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Or could be that after 4 generations of their family living in Long Island, they see themselves as long detached from new arrivals who of course have a wider cultural gap than other Long Islanders (for good reasons). If what she says about her lineage is correct, her family is more established in America than Ted Cruz. I don't see these sentiments of not wanting to move to Herricks as being unreasonable.
None of which matters one iota to the people of Garden City, many of whom live there precisely because it is not a diverse community. Blacks have been here longer than most, do you think they'd feel welcome there simply because they're "more established in America"?
No one gives a single solitary eff about your diverse ideals when it comes to their own backyards. People are tribal, always will be. Hundreds of years of experimentation have proven this to be true.
JMO, but the focus here is on how assimilated the OP and her family are. Good for you, that is what America is about. But that will get you nowhere in GC because that is not the real world for the majority of GC. Hubby grew up there and we still have friends who live there. He grew up by St. Annes, not the hoi polloi section, very middle class.
Can you get by in GC? Sure, but the most welcoming of people, who accept everyone for what they are and who they are, will certainly feel "out of place" amongst those that don't share these feelings towards others. There are certainly enough that live there that still believe in the "them vs us" thinking.
For my money, at 1 million dollars, that could be an expensive mistake and I am not even talking about the hassle of moving again, if I am unhappy. Personally, I like to stack the cards in my favor as best as I can when making a decision. Given the variables in this case in my mind it would make it a no go for me. One never knows what people will do or say no matter where they choose but, GC while hitting many of your points, never has been the bastion of assimilation. Good luck with your decision.
We have decided that Garden City would not be an appropriate community for us. as Nuts2uiam pointed out - we are unwilling to make a potentially expensive mistake. We will instead be looking into Great Neck, Roslyn, Port Washington, and Syosset.
These communities seem to be far more diverse and open to diversity than GC, and have excellent schools.
Does anyone have any feedback on these individual places? Namely:
1) where would i get the most house for my money?
2) taxes
3) things to do in/around town
4) community involvement (are residents engaged in the going ons of the town)
5) activities for kids (little league, parades, festivals, etc)
None of which matters one iota to the people of Garden City, many of whom live there precisely because it is not a diverse community. Blacks have been here longer than most, do you think they'd feel welcome there simply because they're "more established in America"?
No one gives a single solitary eff about your diverse ideals when it comes to their own backyards. People are tribal, always will be. Hundreds of years of experimentation have proven this to be true.
It goes with being a minority. You manage occasional discrimination as long as it does not cross the red line. But you dont have to run away from it, which is what you want the OP to do. 85dumbo, LegalDiva and OBH are fine examples of people who managed these differences. I dont see them regret living in america.
I grew up and lived til I retired in a neighboring town to Roslyn and I have a former neighbor, though now retired who taught in Roslyn and one who currently teaches in Syosset. Either of those two towns are ideal for what you are looking for. I am more familiar with Roslyn and it has a great downtown area and a vibrant school district. The conversations among these teachers and I, often were in terms of how similar they were and how diverse they were. Both are well respected and represented in the Intel/Westinghouse scholarship programs and both have excellent STEM programs.
JMO, either place is far and away better than GC given your situation.
It goes with being a minority. You manage occasional discrimination as long as it does not cross the red line. But you dont have to run away from it, which is what you want the OP to do. 85dumbo, LegalDiva and OBH are fine examples of people who managed these differences. I dont see them regret living in america.
It's fun living vicariously with someone else's $1 million isn't it?
I think Twingle and Nuts2u are spot on. I think you would be more comfortable in a community that has several different cultures. There doesn't have to be another Muslim family in the community, but there needs to be other cultural groups. In my experience, it is very hard to live in a community where most everyone belongs to the same single culture and that is not yours.
As other pointed out, most people will "tolerate" your own culture and will have no problem if on occasion "share your culture," for example bringing your signature middle eastern dish to a school bake sale. But start making special requests because of your "culture" and there will be issues. For example, abstaining from eating during Ramadan during some social function that revolves around food or requesting that your kids don't have any snack/birthday party food, etc. that uses a nonhallal meat product. Do it too often and no one will say anything to your face, but they will make remarks behind your back and develop an unspoken "attitude" that will eventually make you and your kids uncomfortable. Better to be in a community that are accustomed to handling special cultural/religious requests from all sorts of ethnicities. Legal Diva and OBH live in communities that have a variety of different ethnicities, even if theirs is the minority.
Your kids are young. As they grow older, school will become a big part of your lives. Not just the academics, but all of the school community stuff. Garden City is very different from NYC. If you are going to spend one million on a home, you have so many other choices than the one or two communities on Long Island that consist of a very entrenched homogeneous population that has not changed for over 70 or more years.
I think Twingle and Nuts2u are spot on. I think you would be more comfortable in a community that has several different cultures. There doesn't have to be another Muslim family in the community, but there needs to be other cultural groups. In my experience, it is very hard to live in a community where most everyone belongs to the same single culture and that is not yours.
As other pointed out, most people will "tolerate" your own culture and will have no problem if on occasion "share your culture," for example bringing your signature middle eastern dish to a school bake sale. But start making special requests because of your "culture" and there will be issues. For example, abstaining from eating during Ramadan during some social function that revolves around food or requesting that your kids don't have any snack/birthday party food, etc. that uses a nonhallal meat product. Do it too often and no one will say anything to your face, but they will make remarks behind your back and develop an unspoken "attitude" that will eventually make you and your kids uncomfortable. Better to be in a community that are accustomed to handling special cultural/religious requests from all sorts of ethnicities. Legal Diva and OBH live in communities that have a variety of different ethnicities, even if theirs is the minority.
Your kids are young. As they grow older, school will become a big part of your lives. Not just the academics, but all of the school community stuff. Garden City is very different from NYC. If you are going to spend one million on a home, you have so many other choices than the one or two communities on Long Island that consist of a very entrenched homogeneous population that has not changed for over 70 or more years.
Thank you Coney. You're absolutely right. It was because of all these considerations that i asked my question in the first place. It's certainly good to know and critical for us to be made aware before investing in a house and putting down roots to raise kids.
If i'm gonna be spending $1m on a home im certainly not interested in pumping it into a community that doesn't want us.
I appreciate your candor.
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