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Hauppauge and Dix Hills are not even close in so many areas. In terms of the commute, there really is a difference. I live in DH and would not go one minute father - it is already a bit too long. I think both schools are good - you will get more diversity in HHH if that is a plus. The draw for me on DH was the land and size of house, and I wanted to be close to the highways. I think the aesthetics are completely different between the two towns, so I too am confused about how your friend is having a hard time deciding. Not that one town is better than another, just that they are completely different. And for the nicest parts of DH, Deer Park station would be out of the way in the wrong direction. Most people either go to Wyandanch, Huntington, Cold Spring Harbor (that's the one I use), or drive to Hicksville and pay to park.
Don't forget that comparable houses will have an average of $4000 difference in taxes, since Hauppauge's town gets a break from the industrial portion.
Dix Hills and Melville border Wheatley Heights, which in turn borders Wyandanch.
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