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30 year old man here. After years of looking for the right one and after years of saving, I finally purchased abeautiful (lower level) co-op on Long Island. Long story short, above me lives a single elderly woman. I have never met her in person yet, however in the first few weeks of living there, I have met her blasting television noise coming from upstairs. It was a nightmare come true as my entire co-op, that I went through hell to get into(mortgage process was long and rough) and dumped my life savings into, was all perfect and on the VERY first night, there it was, the television bass/noise coming straight through the ceiling. But it gets worse, as most nights the television stays on well past 10pm, lastnight until 11:30pm for example, and it is on so loud, that it lingers into my bedroom. For someone who has to be up at 5:30am, I was disgusted that this was actually happening and I apparently have an upstairs neighbor who is either clueless, or just doesn’t care. Last night I finally almost lost it, as I got out of bed around 11pm, went into the small common area, and was just shocked as I listened up by her door, and heard what you’d think was a MOVIE THEATRE inside.
I went back into my apartment, through my living room which was borderline vibrating, and backinto my bedroom as I came close to crying my 30 year old self to sleep, knowing that I now have to go that awful route of speaking to her, an elderly woman, likely in her 70s, about this all. Lord knows this will open the door for more problems, but the reality is I cannot live like this for months, let alone years which I plan to live there. I know at the end of the day, co-op or not, this is apartment life, and noise is expected at times, but respect is as well,and old or not, this woman needs to know I have to sleep. Make no mistake, the noise is DEFINITELY loud to begin with while I hang out in my living room. I can almost make out the words of the people speaking on the TV. But having this on that loud past 10pm is a whole other ball game. Maybe she even falls asleep with it on and doesn’t realize, I have no idea. If I have to tell the super I am prepared to, but I’d also like to get everyone else’s thoughts here, too.
You write the neighbor is "clueless, or just doesn’t care." More likely she is hard of hearing and just doesn't realize how loud the TV is (unaware, but not necessarily "clueless.")
Yes, it is rough when you have to approach neighbors on a negative issue. You may also be making this a much bigger problem than it is.
Why not simply talk to her? It doesn't have to be nasty or confrontational. Introduce yourself. Be nice. Be polite. Explain the situation "I'm sure you don't realize this, but your TV is loud enough to be heard downstairs." or something like that.
Maybe she will understand and turn it down. Maybe headphones or some other hearing device can be utilized if she has trouble hearing at normal volumes.
Assume the best. Approach it with a positive attitude as a friendly neighbor and you may be surprised at the results.
If things don't go well, then you have other options. As a co-op, there are very likely noise rules in the by-laws. If you need to, talk to a board member and ask what your options are.
I agree with your words. It's a problem that is actually FIXABLE (i.e. headphones, turn tv down, bring couch closer to tv if she's hard of hearing) as opposed to these co-op/apartment horror stories about kids running around on top of people.
But I wrote 'clueless' or 'doesn't care' bc let's be realistic, hard of hearing or not, unless she is not 'with it', she should know the thing is too loud and there is a tenant below her that is trying to live not to mention likely trying to get sleep which I am after 10pm.
30 year old man here. After years of looking for the right one and after years of saving, I finally purchased abeautiful (lower level) co-op on Long Island. Long story short, above me lives a single elderly woman. I have never met her in person yet, however in the first few weeks of living there, I have met her blasting television noise coming from upstairs. It was a nightmare come true as my entire co-op, that I went through hell to get into(mortgage process was long and rough) and dumped my life savings into, was all perfect and on the VERY first night, there it was, the television bass/noise coming straight through the ceiling. But it gets worse, as most nights the television stays on well past 10pm, lastnight until 11:30pm for example, and it is on so loud, that it lingers into my bedroom. For someone who has to be up at 5:30am, I was disgusted that this was actually happening and I apparently have an upstairs neighbor who is either clueless, or just doesn’t care. Last night I finally almost lost it, as I got out of bed around 11pm, went into the small common area, and was just shocked as I listened up by her door, and heard what you’d think was a MOVIE THEATRE inside.
