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Yeah, we had to go through pre-cana. It was a load of bull. We learned about natural family planning. A lot of us were laughing and thinking, yeah right, this would never work...
Why did you bother getting married in a Catholic church if that is how you feel about it?
No, that is the point. If you want to get married in the church, there are certain obligations that go along with it, including paying the fees. Again, the focal point of the day is what goes on inside the church -- not the party afterward.
The focal point, in this couple's case, is getting married. They don't WANT to get married in a Catholic Church. "Guilting" them is not going to work.
If they are going to let themselves get pushed around by an overbearing mother-in-law, then they should either pay up, or keep quiet.
Yeah, I have a lot. Just because I go often, doesn't mean I agree with religions/churches.
Then why get married in the R.C. church?
The answer should not be to please your parents or others.
If you don't agree with religions or churches you should look elsewhere.
For the record, Pdcrnet is 100% correct on this issue. You are paying for the use of the church and to pay those that are performing during the ceremony. The amount you quoted is a little higher (about $150-$200 at most) than what I paid 7 years ago for my wedding (St. Pat's in Huntington).
You knew there would be a "donation" when you booked the church - why didn't you ask them what it was at that time. It's your fault for not being on top of it.
Yeah, we had to go through pre-cana. It was a load of bull. We learned about natural family planning. A lot of us were laughing and thinking, yeah right, this would never work...
I've heard about that. A friend was telling me that some of the questions they ask on there are "how much do you make" and "how much of your salary are you giving to the church". I'm thinking what??? I'm sorry, they have no right to that info and I would tell them right to their face. We had our ceremony in the same place as the reception and it was a very nice outdoor ceremony. Nobody complained at all about it not being in a church. Oh yeah and the priest didn't ask us what our salary was or anything like that.
You should have the ceremony where YOU want, not where someone else wants. This is YOUR wedding, not someone else's. If someone is going to never speak to you again if you do not get married in a church, then its very obvious that the said person isn't really interested in being a part of your lives.
Though being where you are in the planning and what you want to do, then I agree with gt776. Pay 300 and tell them nothing was in writing. However, put something in writing that they are in receipt of that value and have them sign it. If they refuse, move on to somewhere else preferably not in a church that's going to change the donation amount on you. And this goes for all places that you do business with for the wedding. Get receipts for every payment you make, get copies of contracts for everyone you deal with (photographer, cake, reception hall, etc....). Insist on it if they don't. Reason is that if you have it in writing that you were supposed to get item A and they switched and gave you item B and charged you more, you have a leg to stand on with those copies. I know it sounds cold and not so much fun, but truth is you have to be careful.
If a donation has a specific dollar amount, to me it's no longer a donation but the cost of doing business. If a church is charging you a fee to do business with them, let them pay taxes the same as every other company.
If a donation has a specific dollar amount, to me it's no longer a donation but the cost of doing business. If a church is charging you a fee to do business with them, let them pay taxes the same as every other company.
I got married in 1995 and I believe the "donation" was $250-300. I don't think they can charge a set fee and refuse to marry you if you don't pay. I mean they probably can, but I doubt they will. I would call the priest who is marrying you and ask him what you can do. The argument about what you are paying for everything else is age-old when it comes to the church and is neither here nor there, my response would be "I am budgeted to the penny, and you have no idea where my reception is and how much I am paying. FOr all you know it's a b-b-q in my new backyard".
Are you or your fiance members of the church? I got married in my home parish, but a lot of people who didn't belong liked to get married there - they may charge you extra if you are not a member and just using it for the ceremony.
GL. I really wouldn't worry about it. There is no reason they need that money up front. When my boys made their First Communion in May they asked for the payment in March, but I could understand that because they print programs, bought decs for the church and provided the boys with boutonierres, etc.
Though being where you are in the planning and what you want to do, then I agree with gt776. Pay 300 and tell them nothing was in writing. However, put something in writing that they are in receipt of that value and have them sign it. If they refuse, move on to somewhere else preferably not in a church that's going to change the donation amount on you. And this goes for all places that you do business with for the wedding. Get receipts for every payment you make, get copies of contracts for everyone you deal with (photographer, cake, reception hall, etc....). Insist on it if they don't. Reason is that if you have it in writing that you were supposed to get item A and they switched and gave you item B and charged you more, you have a leg to stand on with those copies. I know it sounds cold and not so much fun, but truth is you have to be careful.
I don't think that is going to work when they want the money UP FRONT (as they told her it was due a month ago).
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