Is it easy to make friends in LA?? (Fortuna: fit in, transplants)

[disgruntled la native]

Originally Posted by EveryDayGuy

1. Who said anything about jobs, I was talking about making friends - but yes, the WORKING CLASSES of LA don't live in the same neighborhoods. Generally speaking, working class Latinos live in Latino areas, Blacks with Blacks, etc. I never said there wasn't workplace diversity.

2. Right.

3. You must not spend any time around Hollywood, West LA or the beach cities.

South LA is a mix of latinos and blacks living side by side. Lots of blatinos (mixed) too.

Beach cities, no, but I'm from the westside, live there, and have worked and played in Hollywood for years and trust me, blond men are not at the top of the totem pole. Tall men with darker hair get preference in this city. WOMEN on the other hand, okay, blond women may be especially sought after, but a good looking brunette's gonna do just fine.

[DaniellaG]

I am from MI as well and moved to Thousand Oaks which is not in LA but near. I found the people in TO and near very friendly. I am pretty quiet and am not into night life so it can be hard to meet people but I made some friends pretty easily. I found people will just start talking to you at a coffee shop for example which is nice. Just be ready for a huge price increase. The rent for me anyway was about double what I was paying in a very upscale area of MI.

[Aldous9]

i think making new friends once you're in your 30's is always hard. A lot of people that age already have their established social circles and may be hesitant to add someone new. But LA's more difficult because of how big the city is and how far away a potential friend may live. I socialize with people from work but not enough to where they are close friends. The biggest reason is the distance we live from each other. We don't have the same local bars and hang outs.

Also, in general people from LA are a little too into themselves. Especially if they work in the entertainment business or anything entertainment related.

I compare my experience in LA (where I've lived most of my life) with some smaller cities I have lived in (both in Europe and in the U.S). In smaller cities I found it easier to meet friends because logistics weren't such an obstacle. For instance, someone at work would just ask if anyone wanted to grab a pint. This would simply involve walking to the pub after work and then, for me anyway, walking home. Some co-workers maybe had to take a five dollar cab ride. Sometimes I would see co-workers already in one of the many pubs in the city centre. So over time you build up a rapport with people and they enter into your social circle. They become someone you can randomly see at a bar and not feel uncomfortable joining them.

But that kind of socializing is difficult in LA. If I said to my co-workers "anyone want to get a pint?" they'd probably look at me funny. Logistically its just too difficult. Ed lives 30 minutes from work. Jill lives 40 minutes away in traffic. etc. The only time I socialize with co-workers is when there is a scheduled work night out. Most of the people at work have their own social circles near where they live.

So for me anyway LA is a very difficult city to make friends quickly.

[ElysianEagle]

LA is definitely a tough place to make friends. as others have pointed out, the city's layout definitely works against you, especially when you've just met someone. at this stage in order for a friendship to blossom, you need to see that person often, but who's willing to drive 30+ minutes in traffic on average - in this day of high gas prices to less - for someone they've only just met?

i've known ppl of all ages that've lived here for years and they still complain abt how hard it is to make friends.

[Trae713]

I guess this is where having a roommmate helps. When I move out there I won't know a single soul except for an aunt and her family in Irvine. Grad school should help me too...

[disgruntled la native]

Originally Posted by ElysianEagle

LA is definitely a tough place to make friends. as others have pointed out, the city's layout definitely works against you, especially when you've just met someone. at this stage in order for a friendship to blossom, you need to see that person often, but who's willing to drive 30+ minutes in traffic on average - in this day of high gas prices to less - for someone they've only just met?

i've known ppl of all ages that've lived here for years and they still complain abt how hard it is to make friends.

Layout is horrible if you have a full time job. It's easier to walk to your friend's place a couple blocks away and chat for an hour after work than get in your car, fight even more traffic across town to visit someone you hardly know.

[ccm123]

In my experience, no.

[the12ronin]

All these posters are offering quality feedback IMO. L.A. is definitely more difficult to make friends.

It has its share of heart, but for the most part, the stereotypes hold true. If you are very good-looking and very confident, friends will be -easier- to make. Still, it will never be easy.

People are very self-absorbed here, and friendship is about giving as much as it is about receiving. This concept is lost on the -type- of transplant that comes to L.A. to make it big. Which is indeed a startlingly high percentage of the folks you pass shoulder-to-shoulder with every day.

Very cliquey, very uptight, very superficial. I'm from the east coast too, and it's just a horse of a different color out here. In their defense, when you are up against thousands of others to be truly successful in the industries unique to L.A., you have to be self-important by necessity. Otherwise, you start to slip, and then 100 folks just cut in front of you for a chance to -make it-.

I always made it a rule to stay away from the industry folks. IMO, the best folks here are just the ones well, who simply live here.

There are nice people in L.A. There are people of substance in L.A. Just understand, they are the exception and not the rule. And I don't blame or resent L.A. as a city for that either.

Los Angeles is a diva. And divas will be divas. 'Nuff said.

[skyway31]

It's easy to make friends in L.A. if you follow a few key rules:
-Seek out groups who share your interests. In an area with as many people as L.A., you're bound to find other groups of people who enjoy the same things. Find organized groups who share those interests.
- Have interests. If you're a person who has trouble answering the question "What are your hobbies?" because you always tend to answer, "Oh, I work a lot", that's a you problem.
- Be willing to play kickball! I know, I know, it's a kid's game. But, kickball.com runs leagues all over the country and they represent one of the best ways to meet people. They do tend to go to a bar after the game, but they do it together. It's a totally different bar experience then you've likely ever had.
- Don't base your life around booze. But, don't be such a stick in the mud that you're never willing to drink at all. And, again, that doesn't mean I'm saying go to some bar solo and sit down and try to talk to people. Not the usual bar experience. But if you're with a group that shares similar interests and they say they're going to a bar for a drink or two, don't always take off and skip the bar.

It will be very easy to build a social circle of people to do fun things with if you follow those rules. Now, a passionate best friend for life? That's hard to find no matter where you live...

[the12ronin]

Be prepared for some extremely boring, extremely sheltered, extremely vanilla people if you're going to play -kickball- in a league with a bunch of adults.


Not my type of people, but hey that's just me and I'm an eastcoaster.