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There's gonna be a trade off for taking this job, you gotta figure out which one works best for you.
Connecticut is not worth it, expensive like LI and the tolls.
Westchester same thing.
I think your best bet may be Orange.
You could try further east on the island which has some more reasonable housing but the trade off would be the longer commute, and you gotta be careful where you live out east, affordable sometimes means crap neighborhood and schools.
When are you supposed to start this job?
I think that's your best bet. The commute isn't all that bad for the quality of life you'll have somewhere in Orange County. Affordable, mostly good schools, no urban nonsense.
$45k bump from what? Let's talk turkey. No one knows you here. Unless you were making $100k in Albany you are making a pittance with 5 kids. And while taxes are high in Albany they still do not compare to Long Island. It doesn't sound like you are getting what you think you can get so the question is - what are you most willing to give up, size of the house, land, commuting time or school district?
If you are balking about an hour and half commute from Orange County, you are not going to be happy driving from Bablyon or Islip everyday. You are not going to save any time or money by using public transportation to College Point.
Mostly likely, you will have to live closer to the city and squeeze your family into a small house rental or a 2 family home rental and it will be tight.
Ok mistake number 1 moving to long island
Your bump in pay will just get gobbled up by the exorbiant cost of living on li and working in the city
Best advice, look for someplace more realistic, many people are running from here
Have you considered renting a house in queens (north flushing/whitestone/bayside)? You will be sacrificing on space and the monthly rental might be higher than you budgeted, but you will be able to save a lot on commuting cost and time).
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