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Location: Los Angeles, which as I understand was once upon a time ago part of the United States of America
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Originally Posted by Nick682
I have read most of what everyone has said about this post (so cal behavior vs rest of the nation). Let me start by saying that you can generalize to a certain extent, (to all those people who said you can't) stereotypes are around for a reason. Now I think it's important to not judge a book by it's cover but it doesn't mean that generalities regarding specific populations don't exist in America. I moved here when I was four years old and I never felt really comfortable, I was from Oregon and I have memories of the streams and rivers and woods as a kid. One of my first memories on the playground at school here was when a bunch of kids crushed to death a lizard that was running across the pavement. I will never forget that, because I had never seen such blatant disregard and insensitivity towards life. But then again San Diego has the highest extinction rate of local species in the nation (wonder why). I have seen massive beautiful canyons and wildlife areas plowed over and track homes built, the once beautiful and pristine beaches are now littered with trash and polluted with runoff, can't go surfing after the rain or you'll get a funky infection, this place is becoming LA. All the open spaces are slowly disappearing before my eyes. This place used to be a bch town before everyone and their brother decided to move here. Growing up here, I forgot about my early memories and came to accept this place as my home, but as I said I never felt very happy. Kids were always mean in school and I never had a girlfriend all throughout high school. In fact, I have never had a successful relationship here in California period (only casual flings). When I was twenty I joined the Coast Guard and traveled allot, my first station was Seattle WA, and I thought I would hate it. Being from So Cal, I had this attitude like all other places sucked and California was where it was at, especially Socal. When I got to Seattle I pranced around in my cool Socal clothes and acted like I was the " " but something happened. I immediately started to realize that no one cared and no one really thought I was cool. People were friendly and they made conversation and they didn't judge me nearly as much. They seemed smarter less materialistic and much more genuine. For the next two years of my life I soaked it up because it was what I had been missing my whole life. I had many girls take interest in me and I met and had a 2yr relationship with a great girl (best memories of my life). I am now 29 yrs old, I moved back to California when I was 23 still in the coast guard I got stationed in LA, I was trying for San Diego (my hometown). I came back because I didn't really realize the difference at the time and I was trying to be closer to family after being away for two years. During my stay in Seattle I sailed around the world and the countries I visited were to numerous to list. I have also traveled extensively throughout the US, so I have a good picture of how it is in other places. I have never experienced a more self involved, materialistic, shallow, egotistical, insensitive, disregarding, convoluted and non-caring scene, as I have here in Socal. It's as if no one cares about anyone out here. What they do care about is trying to impress each other with their fancy cars and their designer sunglasses w/ gaudy silver and gold logos plastered on the sides. Californian's experience each other through two windows, your car window and theirs. They are seriously inconsiderate on the roads driving to fast and cutting you off, never use a blinker etc. It's sad, because the place where you will see the most people is the place where you will be treated like an obstacle. When I first got back I immediately noticed how rude people were here compared to Seattle, but I had no choice to stay I was stationed in LA for two years. After that I moved to SD to see if it would be different, and it was a little better, but not much. Even though my family is here I am not staying I have some schooling to finish and I am out of here. This place is way to expensive, you pay more for everything. The air quality ranks among the worst in the nation. Studies show that those particles make it to your brain, and I notice it when it's bad, it makes you feel really irritable (maybe thats why people drive like dicks). It's just not worth it, people here are not living, they are frantically going through the motions of
life thats it. Not everyone here is bad, there are some really great people, I have good friends from my childhood. Occasionally I meet someone nice, the biggest thing I can't stand is how casual people are about relationships, and all the stupid childish games they play. It seems like no one is really genuine. I will never forget how many women asked me where I lived or what kind of job I had before actually getting to know me as a person. I do not judge women solely on looks, so I expect not be judged solely on my monetary value. I own my own business and make plenty of money, but thats not the point, I would like to feel like someone was actually interested in me rather than my wallet. The very structure of Socal is non conducive to meeting people. And I am tired of older women out here dressing and acting like teenagers because they are insecure about getting old because they have based their entire lives on their looks. And the young ones are always trying to use their looks to get ahead. If another one of my customers wives hits on me I think I will throw up. If you don't like your husband why did you marry him. Oh thats right, he had a high level corporate job and a beamer, thats all you needed right. But now since you don't really love him you are going to cheat and lie. That kind of behavior is rampant out here. Everything is a drive, or sitting in traffic or your buying something at the store, those are the only times you run across others. This place is basically soulless, I read all of posts before mine stating, "culture shock" from people who couldn't believe how inconsiderate people were to each other ie: not stopping to help each other on the roadways etc. Believe it, they just want to get around you, they don't care. They have important savvy business meetings and elegant affairs to attend too. Basically there are a few words that sum up the attitude around here, self absorbed, materialistic (material centered lives), shallow (the reason people don't like negativity out here is because they are fake), everyone's life has ups and downs good and bad 50/50, but fake people have no concept of this because they are always pretending to be happy even though they are crying inside. Designer clothes, fancy cars, flashy houses and cool sunglasses don't make you happy in life. Having people around you who value life and are considerate and caring and love you is what makes a person happy and fulfilled. So that's why I am going back to where people actually care about each other and they don't fake it only when they have to because they are face to face......And thats my take? Not trying to be cynical just being honest about my experiences, maybe it will help some one else who hasn't yet figured it out....Oh, another thing, it's only gonna get more and more expensive out here, the drought that is currently threatening our water supply will only get worse and worse with global warming, and so will the crazy wildfires. I would get out now while you still can. Socal is an ecological disaster waiting to happen, but the state will cover up anything bad and so will the the federal gov't because California is to important to the economy (the state of the spenders). They will wait until the very last minute to declare this place a disaster zone. Buy real estate here and in a decade you may be paying 5-10 times the price for desalinized ocean water because the rivers have dried up. And along with already having the nations worst air, you will have the crazy wildfires contaminating your lungs every year.
