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Heres the situation (this is LONG so please bear with me): I have a senior citizen friend (88 years old) whom I have been taking care of for over a decade now. She has no family, friends, except me, to rely on. All these years i have been driving her wherever she needed to go. Supermarket, doctor appointments, pharmacy, bank, shopping mall, laundromat, etc, etc.
On the property she is living in is a private one family house. The previous owner converted the attached one car garage into an apartment as well as added an illegal apartment in the basement.
When my senior citizen friend moved into this house, her landlord lived here too. My friend was at first moved into an upstairs bedroom for a while. Then downstairs into the illegal apartment for a number of years. Then a tennant blew the whistle to the town about the illegal apartment which resulted in the basement apartment closed and my friend being moved back upstairs.
The previous owner sold the house to the current owner. The current owner didnt want my friend living in the same house with her and wanted my friend out of that upstairs bedroom. So she moved my friend into the garage apartment. This was a slight improvement in her living conditions as she had more privacy, her own bathroom and a larger living area (but no kitchen) and a seperate entrance (higher rent though).
The seperate entrance is at the rear of the house so i have to go up the driveway and around the side of the house to get to this entrance.
Just before she was moved into the garage apartment, her health began taking a turn for the worse. She became much more weaker. It fell on me to have her lean on me when she walked, to walk her from the house, to my car and back again. As well as bring her groceries to her as she didnt have the strength to carry anything heavy.
After she moved into the garage apartment, she steadilly got weaker to the point where she couldnt and didnt want to leave her apartment. So it fell on my to fetch her prescriptions, do her grocery shopping for her, etc.
After the very first few times of doing things like this, recently i was sitting in her apartment with her (brought her and assembled a bench seat for her shower) when her landlord, the new owner, popped in. She informed me that she noticed me coming and going on her property and from now on expected me to knock on her front door to announce my arrival to her before i could go into the backyard plus she said something vague about how "arrangements" had to be made before i could be allowed to visit my friend on the property. And the landlord didnt want my car parked where it was (which was in front of the property next door, which she doesnt own). I asked her where then should I park. She said across the street.
A few days later my friend called me up, telling me that she wanted to go to a medical clinic (allows walk ins) to do something about her weakening health. I agreed to take her on a certain day. I also got a friend of mine, an honorary fireman, to go with me to help me escort her to the clinic and back home again.
On that day i called up to let her know that i was on my way to pick her up to take her to the clinic. Only to be told by my friend that she couldnt go to the clinic. She couldnt walk on her legs anymore. She wasnt paralyzed or anything like that. She just didnt have the strength to stand up anymore. She had to crawl on the floor to get anywhere. I raced over with my friend. I asked her if she wanted me to call an ambulance for her. She refused. She didnt want to go to the hospital. Over the phone i told her that she needed to unlock the door so that i can enter her place. So she had to crawl to her door to unlock it, then waited on the floor for my arrival.
My fireman friend and I arrived and he picked her up and placed her in a chair. We spent the next half hour or so trying to talk her into allowing us to call an ambulance to take her to a hospital, but she still refused. She said she thought this was only temporary and her condition would improve with a little rest. We both insisted that chances were good that it wasnt going to fix itself, she needed help. She agreed, but still refused to go to the hospital.
We sat with her for another hour or so, just talking, every now and then trying to get her to bend to agreeing to go to the hospital. But she still refused. There was nothing we could do. So, with her permission, we picked her up and carried her to the bedroom so that we could place her in bed before leaving.
The next day she was expecting delivery of a small fridge for her place. Normally i wasnt planning on coming over on this day, but seeing the condition she was in, i decided to stay with her to wait the arrival of the new fridge. I brought over some bottled water for her to drink and some dvds for us to watch while we waited for delivery. The delivery didnt come. As it turned out, the deliverer had cancelled the shipment for that day and was waiting on my friend to reschedule a new delivery.
I stayed with my friend for a few hours more before leaving around 7:30 pm. Promising her that i would return the next day with some groceries for her as well as make more plans to get her to a doctor instead of a hospital. She gave me her key so that i could let myself in and she wouldnt have to crawl to the door to unlock it. I offered to carry her back to her bedroom to put her back in bed, but she declined. She wanted to sit up and said she could crawl back into her bedroom. So I (reluctantly) left her there in the chair.
Next day I bought the groceries, returned to my friends place (parking across the street). As i was walking up the driveway, the landlord popped out from her front door, yelling at me about how many times I've been over so far the past few days and never knocking on her door beforehand like she demanded. What with me worrying about my friends worsening health over the past few days and the fact that she cant walk, I had totally forgotten to knock. I tried to explain this, but she thought i was lying. She had no clue that her tennant couldnt walk. She asked me how i got in if my friend couldnt walk. I explained that she had to crawl on the floor. She still thought i was lying. She accused me of staying over. Claiming that i stayed over the entire previous evening. I denied this, saying how i left for my own home in the evening (at around 7:30). She refused to believe this too.
Anyways, i went back to my friends apartment with the groceries. She was in her bedroom. She was laying on the floor. She had slept on the floor the entire night. She didnt have the strength to climb back up into bed on her own. With her permission, i picked her up and carried her to the living room so that she could sit.
Gave her the groceries, and we talked. I assured her of the arrangements that were being made to take her to the doctor instead of the hospital as she wished (I already purchased a wheelchair so that i could get her out of the apartment and to wherever she needs to go). I also took her mattress off the bed frame and placed it on the floor so that she could sleep on that instead of directly on the floor and wouldnt have to try to climb back into bed.
My visit concluded, i decided to go to the front door of the house to apologize to the owner as well as explain the reasons for my frequent visits. Normally i came over only once every 2-4 weeks. But the recent events of my friend all of the sudden unable to walk required me to come over much more often. The owner wasnt home, but her teen daughter was. So i explained to her the reasons for me coming over and asked her to tell her mother. She said she would.
