Irish Citizens wanting to get married in Catholic Church in Long Island (New York: chapel, house)
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I am hoping that someone may be able to help. I just got engaged at the weekend. My Fiancee and I are planning a trip to the US later this year and were hoping to get married in Long Island on the 29th September. We have found a beautiful church in Westbury but I have just been told that Catholic Churches in Long Island can be quite strict if you are not a parishioner.
My finacee and I are both Catholic and would love to be able to get married in a catholic church. We don't mind if we have to pay fees or donations but we would like to find one asap so we can book our date and continue to plan our trip. I would greatly appreciate if anyone could recommend a church or advise of any restriction with non residents getting married in Long Island.
As you were told, it can be hard to book a date if you are a non parishioner. i am guessing you are thinking of St. Brigid's in Westbury. Do you have family in the area? Maybe they can assist.
Best thing to do is call the parish and see what they say. All of the parishes on Long Island belong to the same diocese.
I'm sure if you are willing to make a donation, that will "grease the skids" so to speak.
I don't think the churches are restrictive so much in respect of non-parishioners, rather than the need to complete "pre-cana" "education" programs (which may need to be done locally) and the fact that folks typically plan weddings more than 6 months in advance around here so getting a date, particularly in September, could be an obstacle. But any such restrictions are local and not uniform. I have been to weddings of non-locals at catholic churches on Shelter Island, and in Mattituck and Southampton. You might do better at the churches in tourist areas on the east end of LI. Are you focused on a particular part of Long Island? Below is a link with a list of LI catholic churches. You are probably going to need to contact the churches to see availability and what they require in terms of pre-cana/planning/etc.
Catholic Churches in towns that are now more Jewish or Asian etc are much more flexible. Great Neck is a very large church considering town was mainly Catholic when built but town now has much much less Catholics. It is a beautful church.
Great Neck and Lawrence may have last minute dates and will handle non residents.
St. Mary's in Manhaset for instance that is a heavy Catholic town as well as Garden City, those dates are booked months ahead of time.
Catholic Churches in towns that are now more Jewish or Asian etc are much more flexible. Great Neck is a very large church considering town was mainly Catholic when built but town now has much much less Catholics. It is a beautful church.
Great Neck and Lawrence may have last minute dates and will handle non residents.
St. Mary's in Manhaset for instance that is a heavy Catholic town as well as Garden City, those dates are booked months ahead of time.
The above has some misinformation I am afraid. The "flexibility" you are talking about has nothing to do with non residents. The Catholic populations of those areas, as you pointed out have switched demographically and therefore the number of weddings in those parishes have decreased. I know St. Aloysius quite well. Great Neck was always a largely Jewish population as well as a significant Catholic population. The demographic is still Jewish, but the Asian including Indian, population have increased significantly and the Catholic population has decreased. Lawrence is still a predominantly Jewish area.
Many weddings are booked a year or more in advance in most parishes for the most popular months. Sept - Oct. and May - June There are Pre-cana classes and interviews that are a mandatory party of any Catholic wedding planning and this will play into the "flexibility" that you are speaking of. I know in my former parish that each case is taken on an individual basis and the fact that you are not a parishioner is probably the least important if even lightly considered as a factor in scheduling a wedding. If you reside outside of a parish even a neighboring one, a release for marriage is/was required. The considerations which will matter is baptized vs. non-baptized, (Catholic vs. non-Catholic), previously married, annulled, etc.
While some of what you stated is true, I wanted to be clear for the sake of those that may read this and believe it has something to do with being non residents.
The above has some misinformation I am afraid. The "flexibility" you are talking about has nothing to do with non residents. The Catholic populations of those areas, as you pointed out have switched demographically and therefore the number of weddings in those parishes have decreased. I know St. Aloysius quite well. Great Neck was always a largely Jewish population as well as a significant Catholic population. The demographic is still Jewish, but the Asian including Indian, population have increased significantly and the Catholic population has decreased. Lawrence is still a predominantly Jewish area.
Many weddings are booked a year or more in advance in most parishes for the most popular months. Sept - Oct. and May - June There are Pre-cana classes and interviews that are a mandatory party of any Catholic wedding planning and this will play into the "flexibility" that you are speaking of. I know in my former parish that each case is taken on an individual basis and the fact that you are not a parishioner is probably the least important if even lightly considered as a factor in scheduling a wedding. If you reside outside of a parish even a neighboring one, a release for marriage is/was required. The considerations which will matter is baptized vs. non-baptized, (Catholic vs. non-Catholic), previously married, annulled, etc.
While some of what you stated is true, I wanted to be clear for the sake of those that may read this and believe it has something to do with being non residents.