Thank you for writing this. You've confirmed many of my suspicions, and answered many of my questions.
(prince) Absolutely, my goal was not to be negative or to bring anyone down in life (contrary to what Brea said). I was just expressing my true opinions, based upon many years of experiences here. If you are not one of the people who I was generalizing about, then you have no reason to be offended by what I said.
Another thing (to Brea) you may be right about me trying to convince myself that I need to leave I will admit it. I have lots of family here, great friends, my own business that is growing rapidly! I have been on the fence for a while because those things are important to me. But my ultimate decision was that having substance in a "life partner" and raising a "healthy family" in a healthy emotional and physical environment is much more important in life.
(prince) I am happy if you gained some insight from my experiences thats why I shared them. If you heard nothing but positive then you would know something was wrong, cause nothing in life is only positive!
Yin & Yang, Life & Death, Income & Taxes, Love & War!
As a native Californian [3rd generation] I have a strong attachment to the West Coast. I also left the state as a young man wanting to see the nation. So, I bought a VW bus and drove across the country, stopping to work along the way but not planning much other than to keep on exploring the US. I have lived outside Chicago, in NYC & Philly, spent extensive periods in Florida/Miami, Colorado, Michigan. Our nation is a really interesting country to slowly visit, if you have the time.
But, I always returned home to California, & especially Los Angeles. Sometimes when I fly back to LA, I get excited how different it is from the majority of the US. I feel safer in California because people don't judge you & just let people live the way they want. That was not my experience anywhere else in the US except New York.
The climate and things to do make living in California so much more interesting & you never have to worry about the weather [unless it rains on your outdoor wedding, or something]. Living outdoors so much helps deal with the stress of traffic & the world.
Many out here don't even consider themselves Americans but more Californian first, the US second. Also the Spanish culture is very strong in California [practically all the cities, mountains, valleys are named after saints and reflect the long history of Spanish & Mexican California]. I don't think that there are other states quite so different as California; where English is not always spoken & not even necessary.
I love the more relaxed attitude & concern for nature. Los Angeles is difficult to get around since it is so spread out but there's so much to do all over the city that it doesn't matter as much if you can't get to Santa Monica or Pasadena for over an hour in traffic.
I think mostly that people tend to be less sociable in LA & that can be a negative.
I've never lived outside of Southern CA -- so then, I'm curious as to how people in the rest of the U.S. generally differ in behavior from those who live here; in particular, in which ways have people experienced "culture shock" when first moving here from elsewhere in the U.S.?
Ok Prince, now I didn't move to California, but from here so I can still tell of my culture shock lol. My immediate family moved from Southern California to, now get ready, Bismarck ND. Bismarck at the time was an area of 88,000 people. Even now it's population is 102,000, small by all means compared to a massive area like LA. Things I noticed about people in the Midwest;
-They are always in your business. Always. I used to say I would hear something about myself before I even knew it because people were always talking. Because of this you feel like even in such a sparsely populated place you have no privacy.
-Everyone is very uniform. At school there would always be a couple other kids wearing the same Old Navy or American Eagle shirt because standing out in your style was a HUGE no-no.
-CONSERVATIVE! Wow they don't call it the bible-belt for nothing! It is almost sickening how conservative most are, and the thing that always got me was how that affected even how cities operated. In Bismarck there was a law that a man and a woman could not legally rent a home unless they were in a legitimate marriage.
