What about children with ADHD (daycare, home, construction)

[Arian de Koning]

As I wrote earlier, my heart lies in the Valley of SoCal.
But that is me...
The point is that I must realize the fact that I am not alone.
We are a family with the responsebility for three children.
Our youngest suffers from Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).
We are not aware what the consequences will be whenever we decide to make our move from Europe to SoCal for him.
I have no doubt that the older two children will manage. They are bright and resourcefull enough. We as parents will also find our way I have the feeling that somehow we shall manage to have a life over there if we want.
But... how about our youngest. is he going to find his way in SoCal when we ever wanna move.
Are there special schools , I bet they are private (which means "expensive")
We have seriously no clue, and it is this reason why we feel that it is hard to decide to pack our stuff, leave Good Old Europe and try to Settle somewhere in the Valley of SoCal.
We feel that our children come first and the disability of the youngest makes such a decision even harder to make. That is why I try to figure out as much information on this subject as I can find in order to assure he is well too if we ever do what we think is okay.
Whatever our plans may become.
For me it is clear, If they can have a future, we have a future.
It's that simple

Anyway, my love for SoCal remains unaltered and maybe one day I have everything on track to make the move to the Valley

Oh and now we are at it...,
Anyone in need of an good Paralegal / Archiver ?? got my Diploma's and over ten years of vast experience in the field (my native tongue is Dutch and I write and speak reasonably well English and German) not to mention that I am always willing to learn Spanish.
Oh, and I am a non-smoker and love to write and shoot pictures.

Have a good weekend.
Arian.

[los$candalous]

im in the health field

has your youngest been properly diagnosed with ADHD?

what non-medication therapies have you tried?

does he have trouble concentrating at school? home? or both?

what medication is he currently taking?

what dose?

how is he doing with his activities after school? how do you guys spend family time? how is he getting along with his peers? siblings?

answering these questions will help people answer your concerns

[Arian de Koning]

has your youngest been properly diagnosed with ADHD?

He has not officially been diagnosed with ADHD, They think it is more related to PDDs-NOS which is somewhat the same but in a lesser strong appearance.
Later this year we are about to have him officially diagnosed.

what non-medication therapies have you tried?

He does not use any medicine yet, it is decided to first see how everything goes and than act.
He was on an infant school to improve his behaviour a few years ago.
It was there where the learning curve started, they called the school "T' Kabouterhuis" it is a 'medical' daycare where the youngsters learn the basics of social behaviour, their pronouncement of words (if needed) and their first steps on reading, writing and calculating all off course on each of their specific level.
In those days he had trouble in communicating and he easily got upset because he was not able to express himself the way other children could and that often made him mad.
He learned to speak much better and nowadays he is far more developped in telling how he feels and what he thinks.
So yes... he has improved dramatically and we feel it has become lot better. hence his social ability to make friends very easy.


does he have trouble concentrating at school? home? or both?

Nowadays he (7 years) is attending the so called "Professor van Gilseschool" in The Netherlands.
It is a school specialized in the deaf and hard of hearing children.
It is not particularly a school for those with ADHD disorder.
He still has difficulty in pronouncing but as written earlier he makes daily improvement.

If you leave him alone to do his duty at school and at home he performs real well but he easily is distracted.
And that sometimes causes some concentration problems.

what medication is he currently taking?

He is not taking any medication now.
Both the specialists and those who are guiding him at school feel is not in such a need of that. It goes very well without using medication.

what dose?

n.a.

how is he doing with his activities after school? how do you guys spend family time? how is he getting along with his peers? siblings?

He is a very outgoing kid and really wants to go out, and play with his peers as soon as the schoolbus has dropped him off.
My wife and I both work, so as soon as we are at home we do out thing and need time to recuperate for a brief moment.
During those moments he is playing outside or in the attic which he shares with his older brother.
Family time is playing some interactive games on the "Wii" , watch a dvd or sit and have him on my lap and cuddle for a minute or some.
I love to build modelkits and it may be an idea to introduce him into the world of building little cars or airplanes, I rediscovered it some years ago and I am glad I still have it in my fingers.
It came to my attention that both boys are always watching me for a brief minute to see how I build/paint and glue the parts together and than leave to go to their friends that wait outside.
It is a good thing to pass it on to him as I see that he loves to play with construction toy's such as LEGO or KNEX.
So that is the next step.

He is real easy to get along with, it surprises us how fast he makes new buddies, he is a social kinda little guy.

answering these questions will help people answer your concerns

Thanks, A.

[los$candalous]

the only way to truly diagnose a child suspected to have ADHD is for you and his school teacher (at different sources in two different environments) to preform a DSM-IV questionaire. if your child has ADHD, then the results from these forms PLUS proof that it interferes and affects his social and academic functioning will be the definitive proof and therefore lead to stimulant use to help control his behavior and help him concentrate during learning activities

you shouldn't toss around the term ADHD like that unless your child is positively diagnoses by your doctor

there are definitely comorbidities which could either misdiagnose ADHD or exacerbate it

how did your child do on his last vision and hearing tests? any discrepency in either will hinder his development and often cause frustration, which will lead to social withdrawal

it seems like your child is doing pretty well WITHOUT medication and his social and familial lifestyle is ideal and nuturing

trust me........if you really want to see kids with ADHD, i would be more than happy to have you sit wieth me on one of my clinic days and show you the children AND parents with kids with ADHD........complete 180 from what you are describing

be patient with your child and let me him develop at his own pace. any rush to judgment may lead to unnecessary stimulant use which has plenty of unwanted side effects which could make his condition even worse

[Arian de Koning]

Dear Los$candalous,

First I want to thank you for your effort and time to answer my querie.
Yesterday afternoon I showed my wife your responce and she fully agreed with you.
I felt ashamed and did not realized the power of my words and my rush to judgment I should have known better.

She tolde me that our youngest will indeed undergo a so called DSM-IV questionaire later this year to determine his status of a possible case of ADHD.
Till than I should not have and shall not toss these words around any more as I used to do before.
And even than after official diagnosis I must be carefull because this is something that can be easily misunderstood because lots of people don't have a heck what it really means (like I ) .

Yes, you are right.
If I compare him to the daughter of friends from us whose child has officially been diagnosed with ADHD you see a strong difference between her and our son.
And I fully agree that I have to take back my words on that.
It is indeed a whole different story and indeed a complete 180 from what we see and experience with our youngest.

So later this year we shall have more certainty about his status and till that moment we do our best and carry on the way we always did except for the fact that I shall try to focus more than before on his qualities
Thanks again for your advise and comments

If we ever make it to see my beloved "SoCal" and the "Valley" , I would sure love to come by to visit and see the work you do to help these kids on track
Melinda has a better view on topics as these and so are you.
It shows me once more how we "male" can learn from a woman's point of view, and this is not the only subject...

Kind regards from,
Arian and Melinda from The Netherlands (Europe)