While i was on the road i got a call from an unfamiliar number. It turned out to be my friends landlord. She said how after i left she called the police on me and how if i ever stepped foot on her property again, she'd have me arrested. She let me explain to her the reasons for my frequent visits. (She still thought i was staying over instead of just visiting). I pointed out how i had to take my friend to the doctor and such. She calmed down some and agreed to let me come visit my friend again, but only if and when i call her, the landlord, on the phone first each and every time. I agreed to this.
No, my friend doesnt have a lease. Never did.
Does her landlord really have the right to require me to phone her ahead of time to let her know i will be visiting with my friend? Can she actually have me arrested for coming on to her property for visiting with my friend whether or not i call the landlord ahead of time? What are my friends rights regarding having people visit with her?
Status:
"Let this year be over..."
(set 21 days ago)
Location: Where my bills arrive
19,219 posts, read 17,091,524 times
Reputation: 15538
Call social services and get her the hell out of there. Even if the apartment was legal which it isn't your description of her declining health warrants that she be moved to some type of communal living where she is not alone. Let the landlord call the cops, what are they going to do when they arrive at the scene and you tell them you are checking on an elderly friend who rents the illegal apartment arrest you? I don't think so. Any renter is allowed reasonable visits from whoever without having to notify the landlord so I wouldn't worry about it.
A new wrinkle: the landlord is demanding an extra 100 bucks a week (which my friend can't afford) for cleaning or she is threatening to throw my friend out in 30 days.
You elderly friend better get to a doctor before she dies. At that age and condition something is defiently going on. As for the landlord screw her typical self important long island prick. I really doubt any cop with half a brain would entertain that nut for a trespass charge.
When your friend is finally sent to a hospice, she should hand her keys to a homeless dude. Some Landlords deserve the headaches.
But VA Yankee pretty much has it spot on. You've got your priorities mixed. You shouldn't be caring about what an idiot LL thinks she can do. You should be calling social services or something to figure out how to get her out of the home and taken care of properly.
Ive been spending years trying to get her into a new, better place. She doesnt want to go into a "home". She wants her own place. She was on a waiting list for section 8, and they finally sent her the application papers, but she couldnt furnish all the paperwork they required and in the time required. So they kicked her off section 8.
Last edited by moviesguy; 11-13-2016 at 07:26 PM..
Reason: Spelling
Status:
"Let this year be over..."
(set 21 days ago)
Location: Where my bills arrive
19,219 posts, read 17,091,524 times
Reputation: 15538
Then it's time for social services to be involved or she will either be found dead, injured or sitting on the curb in 30 days when she is evicted. One thing you learn when taking care of an elderly family member (or friend in your case) that there comes a time when you become the parent and they become the child, you do what has to be done for their safety and well being. She has already demonstrated her inability to live by herself, she needs to move to a home whether she wants it or not.
Wow! So the focus of this problem is WRONG on so many levels. This 88 year old needs to get the proper services. Can not blame the landlord for wanting a tenant that brings drama out. Remember...this is THEIR home they live there too. This is one reason why landlords now are DENYING anyone they feel might disrupt their lives in any way. My friend & a few family members rent LOTS of apts on LI & in the Bronx. On LI I was just told that they set new restrictions on who they will approve. No owner occupied rental will even entertain elderly anymore as tenants. The laws here in NY are on the tenants side. Due to that landlords are much more careful who they will approve. They take the wrong tenant. They get screwed. Landlords have to be pro-active to protect themselves.
Your friend needs to step up. If she can't. And that seems to be the case as you say she has no one. She needs someone appointed to help her. But the LL is trying to protect themselves here. As for the car parking. That has been a problem with apts in private homes for years. The neighbors get PISSED! They do not want another neighbors tenants parking in front of their home. These Landlords that rent apts know this. And if their apt is illegal & neighbors are not happy in any way then they will report that illegal apt. So many strained relationships with neighbors over this. Which is also why landlords are saying 1 person only for their rentals too. The more people...more cars. More visitors. This landlord wants her out because she sees nothing but trouble ahead. This person needs round the clock 24/7 care. The LL probably does not want to have to deal with there ALWAYS being a 2nd person there in apt now. Her rent probably includes all utilities. Right? Well why should the LL absorb the extra costs a 2nd person would bring? They will use more utilities.
LL is getting pro-active NOW. Probably because she can see the future if this tenant stays. It will no longer just be 1 person living there.The LL probably does not want a stranger there often. Remember the LL's do not get the opportunity to Background & Credit check a tenants "visitors". They have the right to know WHO will be in their home at all times. Especially if they will be there for longer than just a "little" visit for a few hours. Which WILL happen when this tenant gets the home care she needs. Apts in a owner occupied rental are NOT suppose to be used as a Nursing Home.
First off I will say this. Your friends rental is not your typical rental. Like in a multi-family or large apt complex. She is living in someone's own personal private home. At this point you should be focusing on getting this 88 year old person into the PROPER living situation. Because that landlord/homeowner does have the legal right to do what they are doing. These landlords that rent space within their own personal homes are very different than the apts that are NOT owner occupied.
Ive been spending years trying to get her into a new, better place. She doesnt want to go into a "home". She wants her own place. She was on a waiting list for section 8, and they finally sent her the application papers, but she couldnt furnish all the paperwork they required and in the time required. So they kicked her off section 8.
Well at this point at 88 years old that kind of thinking goes out the door. Especially on LI. Rentals are very hard to come by & pretty non-existent for an 88 year old sick person. At this point if she truly has no one to help care for her she really has no choice.
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