-The weather. Boo on the weather! It would be 30 degrees BELOW zero during the winter and a few months later it would be 105 and humid! I'll take 75 and sunny any day!
-Like someone else has mentioned some of those people were almost too nice. There are parts of the Midwest were the kindness of people would make you feel like you were in the beginning scenes of the Texas chainsaw massacre.
Now the Midwest has some beautiful cities, don't get me wrong. I had a great time living there. After a couple years when I was old enough I moved to Minneapolis, and while that was an amazing city it wasn't home, which will always be California for me. It's not the place for everyone, just like ND and MN weren't for me. A lot of the things people complain about from here are true of every city. I've been flipped off driving in Bismarck. Me and a lady got into it on the freeways of Minneapolis because she didn't understand that only one car could go per light at the on-ramp we were on. I've been treated like crap by customer service people in both of these places where the people are supposedly so nice. Surprisingly Bismarck has some of the worst air quality in the nation because of the coal power plants in the counties surrounding it. As for crime, per 100,000 people the crime in Minneapolis is far worse than that of LA. It all comes down to this, every place has its ups and downs, and there's no city anywhere in this world that's perfect. I've traveled half the United States, parts of Canada and Mexico and it never fails to be true.
SoCal Natives: we dont really like hockey
Non SoCal: People actually like hockey
Ouch... that is serious culture shock for me, as my name indicates!
When the Ducks won the Stanley Cup, a measly 10,000 showed up at the rally. By comparison, Detroit drew over 1,000,000, and Denver drew about 400,000 when they won -- and both are smaller metro areas.
And finding a Stanley Cup championship sweatshirt was an exercise in futility.
Sports, generally, are not important to SoCalers. The Lakers, Angels, USC, and Ducks have won titles since I've lived here -- none qualify as what I'd consider feeling like a major championship feel in the city.
I think that stems from lack of community feel. There's such a strange dissent between various communities that it prevents everyone from coming together for things like sports, things that unify many cities.
But I also agree people are tolerant and non-judgmental, so there are plenty of good aspects to SoCal culture as well.
SoCal hobbies include: Driving, Money, Cool Sunglasses, Surfing (which only a select few really know how too, the rest are poser's, you wanna see who the real surfers are go look on a big surf day, all the posers won't be in the water (mainly people from midwest). All the real surfers have realized that the posers won't be crowding up the water on those days. Even though you do get the occasional monkey who thinks he's gonna take a 10ft wave and then bails out last minute.
Saying they snowboard and ski, but the truth is that the close mtns, are not mtns at all they are severely overpriced, crowded, hills.
Going to the desert for the weekend and riding around on their quads and dirt bikes, killing off the local species by making trails through there habitat and getting drunk and doing meth.
Bragging about their overpriced homes that have no backyards and are two ft from their neighbor.
Keeping up with the latest news about Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, the Olson Twins, Britney Spears.
Mainly having their vehicles detailed by under payed illegal immigrants and then driving them all over town showing them off hoping that you will do a double take when they drive by. And when you do they will pretend like they don't notice you, even though they were watching you from the corner of their eye to see if you would notice their fancy car.
Girls pretending like they didn't notice you at all even though you saw them look at you from a distance.
(for the ladies) Guys acting like macho corporate jerks [mod edited; language], trying to impress you with their chrome rims, and cool metrosexual hairdo's and fake designer sunglasses.
These are just a few of the usual SD resident hobbies.....
Nick682, I know you may think we bumped heads beginning in this thread, but I just need to warn you that the moderators take very seriously the terms of use for this site, one of those terms being: "You warrant that you will not post any messages that are obscene, vulgar"
Although I am sure the word you used truly describes how you feel, be aware that the moderators can and do cut peoples posts for such language.
Ouch... that is serious culture shock for me, as my name indicates!
When the Ducks won the Stanley Cup, a measly 10,000 showed up at the rally. By comparison, Detroit drew over 1,000,000, and Denver drew about 400,000 when they won -- and both are smaller metro areas.
And finding a Stanley Cup championship sweatshirt was an exercise in futility.
Sports, generally, are not important to SoCalers. The Lakers, Angels, USC, and Ducks have won titles since I've lived here -- none qualify as what I'd consider feeling like a major championship feel in the city.
I think that stems from lack of community feel. There's such a strange dissent between various communities that it prevents everyone from coming together for things like sports, things that unify many cities.
But I also agree people are tolerant and non-judgmental, so there are plenty of good aspects to SoCal culture as well.
A lot of it has to do with all the transplants that move here from other parts of the country and other countries for that matter. Lots of these people bring with them their allegiances to their hometown teams so there is no true feeling and support of the LA teams.
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Absolutely!
