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Old 01-12-2012, 11:51 AM
 
25,739 posts, read 26,286,346 times
Reputation: 24412

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Hey all! Occasionally I see people who have moved here from another, very different area and just can't seem to acclimate. I hate to see that because that was me at one time, and that feeling is miserable. So I wanted to offer a ray of hope!

I was so so so miserable here (despite the excellent weather, the excellent schools where I live, etc.) at first simply because it was so very different. I could not make it feel like "home." It's now almost 7 years since we moved here and you know what? This is my home. Not my only one but it truly feels like home and I can finally appreciate what's really awesome about SoCal...which is a lot.

* You need to start making memories here. One thing that's "not homelike" about any new place is simply that you've never had experiences there. It's slightly different if you move to a place that at least superficially reminds you of your original home; there is no place quite like L.A. which is why I bring this point up. Just go to some places, even if they're low key and easygoing, and make memories. Believe it or not, I have awesome Foster Freeze memories (as well as some of the more logical ones like the city and Big Bear, LOL).

* Remember that you're not being "disloyal" to your home turf if you try to make a very different place your "new" home. You will always have the other home too. I feel I have two very firm home bases now (2900 miles apart). It's not disloyalty, any more than loving your second child as much as your first is disloyalty. Let yourself fall in love!

* Remember that at any time, things can change. You may bemoan being in a "strange" place "forever" but look how things turned out for you (and for me). Did you previously envision yourself so far from your original home? But that changed. You don't know that you'll be here forever -- so enjoy it now. You don't realize how much you'll miss the place until you leave it. Which brings me to...

* Do take trips away from this area. They don't have to be "back home" per se. You'll be amazed that after a while, you miss L.A....and that's when you realize there are things you really do like, perhaps already love about the area. Do this, for sure.

* Take advantage of the things this area has to offer! I can go from winter to summer in a 2-hour car ride. The mountains are absolutely beautiful and cradle my little valley. Warm sunshine at midday in January is a godsend. So is not having to shovel or sand. And so is being able to take a walk any day I want to practically, or plan an outdoor event months in advance because the chance of being rained out is very very minimal, and the chance of being snowed out is basically nonexistent.

This area of the nation is amazing! Enjoy it. You really never know what tomorrow may bring. Enjoy it right now, for however long it lasts -- a year or forever. There is no other place quite like the L.A. area. It is an experience all by itself if you let it be.

Love,

JerZ
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Old 01-12-2012, 12:05 PM
 
Location: LBC
4,155 posts, read 4,643,572 times
Reputation: 3543
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
Hey all! Occasionally I see people who have moved here from another, very different area and just can't seem to acclimate. I hate to see that because that was me at one time, and that feeling is miserable. So I wanted to offer a ray of hope!

I was so so so miserable here (despite the excellent weather, the excellent schools where I live, etc.) at first simply because it was so very different. I could not make it feel like "home." It's now almost 7 years since we moved here and you know what? This is my home. Not my only one but it truly feels like home and I can finally appreciate what's really awesome about SoCal...which is a lot.

* You need to start making memories here. One thing that's "not homelike" about any new place is simply that you've never had experiences there. It's slightly different if you move to a place that at least superficially reminds you of your original home; there is no place quite like L.A. which is why I bring this point up. Just go to some places, even if they're low key and easygoing, and make memories. Believe it or not, I have awesome Foster Freeze memories (as well as some of the more logical ones like the city and Big Bear, LOL).

* Remember that you're not being "disloyal" to your home turf if you try to make a very different place your "new" home. You will always have the other home too. I feel I have two very firm home bases now (2900 miles apart). It's not disloyalty, any more than loving your second child as much as your first is disloyalty. Let yourself fall in love!

* Remember that at any time, things can change. You may bemoan being in a "strange" place "forever" but look how things turned out for you (and for me). Did you previously envision yourself so far from your original home? But that changed. You don't know that you'll be here forever -- so enjoy it now. You don't realize how much you'll miss the place until you leave it. Which brings me to...

* Do take trips away from this area. They don't have to be "back home" per se. You'll be amazed that after a while, you miss L.A....and that's when you realize there are things you really do like, perhaps already love about the area. Do this, for sure.

* Take advantage of the things this area has to offer! I can go from winter to summer in a 2-hour car ride. The mountains are absolutely beautiful and cradle my little valley. Warm sunshine at midday in January is a godsend. So is not having to shovel or sand. And so is being able to take a walk any day I want to practically, or plan an outdoor event months in advance because the chance of being rained out is very very minimal, and the chance of being snowed out is basically nonexistent.

