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Umm..that's not a good thing. Have you heard of the law of diminishing returns? For every success story, you have tons of burned out failures in China and India.
They tried their best and failed. So what? Are you going to tell your child not to dream about playing pro baseball, because for every success story, there are tons of minor league failures who never make it? You do know that many of the IIT rejects end up going to Princeton, MIT, CalTech, etc, as a safety school? Failure to them, would be a dream for many American students.
People fail. It's a fact of life. Welcome to Capitalism. This isn't little league baseball where everyone gets a trophy for showing up.
Diminishing returns doesn't mean anything here.
Sure, the difference between studying 10 hours versus 5 hours may only be the difference between a 100 and a 95 on an exam, while the difference between studying 5 hours versus 1 hour may be the difference between an 95 and a 75...
But remember this:
The kid with the 100 is going to Harvard, and the kid with the 95 is not.
Last edited by NYCAnalyst; 11-06-2009 at 08:36 PM..
I get a laugh out of all these "my baby can read at 2 months" stories. I still have my 1st grade report card. One of the categories was "Reading Readiness"..I got a D. My parents were not upset..after all, this was the pre-Sesame Street generation.
I guess with that D in Reading Readiness I was still able to get through College and Grad School..oh the shame!!!
Even in sports and other venues parents are so competitive today. In my line of work, they can take a beautiful Sunday at a horse show and turn it into a miserable day!!
I hate to say it but this is how it works..
Not everyone is fit for a school like Harvard.
When people realize that, Long Island will be a much more chill place.
I wasn't pushed much by my parents and I still got into places like Duke/Dartmouth/Penn.
My high school experience was lax. I don't think I ever studied much for any exam- even APs.
I did 'dumb teenager' stuff like what everyone else should be doing.
I just didn't care- my parents wanted me to do well but it wasn't "EXCEL OR YOU ARE GROUNDED!!". The little perks don't matter too much.
I met the academic qualifications and took on some leadership positions (not for my resume but because I wanted to). It might be harder to get into college now than it was in 1999 but I'm willing to bet it's not much different.
I have friends who just went to state schools/"lesser" private universities who are very successful today.. people, it doesn't matter that much where you get your degree.. I mean it matters a little bit- an employer might look more favorably at a Penn degree than a Hofstra degree but it's just one piece of the whole.
You are correct, however when you read the story, notice that the parents aren't pushing these kids....
These kids are pushing themselves to achieve X or Y. They want to go to X college or Y college, and there is intense competition for admission.
If they weren't fit for a top school, then why are they trying so hard to succeed? I have to admire their work ethic and grit.
I was pushed by my parents (very heavily - I get a 98 on a test, and they ask me where the other 2 points went) until the age of 14, and then cruised through High School (nobody pushed me, I didn't study much, etc), went to an elite college, and got my a$$ kicked. I do know that parents push their kids to get into these $40K/yr private high schools, because many of those kids do go to elite colleges. And it does work - I noticed that the kids from these private schools were better at handling the work in college than I was. My RA went to a private boarding school in CT - he told me that he had to do about 1-2 hours of homework every night - per subject. Whereas I went to one of the best Catholic high schools in my area, and I can't ever remember doing more than a half hour of homework a night. I still graduated with a 3.5 from my college, but perhaps if I pushed myself more in HS, I would have carried that work ethic onto my beginning years at college?
You are correct, however when you read the story, notice that the parents aren't pushing these kids....
These kids are pushing themselves to achieve X or Y. They want to go to X college or Y college, and there is intense competition for admission.
If they weren't fit for a top school, then why are they trying so hard to succeed? I have to admire their work ethic and grit.
I was pushed by my parents (very heavily - I get a 98 on a test, and they ask me where the other 2 points went) until the age of 14, and then cruised through High School (nobody pushed me, I didn't study much, etc), went to an elite college, and got my a$$ kicked. I do know that parents push their kids to get into these $40K/yr private high schools, because many of those kids do go to elite colleges. And it does work - I noticed that the kids from these private schools were better at handling the work in college than I was. My RA went to a private boarding school in CT - he told me that he had to do about 1-2 hours of homework every night - per subject. Whereas I went to one of the best Catholic high schools in my area, and I can't ever remember doing more than a half hour of homework a night. I still graduated with a 3.5 from my college, but perhaps if I pushed myself more in HS, I would have carried that work ethic onto my beginning years at college?
Excellent points, but how many of the most driven of us would have contemplated popping someone else's prescription pill in order to stay up late enough to complete assignments?
