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Just a FYI FL, GA, TX, AZ in areas that are popular are not cheap. 2k sq ft homes in Tampa are 600k, My cousin just sold his 1900 sq ft crib on 1/2 acre for 638k in Atlanta.
You're so right about that. Friends of ours sold their 1500 sf ranch on a property that's not even 1/4 acre in a Dallas suburb for $630K earlier this year. If I recall correctly their taxes were something like $7000/yr. At least they were not also in an HOA.
Yah, the ship has sailed on cheap housing anywhere there are good jobs. The biggest difference is property taxes. The most common complaint here is from renters who moved here for better QOL, only to find that if you're not a homeowner, it's not really worth it everything else considered. If you told me 11 years ago I would double my money the way we did in NY I would have laughed at you. But that's where we are now. My house is 25 years old but where I live is like living in western Nassau on Long Island - you're paying for convenience.
I'm not trying to discourage you, OP, from moving. Just do your homework first and above all - do NOT get sucked into buying a shiny new house just because it is new and big. The biggest reason we didn't buy new when we moved here was because we were not going to have control over the process from 600 miles away. If you want to move, move - but do your research here and make sure you check out older homes in great neighborhoods - just like you would do on LI.
No discouraging me! I like living here, i'm not moving until "hopefully" retire in my early 50's and I can't do it in NY. We already own a home in Florida we rent to snowbirds. We bought to potentially live in. It was a bad investment as purchase price and rent are barley profitable. In 15 years the mortgage will basically be done did a 20 and owned it for 3. The prices in this area will keep rising as its under developed area on the gulf 30 min from Tampa.
I had my LI home built, you have to be on top of everything. My contractor was good, you can't trust any of them. If my wife wasn't a tenured teacher, I think we would of gone back to Florida before we had kids.
I call BS on that LOL and I am a wife men need to man up and stop being wussies and allowing their wives to control them. When there is a decision to be made my husband and I make it together.
Watch it. Karen’s hear you spewing such blasphemy and you will be shunned and cancelled.
The two of you need to be on the same page. If you both get married and move, as soon as there is the first fight, she'll bring up how she moved for you and you took her away from her family. She'll resent you. If you stay and continue to struggle financially, you'll end up resenting her. It's a lose-lose situation. Find someone who will share your long-term goals and dreams.
I’m the king of my castle.
My wife mouthed off to me once. Once.
She aint going nowhere! You aint going nowhere! When the kids leave for college in 20 years you'll still be begging to sell and gtfoh and she'll be going to dinner with her gal pals! Sorry for the tough love!
But my view is that I'd rather have a new bigger house for 300-400k, bigger yard, more property, lower cost of living and better QOL somewhere else, whereas she is more "emotional" and thinks that she would miss her family too much (esp at holidays, birthdays, events, etc) and also doesn't want to leave her job. She claims she would take a big pay cut and go from making about 120k to 90-100k. A 20-30k decrease.
However, we rent right now and I refuse to pay 700K for a 50 year old fixer upper if or when we get married. Anything new is 900K plus which is not realistic for us.
I was looking at FL, GA, NC, SC, TX, or AZ. You could get a brand new construction there for half the price of here.
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She should NOT need to take a large pay cut. I'd advise her to see some recruiters to verify, but honestly if she gets a new job before you move, they will know they are competing against the current salary and if they want her, make them match it, or move to the next opportunity.
In addition, some Southeastern markets are so employment hot, even w/o an offer first, the salary offers would be better than she expects, and the COL is far, far lower. I am assuming at the salary mentioned, she is an educated, white collar professional. If she makes 100-120k, she is not a staff level accountant, but at a higher rank. That translates to better than average industry salaries, in any occupation, any state, than staff level roles.
Now as for her see family concerns, why not meet her halfway? Budget several trips north, and only explore areas within say 45 minutes of an airport with regular flights to Islip? Southwest Airline cities map would fit that bill of particulars well.
I lived near Nashville 17 years, and could always get Nashville-Hartford or LaGuardia round trips under $300 (often under $240) every year, and with your COL change, the extra cost of travel eats very little of it, btw. Priceline 3 Star hotel deals also saved me 40% or more vs list.
The trick will be seeking common ground, with neither of you getting 100% of what you desire, but meeting in the middle of the what's vital list of criteria. If she will not bend to meet you somewhat on what matters to you, she will make every decision your next several decades. Is that what you want?
Last edited by BobNJ1960; 10-21-2021 at 12:00 AM..
The two of you need to be on the same page. If you both get married and move, as soon as there is the first fight, she'll bring up how she moved for you and you took her away from her family. She'll resent you.
While I, for the most part, post on the general NY thread, I do occasionally look at the other NY sections. This desire to be near family isin't necessarily a bad thing. Has a lot to do with the level of attachment to family/friends. I have seen sons/daughters of people I know, pass up great job opportunities because of the distant location of the job offer. In addition, I have seen parents put subtle(and not so subtle) pressure on their kids, to keep them "within arm's reach." That really isin't fair to their, now grown, offspring. As mentioned in some of my posts in the past few years, one reason that brings new full-time residents to my area from downstate, NJ, Philly, is the following, " We are only a 3-4 hour drive away from family/friends." Nothing wrong with that. Just do what is right for yourself..and a spouse if there is one, and any children. That's the priority. I came back to upstate NY by choice...had seen enough of everywhere else while in the military.
While I, for the most part, post on the general NY thread, I do occasionally look at the other NY sections. This desire to be near family isin't necessarily a bad thing. Has a lot to do with the level of attachment to family/friends. I have seen sons/daughters of people I know, pass up great job opportunities because of the distant location of the job offer. In addition, I have seen parents put subtle(and not so subtle) pressure on their kids, to keep them "within arm's reach." That really isin't fair to their, now grown, offspring. As mentioned in some of my posts in the past few years, one reason that brings new full-time residents to my area from downstate, NJ, Philly, is the following, " We are only a 3-4 hour drive away from family/friends." Nothing wrong with that. Just do what is right for yourself..and a spouse if there is one, and any children. That's the priority. I came back to upstate NY by choice...had seen enough of everywhere else while in the military.
That was me. I wanted out of NY for the longest time, but we kept being guilted into staying by both of our families. Coulda had it so much better a long time ago. Shortly after losing 3/4 parents, we bailed.
The invasion of city covid refugees drove that decision into warp speed.
How old are you if you don't mind me asking? Because we are in the same boat, although I am not married yet.
I have family in other states and I see how so much better it is where they are. Lower cost of living, warm weather, nicer people, not as congested. They all have nice 3500 sq foot houses with big yards which they got for like 400k.
I know that if we get married and have kids it's over, there's no way I will be able to go with small babies to take care of here. I tell her we have to do it now, before kids.
A part of me wants to take a job and go, and see if she comes if the stakes are higher lol. If not, maybe it wasn't meant to be. But I know I don't want to have kids, buy a house and put roots here if i can help it.
I'm 41, my wife is 40, we have 3 kids. We've been married since we were 25, so its been a while...
I'm also an accountant. From what I hear, the salary range isn't much different down in NC for the same positions.
My wife is a teacher. Unfortunately getting a job up here has been a long painful process and now she's in the NYC DOE, but in the bronx, 1-2 hr commute.
If I were not dating my wife for a bunch of years before we got married, I think leaving the area at that time would have been best.
Not just cost, but mindset of those in the areas. Less living to work
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men need to man up and stop being wussies and allowing their wives to control them. When there is a decision to be made my husband and I make it together.