This area of the nation is amazing! Enjoy it. You really never know what tomorrow may bring. Enjoy it right now, for however long it lasts -- a year or forever. There is no other place quite like the L.A. area. It is an experience all by itself if you let it be.

Love,

JerZ
Excellent perspective.
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Old 01-12-2012, 12:19 PM
 
Location: Placentia, Orange County, CA
201 posts, read 546,391 times
Reputation: 114
Hear! hear!
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Old 01-12-2012, 12:24 PM
 
6,556 posts, read 10,299,114 times
Reputation: 8329
Thanks so much for this post JerZ. I will FINALLY be moving to LA by the end of this year so this really helps me to put things into perspective and take your advice to make memories. I'm not trying to speak things into existence by saying this but from doing research on this city for almost 5 years now, I always thought I would hate LA. I used to be in love with the idea of being there but eventually got over the stardom fantasy and saw reality. But you've really opened my eyes and forced me to become a little bit more open-minded seeing as how your a fellow east coaster and have completely turned around your experience. I will definitely be taking your advice and enjoying myself with the time that I have there. Besides, I was kinda starting to hate the east coast anyways so this move is a long time coming and well anticipated.
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Old 01-12-2012, 12:36 PM
 
25,739 posts, read 26,286,346 times
Reputation: 24412
allenk893, I too thought LA would be a total horror for me -- from the time I was very young I always remember saying, "I could live pretty much anywhere...except Southern California...no seasons and everybody is fake!" (Great assumption never having lived here, LOL.) It was BEYOND ironic that this was where I ended up.

Yes, you will fall in love. You will need to give yourself time. Do take your time. Don't force yourself to wear a Happy Helmet or something. You will get homesickness. It happens to all of us. But through that think about how you LA is going to grow on you, and you are going to gain a second home. I think you're gonna love it! Welcome, in advance!

p.s. Thanks, everybody!
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Old 01-12-2012, 01:31 PM
 
Location: LBC
4,155 posts, read 4,643,572 times
Reputation: 3543
JerZ already touched on these, but I’d like to emphasize:

-Take weekend getaways to just about anywhere around the state. This will enhance your appreciation of the physical context in which the city exists.

-Resist the temptation to limit your weekly experiences to your own neighborhood. Force yourself to visit other areas within the greater metro area and realize your 'hood is only one organ within a massive and complex civic body.
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Old 01-12-2012, 01:54 PM
 
25,739 posts, read 26,286,346 times
Reputation: 24412
These are brilliant suggestions, thanks, nslander. ETA: Oops, can't rep ya, but the thought was there.
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Old 01-12-2012, 04:49 PM
 
Location: Glendale, CA
1,299 posts, read 2,180,932 times
Reputation: 1380
To add to JerZ's excellent post, I've lived in Southern California most of my life (aside from a stint in Texas), and I am STILL finding new neighborhoods, activities, restaurants, and "hidden gems" that I never knew existed (or never had time to explore).

I fully second everyone else's suggestion to explore the physical surroundings of L.A. It is not "expensive" to drive into the mountains for a hike, or go to the beach, or hit Griffith Park and the observatory, or all of the other day trips that this place offers...

Thanks for the refreshingly positive post JerZ.
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Old 01-12-2012, 04:59 PM
 
927 posts, read 2,223,161 times
Reputation: 484
This is the best post I've seen in a long time. As someone who moved here 2 years ago, from a place they called "home" for 19 years, I completely agree with every bullet point. This city is amazing. I still get home sick, but I can't imagine living anywhere else but LA!
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Old 01-12-2012, 05:07 PM
 
Location: State of Washington (2016)
3,931 posts, read 2,609,624 times
Reputation: 15515
What wonderful, positive and sensible advice! I can relate personally because I relocated to Glendale from Chicago roughly six years ago. I did the usual newcomer griping: the food isn't good, the people aren't friendly, it isn't walkable, public transportation, stinks, etc. Truthfully, it took me less than a year to make a complete turnaround - I arrived in California with a broken leg, 2 dogs and a daughter because my husband's company transferred him out here. All of that contributed to my negative viewpoint.

After I got a really good job, got out of my cast and started exploring Glendale, Burbank, Pasadena and downtown Los Angeles with my family on the weekends, I started relaxing and enjoying myself and eventually came to discover that I love living here and wouldn't dream of moving anywhere else. The farthest I might venture now would be to purchasing a home in Pasadena because we are in a rental townhouse in Glendale. I enjoy the various ethnic restaurants, the museums, the parks, etc. and, of course, the weather. I don't miss shoveling snow, raking leaves and bitter winds. I still miss the food but I can always go on weekend food trips to Chicago a couple of times a year.
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