I went back into my apartment, through my living room which was borderline vibrating, and backinto my bedroom as I came close to crying my 30 year old self to sleep, knowing that I now have to go that awful route of speaking to her, an elderly woman, likely in her 70s, about this all. Lord knows this will open the door for more problems, but the reality is I cannot live like this for months, let alone years which I plan to live there. I know at the end of the day, co-op or not, this is apartment life, and noise is expected at times, but respect is as well,and old or not, this woman needs to know I have to sleep. Make no mistake, the noise is DEFINITELY loud to begin with while I hang out in my living room. I can almost make out the words of the people speaking on the TV. But having this on that loud past 10pm is a whole other ball game. Maybe she even falls asleep with it on and doesn’t realize, I have no idea. If I have to tell the super I am prepared to, but I’d also like to get everyone else’s thoughts here, too.
As a former coop owner I will tell you to go to your board. We lived next door to a family member of a tragic NY victim of a terrible accident/crime. The parents as a result of dealing with the tragedy (and it truly was) devoted all their attention to that party and their own kids suffered and so did we. Absent parents, found us with parties any night of the week. The board finally stepped in once we sat down with them. My neighbor had a decibel recorder (I think that is what it he called it) and it calibrated the noise and the time. We nicely and privately sat down with the board and explained what our problem was. The board members offered to come at a phone call and they did and heard what we were dealing with so we would not be labeled as curmudgeons. They contacted the family and said they were in the common hall and heard very loud noise well after midnight. They were told that this was a warning and in the future they would be assessed a penalty on their maintenance. They wound up getting a very hefty fine as they were never home and finally they took notice.
Go to the board and ask if someone could come and listen to what you are experiencing and again emphasize that you don't want trouble, you are new and you understand she is elderly. They can send a letter and say they heard the noise and the tv needs to be turned down. If it continues, keep the board apprised and again suggest this is a QOL problem that the board will need to deal with.
But I wrote 'clueless' or 'doesn't care' bc let's be realistic, hard of hearing or not, unless she is not 'with it', she should know the thing is too loud and there is a tenant below her that is trying to live not to mention likely trying to get sleep which I am after 10pm.
When I was 30, I would have arrived at the same conclusion.
Some years later, I have dealt with many aging relatives. It's not that they are inconsiderate or trying to be a problem. They simply don't realize it.
If you had trouble hearing and turned the TV to "10" so you could hear it... it would sound "normal" volume to you. If you lived alone (with no one yelling to "turn that thing down") you have no reference point to realize it is too loud.
Just showing one possible "other" side to it.
You do seem pretty set in your opinion of the situation. This would probably affect your ability to handle it in a congenial FTF fashion. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and try the "nice" method first.
For you, "nuts2uiam" suggestion of going directly to the board is probably your best option.
Deaf. It is a very common issue in condos/coops.
TV or radio blasting. You can either approach her directly and maturely discuss the situation, or contact the management office and they will address it via a letter or maybe even a phone call. I advise you to try direct contact first because more than likely if she is contacted by management she will know where the complaint came from and may very well take it the wrong way.
I also say go to the board. As someone who has relatives who are very heard of hearing (my mom is 71 and blasts her TV) I don't think it's meant to be inconsiderate she might not realize she has it that loud. It would bother me too if I had to live with that noise. When I go to my mom's I lower the volume on her TV LOL.
@joe461 . .. you said you like to go the "nice" method first, but isn't running to the co-op board something I should want to avoid? I would think speaking to her directly first is the right way of going about things.
I do not want any trouble whatsoever and the fact that I even have to speak to this woman three weeks into my time here is extremely upsetting. But it has to be done. I felt like a zombie today after not getting enough sleep.
@joe461 . .. you said you like to go the "nice" method first, but isn't running to the co-op board something I should want to avoid? I would think speaking to her directly first is the right way of going about things.
I do not want any trouble whatsoever and the fact that I even have to speak to this woman three weeks into my time here is extremely upsetting. But it has to be done. I felt like a zombie today after not getting enough sleep.
If you RE-READ my post you will see that I said, speak with the board and ask them to come and LISTEN to what you are going through. They can then say they were in the hall and heard this loud noise. That way you are not put in a bad position as a new neighbor. Of course you can go personally, but then if it backfires and you have to go to the board there are no secrets. IF you can explain it to the board that you understand she is older and may not hear and you prefer if they could say they heard it as you don't want any trouble. Then the next time you can go and say I am new here bah, blah, blah etc. directly to the new neighbor.
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