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Old 01-09-2012, 01:30 AM
 
Location: In bed with Madonna
475 posts, read 415,764 times
Reputation: 408

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1. You’re driving on the 101 and see a clear cut definition of where the smog begins and ends.
2. You’re sitting in traffic for at least an hour at any given part of the day.
3. You go to the beach and see that real lifeguards actually do look like the lifeguards from Baywatch.
4. You begin to “lie” to your friends about where you are (i.e. “Yeah I’m like 20 minutes away”) – when you know that it’ll take you at least an hour to get there).
5. You eat a different ethnic food for every meal.
6. You look around at the nice cars around you during traffic, thinking it’ll be your favorite Laker or WB star.
7. You make a conscious choice to watch Jay Leno over David Letterman.
8. You know it’s best not to be on the 405 at 4:05 pm.
9. Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about “twenty minutes”.
10. You know what neighborhood someone lives in by the degree of damage incurred during the riots.
11. You’ve inadvertently learned Spanish.
12. In the “winter”, you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day.
13. You know what “sigalert”, “PCH”, and “the five” mean.
14. If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you’re definitely driving.
15. Your TV show is interrupted by a police chase.
16. You can’t fall asleep without the lull of a helicopter flying overhead.
17. When tourists ask where they can get souvenirs, you direct them to Venice Beach.
18. You’ve trespassed through private property to get to the “Hollywood” sign.
19. You don’t stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll.
20. You’ve ever bought oranges, flowers, cherries or peanuts on a freeway off-ramp.
21. You think that Venice is a beach.
22. You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don’t notice.
23. You’ve started crossing a street and returned to the curb when the DON’T WALK sign started flashing.
24. You’ve never listened to NPR.
25. You think Manhattan is a beach.
26. You eat pineapple on pizza.
27. When giving directions, you follow up with the phrase: “With/Without traffic.”
28. Driving along, you see a high-speed police chase approaching in your rear view mirror. You don’t panic or even flinch. Instead, you call your friends on your car phone and tell them you’re on TV.
29. You know that if you drive two quarter mile(s) in any direction you will find a McDonald’s or a Starbucks.
30. You never, ever go into the water at the Beach. You barely touch the sand.
31. You are awakened in the middle of the night by a moderate earthquake. Your reply: “That ain’t even a 5-pointer” and go back to sleep.
32. You think you are better than the people who live “Over the Hill”. It don’t matter which side of the hill you are currently residing, you are just better than them, for whatever reason.
33. You live 10 miles from work. It takes you 60 minutes to get home.
34. Walking out of Jamba Juice, you see that a movie is being shot on-location across the street.
35. You are not happy, or even slightly exited that there may be a movie star there. You just say, ”They ****** better not be blocking my parking space.”
36. You go to Las Vegas for a weekend getaway and the whole trip cost you $50.
37. You know what In N Out is and feel bad for all the other states because they don’t have any.
38. You know that not everyone in Beverly Hills is a millionaire.
39. You’ve gotten parking tickets from parking in the red zone in front of your house.
40. Any major movie star is picking out the best portobello mushrooms next to you at the grocers and you don’t notice.
41. The gym is packed at 3pm…on a workday.
42. Any invitation comes with, “Starts at 8pm or as soon as you can get through traffic.”
43. It’s sprinkling and there’s a report on every news station about “STORM WATCH ‘99?
44. You call 911 and they put you on hold.
45. The three hour traffic jam you just sat through wasn’t caused by a horrific 9 car pile-up, but by everyone slowing to rubberneck at a lost shoe lying on the shoulder.
46. All the “cool gyms” allow pedestrians on the street a full-view of those working out. Literally, you can’t drive by Wilshire without staring into L.A. Fitness. Perhaps a new form of window shopping?
47. The waitress asks if you’d like “carbs” in your meal.

Sooo true !

Last edited by Count David; 01-09-2012 at 02:08 AM.. Reason: starred out profanity
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Old 01-09-2012, 01:30 PM
 
Location: SoCal, Idaho
3,162 posts, read 8,851,375 times
Reputation: 1637
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marce30 View Post
24. You’ve never listened to NPR.
i know a ton of people who listen to NPR.
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Old 01-09-2012, 01:49 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles County, CA
29,100 posts, read 22,737,462 times
Reputation: 6128
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1200RT View Post
i know a ton of people who listen to NPR.
This is not something to boast about.
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Old 01-09-2012, 02:19 PM
 
Location: Declezville, CA
16,613 posts, read 34,655,635 times
Reputation: 16957
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1200RT View Post
i know a ton of people who listen to NPR.
I have a radio that's dedicated to KPCC 24/7.
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Old 01-09-2012, 02:29 PM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
13,343 posts, read 18,090,703 times
Reputation: 19672
48. You give the bird sign as you pass the guy driving 70mph in the slow lane.
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Old 01-09-2012, 09:58 PM
 
Location: So Cal
35 posts, read 50,480 times
Reputation: 77
49. You hate Hollywood, and realize it's just a glossy adverstisment for LA the same way the billboard for a big mac shows a perfectly groomed fake plastic big mac that's spray painted and shined and photoshopped, and when someone orders the real thing, it's sloppy and the cheese is halfway off the bread and the lettuce all fallen out in the box.

50. You don't consider Hollywood, Beverly Hills, SaMo, WeHo, Century City, etc to be "the real LA"... you know the "real" LA is actually more like Cerritos or West Covina or Pacoima or South LA or Watts or Glendale or Pasadena or Victorville or Rancho Cucumunga or San Pedro or Covina or Torrance or Lakewood.

51. You just KNOW you are so much cooler than everyone else!!! hahahahhahahA!!! (Except those from the NYC or Frisco.. they 'aite..)

52. You particularily loved the 70's - 90's because everyone else in the world was jealous of us with all the sunshine and food and culture ALL TO OURSELVES!!!!

53. You had your first true taste of multiculturalism and tolerance of "others" by 1st grade, so now all this "liberal" nonsense is like a big joke to you, watching others struggle to "catch on"

54. You are in some way shape or form, forever holding a place in your heart for Chick Hearn, LA's father figure.
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Old 01-10-2012, 10:46 PM
 
Location: Boulder Creek, CA
9,197 posts, read 14,472,526 times
Reputation: 6333
Quote:
Originally Posted by nineteenseventy3 View Post
54. You are in some way shape or form, forever holding a place in your heart for Chick Hearn, LA's father figure.
55. And Vin Scully.
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Old 01-10-2012, 10:52 PM
 
Location: Here&There
2,209 posts, read 3,705,518 times
Reputation: 2424
I never understood the allure of In-N-Out.

Add to No.43, ... and everyone on the f'ing road starts to drive insanely slow.
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Old 01-10-2012, 11:05 PM
 
13 posts, read 18,842 times
Reputation: 21
#46 - paparazzi invitation
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Old 01-11-2012, 08:14 AM
 
Location: La Crescenta, CA
418 posts, read 1,583,569 times
Reputation: 333
56. You were not born in LA.
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