The first young lady mentioned was attending SAT prep in addition to her other activities and academics. Assuming the parents are paying for SAT prep, taking notice of the piles of papers all over her room (as well as the insufficient amount of sleep she is getting) shouldn't they put a foot down -- if not for the child's sanity, but for her health?
The young man from Bayshore mentioned older siblings who were attending desirable schools and had won scholarships. He also indicated he felt his parents would be very disappointed with him if he didn't produce as the siblings had. A parent has to step in and teach a child how to use their time constructively, and most of all let them know that they are loved whether it's Ivy League or Community College.
Excellent points, but how many of the most driven of us would have contemplated popping someone else's prescription pill in order to stay up late enough to complete assignments?
The first young lady mentioned was attending SAT prep in addition to her other activities and academics. Assuming the parents are paying for SAT prep, taking notice of the piles of papers all over her room (as well as the insufficient amount of sleep she is getting) shouldn't they put a foot down -- if not for the child's sanity, but for her health?
The young man from Bayshore mentioned older siblings who were attending desirable schools and had won scholarships. He also indicated he felt his parents would be very disappointed with him if he didn't produce as the siblings had. A parent has to step in and teach a child how to use their time constructively, and most of all let them know that they are loved whether it's Ivy League or Community College.
Have you ever been to any elite college during finals week? Adderall and ritalin have replaced coffee as the study aid of choice. My roommate got nosebleeds from snorting adderall so much during finals week. BTW, this type of behavior doesn't stop at college either - I know many Investment Bankers on Wall Street who do coke and speed in order to stay up and pull all nighters so they can finish the pitchbook for the MD. If the NYPD wants to make some serious drug busts, they should stop looking in ghettos and focus on the Wall Street mailrooms.
Again, I don't see why this is so bad that the parents are pushing the kids to do well. If you watched the videos before, these kids in India are studying from 4-8am, and then go to regular school. They do this 7 days a week, all for the 3000 coveted spots at IIT. Compared to that, these stories of Long Islanders are nothing. Health and sanity is not an issue. These kids from India are sane, and they aren't dying from too much studying or homework.
I push myself extremely hard to get ahead in my career (I'm 23). When many 23 year olds are out partying, I'm studying for the CFA and/or GMAT. Am I doing this to please my parents? No. They are just happy that I have a white collar job and I'm not working at Starbucks. I want XYZ and I believe that I have to do ABC to get there, so I make sacrifices. This is exactly what those kids in the article are doing.
I don't understand what you mean by " A parent has to step in and teach a child how to use their time constructively"? Is studying / homework not constructive? Perhaps they should be watching the newest episode of Gossip Girl?
I do not live in LI, but I do know that many people who live there are very successful in their careers. I think it is great that these successful people are pushing their children to eventually become even more successful than they themselves are. Because isn't that one of the things America is about - having your kids live a better life than you live now?
Stay hungry kids. Someday America can be great again.
Last edited by NYCAnalyst; 11-07-2009 at 11:54 PM..
India is not and never will be a world power. The events of last November proved this. They might have the smartest kids in the planet but it obviously dident help them much in Munbai. So smart it takes them 3 days to kill 10 terrorists with 100,000 cops and soldiers in the immediate area, so smart they can't figure out that cops with WWI era Lee Enfield rifles are no match for terrorists with AK-47s and grenades.
So smart that half their country still lives in slums and shanty towns. Yeah they are real smart all right ...
India is not and never will be a world power. The events of last November proved this. They might have the smartest kids in the planet but it obviously dident help them much in Munbai. So smart it takes them 3 days to kill 10 terrorists with 100,000 cops and soldiers in the immediate area, so smart they can't figure out that cops with WWI era Lee Enfield rifles are no match for terrorists with AK-47s and grenades.
So smart that half their country still lives in slums and shanty towns. Yeah they are real smart all right ...
This has nothing to do with intelligence, but their lack of government infrastructure.
India and China will be the next world powers. Americans are generally too complacent (fat & lazy) and refuse to hustle like they once did during the Industrial Revolution. This is what happens when you give labor unions too many rights.
Don't you remember history class? Half of America, and most of NYC lived in slums and tenements at the beginning of the 20th century. It took India 3 days to kill 10 terrorists, but back in the 70s it took the entire NYPD over a year to capture the Son of Sam. Where are we now?
Last edited by NYCAnalyst; 11-08-2009 at 11:24 AM..
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