughter has a nanny when I am at work. This whole single mom thing is new to me. My mom and sister will accompany us on outings on the weekends and frankly it is good to have someone to talk to after a long day at work(I am a physician). I guess I am wondering if its worth it to move to say manhasset where it is not diverse and send her to public school vs staying in a diverse neighborhood with a bad school district and send her to private school.
I grew up in a diverse neighborhood with a bad school district, went to the bad schools, and still turned out to be an Ivy-league educated professional, PLUS I actually know how to interact with people who aren't exactly like me, so my personal vote would always be for diversity over fancy lily-white public schools, since I think exposure to all different kinds of people makes you a more functional adult. Since you have the resources to send her to a truly fantastic private school, I don't really see the point for you in moving away from your primary emotional support, into a neighborhood where your daughter may be less comfortable, so you can pay property taxes that cost about as much as private school tuition anyway.
Usually, even most "bad school districts" are fine on the Preschool and Elementary School level. It's usually just Middle School and High School you have to worry about.
What specifically do you dislike about the Queens school she is zoned for?
We are in the Springfield gardens area of queens. The schools here struggle with overcrowding and gang activity. My sister went to middle school in the district before she went on to a specialized high school and her experience was horrible. Does anyone have children who attend port ledge or friends?. I would love to get some feedback on these two schools. I know these schools may not be diverse but at least she would live in a diverse neighborhood if we stay in Springfield gardens. The Long Island public school districts I am considering are Rockville centre and garden city as they would be closer to my mom
That would be some school commute from Queens to Locust Valley!
Frankly, with the changes that are to take place with the new healthcare legislation going into full effect Jan 2014, I'd stay right where I am. Plus you are currently in a state of transition. As my wise attorney told me, don't make any changes for at least a year after final decree. I listened and he was right.
All things being equal, I would at some point just move to the district of your choice and send your child to district schools retaining a nanny for when you are working. Keep a spare bedroom for Mom!
Something to consider. When your child gets a little older, lets say age 4, and the children start having playdates with their friends from school, are you going to be able to take them/pick them up from their friends' houses on Long Island? Will her friends from Portledge or Friends Academy come to your house?
On the other hand, IMO, the schools in Springfield Gardens are very rough. Even if you have a very studious child, it's hard to learn when the class is overcrowded and has a lot of disruptive students.
I would recommend any public school in Queens or Long Island. I advise you to look for a private school that is diverse.
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