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So, I wanted to give my nephew my car for a graduation present. Now, it’s a 1998 Maxima with sport package, black with black leather seats, a great Boze CD stereo, sport alloy wheels, excellent in/out, no rust, dents, scratches, and garaged and well-maintained since I bought it new. Got the picture, a great kid’s car, not an old ladies car. So, I tell my brother and nephew, I want to give it to him as a HS graduation present in June. They say thanks, but after a few months go by, I’m speaking with my brother, and he tells me my nephew just got a pretty nice car, a new Acura. So, I said I told you I was giving him mine for a present, and he replied, “oh, he didn’t really want that.” I told him if you would have just called me, I would have encouraged you to put that money in a fund, some for college and some for savings now. You know, teach him money management, and some values, not just what he wants. Since my nephew now works in a deli part-time, I thought my car would be great for him, since he wouldn’t really need to carry full comp/collision insurance, which, is crazy for a young driver on LI ($3-4K/yr). My brother said, I bought it for him and I’m paying the full insurance. My brother works 2 jobs, and he only nets roughly $100k, but he has six kids and lives in Wantagh.
Then, he also tells me his 15 year old daughter dropped her iPhone 4s in the toilet, so of course, they just got her a new iPhone 5 for $850. She doesn’t do any babysitting or other kid’s work to contribute. So, my wife and I are just shaking our heads at this. Yes, they made their house a Macmansion as well, but with 6 kids they need the additional space. I realize he probably needs to compensate for not being around much, but isn’t this just craziness? I lived in Wantagh for 35 years, and this wasn’t the middle class norm back then, but I know I left years ago. I’d hate to think this is the new norm on LI for the middle class parents and teens. Maybe it’s just me who had to work for everything when I was a kid. I’m not criticizing them, and I haven’t given them my full thoughts. Just really wanted some feedback on this, and to hear other’s opinion on how common this is here now on LI. Thanks for your thoughts
UGH. The parents are 100% to blame for this. Totally spoiling their kids and then in 5 years, they end up on some trashy reality TV show screaming at everyone as to why they are not getting the 5 star treatment. Sometimes I wish the government required new parents to get a license before becoming parents.
The problem here are the parents, not the kids! Too many parents let their kids get away with not doing anything, and it makes them completely lazy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LegalDiva
UGH. The parents are 100% to blame for this. Totally spoiling their kids and then in 5 years, they end up on some trashy reality TV show screaming at everyone as to why they are not getting the 5 star treatment. Sometimes I wish the government required new parents to get a license before becoming parents.
Exactly! I should have emphasized it's the parents spoiling kids that doesn't give them good values.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 30to66at55
That car is definitely too old. Maybe good for an old man who needs something to do errands with but who wants to be seen in a 15 year old car.
Worried about that sounds like you're one of the spoiled brats.
Well, I guess if you commute by car for 2-4 hrs, you may want something more cushy. However, if you balance paying for gas 2-4 hrs. driving, you may want the savings of a gift like this at 18. So, that's not his situation, but it really depends on how much one could afford and how one spends their money.
Seriously, when I was younger we all drove older cars and muscled them up, everything from Darts, Impalas, to Novas. Now, that car has the sports package and a great stereo. So, what, a kid can't put all their own lights and crap on it to make it snazzy enough?
Yes, you're nieces and nephews are spoiled and your brother only encourages their thinking and behavior.
However, unless you are the one paying his and their bills, expenses, and allowances, I wouldn't concern yourself with how your brother raises his kids.
If he or his children approach you for some type of monetary or employment favor, then by all means, voice your concern. Otherwise, you're running for a hose when there is no fire.
That car is definitely too old. Maybe good for an old man who needs something to do errands with but who wants to be seen in a 15 year old car.
Give me a break. In 1977 at 17 my dad bought me a 1965 Fury III for $150 and I was freaking thrilled. The roof leaked,the floorboard had a hole in it, one window was broken and it had am a.m. radio. Didn't matter....I bought an under dash Radio Shack 8 track and Iron Man rocked. Drove that car for two years until transmission died. It was the greatest car in the world.
Fast forward to 2009. Our youngest daughter refused to drive the 1999 Camry we had and that her sister drove until she bought her own. Well guess who had no car to drive? She caved in a week. She still drives it.
Exactly! I should have emphasized it's the parents spoiling kids that doesn't give them good values.
Worried about that sounds like you're one of the spoiled brats.
Well, I guess if you commute by car for 2-4 hrs, you may want something more cushy. However, if you balance paying for gas 2-4 hrs. driving, you may want the savings of a gift like this at 18. So, that's not his situation, but it really depends on how much one could afford and how one spends their money.
Seriously, when I was younger we all drove older cars and muscled them up, everything from Darts, Impalas, to Novas. Now, that car has the sports package and a great stereo. So, what, a kid can't put all their own lights and crap on it to make it snazzy enough?
Your brother's values (McMansion, iPhone 5, etc.) are seriously impeding his son and daughter's growth as responsible individuals.
Is it possible that your brother nixed the car as he wanted to 'give' his son the NEW Acura for appearances? After all, if he's doing the McMansion conversion, he probably wants his friends and neighbors to see his son sporting about in a new car he provided as opposed to a 15 year old used car from his uncle.
At least your nephew is working to help pay some of the expense. There's a chance yet for him.
Many/most kids on LI don't have to work for anything, hence they never appreciate the value of anything. The problem is the common mentality I see where people seem to think school tax is the fee they pay for someone else to raise their kids. The money spent on cars, fancy electronics & such is merely hush money to keep them out of Mommy & Daddy's hair. That's a big part of why they never see & appreciate the world and develop zero independence.
I was listening to a bunch off parents complain that their 5th graders has too much homework and how its such a drag on family life! Then they start talking about how they (the parents) just do the homework for the kids!!! Furthermore, they were asking each other how to make it look like the kid did the homework!!!! One mom said that "its too hard to make the homework look like the kid did it" so she does not hide the fact that she does it!!!!!!
AAAAHHHHHHH!
I wish I was creative enough to make this up!
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Sometimes I wish the government required new parents to get a license before becoming parents. 