There was not a single Jew in Great Neck when St. Aloysius was built. Eddie Cantor was the first Jew to move to Great Neck. His house he built is still there. Back in the Vaudiville era the Great Neck Playhouse was a big stop and soon Grocho Marx moved to Great Neck too.
It was a great location for the Jews also in the Garment business as well as actors and folks working on Broadway and Vaudville. With the short train ride between both it was a great location.
Many churchs such as st.Mary's in Manhasset and the small chapel in Oyster Bay St. Dominicks have strict rules that it is hard for a non-parishioner to book a date. If I am dropping 5k a year in collection box and some dead beat from Queens books a date I want cause it is near his catering hall all Hell was breaking loose.
I actually had the choice of four churches when I got married. My Parents church, My Brides Parents church, the church by my Fiance's apt and the church by my apt.
Any other church is was back of the line after parisioners got first dibs.
The poster said he is a Catholic Marrying a Catholic and I assume they have copies of birth certificates. Pre-cana is pretty quick.
There was not a single Jew in Great Neck when St. Aloysius was built. Eddie Cantor was the first Jew to move to Great Neck. His house he built is still there. Back in the Vaudiville era the Great Neck Playhouse was a big stop and soon Grocho Marx moved to Great Neck too.
It was a great location for the Jews also in the Garment business as well as actors and folks working on Broadway and Vaudville. With the short train ride between both it was a great location.
Many churchs such as st.Mary's in Manhasset and the small chapel in Oyster Bay St. Dominicks have strict rules that it is hard for a non-parishioner to book a date. If I am dropping 5k a year in collection box and some dead beat from Queens books a date I want cause it is near his catering hall all Hell was breaking loose.
I actually had the choice of four churches when I got married. My Parents church, My Brides Parents church, the church by my Fiance's apt and the church by my apt.
Any other church is was back of the line after parisioners got first dibs.
The poster said he is a Catholic Marrying a Catholic and I assume they have copies of birth certificates. Pre-cana is pretty quick.
I seriously doubt there is a "rule" written anywhere. Both St. Mary's and St. Dom's have large populations and therefore the likelihood that dates would be available would dictate the appearance of a rule. The "first come, first served rule" generally handles this sort of stuff. Now is it possible that major contributor tried to pull rank in such a situation? I am sure it has happened but the overall process including, initial interview, pre-cana and over the past several years the addition of FOCCUS, all have given much more before hand "work". The church offices know that especially on LI, catering halls are booked years in advance, so to kick a bride off her scheduled time and date impacts an awful lot. Photographer, florists, hair and makeup, flights. guest, honeymoons etc. The idea that a parish would not accept a non resident that calls in advance and the date is opened to save it for a parishioner that may/may not call is unfathomable.
In my former parish, until a couple has completed all the above or if there are special circumstances that a priest has signed off on, the date goes in pencil. If I were to call and request a certain date and time, (parishioner or otherwise) and the date was taken, the secretary will state that the date is penciled in already or in ink. Generally speaking, as a bride I am calling and asking if my 1st, 2nd and 3rd choices are available and then the decision is made. Some brides determine the date by the date the catering place has available and then calls the church, others vice versa. If you are a year and a half or more ahead, the chances are better that you will have your choice of date in the church.
I got married in the small chapel at St Doms and that does book up real quick. I had a one year engagement so we quickly on phone got a a few catering halls we liked got their dates they were available and then ran to St. Doms asap. Since we were doing it with "only" one years notice the only catering hall available one year out at the time St. Doms was available so was the Millridge. It turned out fine as they were very close together.
St.Doms the big church is more available, but it is big and modern and if you have a small wedding it looks silly. 70-80 people they get lost.
I went to a wedding in huge st Als in Great Neck where a lot of guests were driving in from out of town. There was a three hour gap between wedding and reception so only like 50 people at a church that can seat one thousand. Funny the walk down the aisle. She looked like she wanted to run.
St. Pats come to think of it in Manhattan will often do small weddings in a part of the church while it is still open. That is a good choice too.
I am hoping that someone may be able to help. I just got engaged at the weekend. My Fiancee and I are planning a trip to the US later this year and were hoping to get married in Long Island on the 29th September. We have found a beautiful church in Westbury but I have just been told that Catholic Churches in Long Island can be quite strict if you are not a parishioner.
My finacee and I are both Catholic and would love to be able to get married in a catholic church. We don't mind if we have to pay fees or donations but we would like to find one asap so we can book our date and continue to plan our trip. I would greatly appreciate if anyone could recommend a church or advise of any restriction with non residents getting married in Long Island.
Thanks in advance
Caroline
Speak with someone within your parish or diocese in Ireland. It might be more helpful to have them open the line of communication with the parish here on LI.
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