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Old 08-02-2010, 07:31 PM
Location: Bella Vista, Ark
74,915 posts, read 87,324,236 times
Reputation: 45481


Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
It never bothers me to say "no" politely and with a smile, and with no explanation.

If people behind me in line want to think "What a terrible person!" they can--but likely they're also wondering how to get out of it so it's doubtful. It's just supposed to make you feel like you're on the spot and everyone's staring at you.

I've heard and seen people stumbling all over themselves trying to explain to the Salvation Army guy out front or the "keep the kids off the street" dude with the thingie in his ear that he's listening to, with their pleas of "Oh I would but I don't have any spare change but next time I will be sure to get some" or "My husband was out of work for six months and only started back at work and...and...and..."

Me? I smile and gently say "no."

But that's when I do say no.

And that's really the whole reason I don't feel guilty at all. Literally any time I have so much as a penny on me, if there's a person with his or her hand out at a doorway, association or no, I'm plopping money into it, no questions asked on my part. I don't even hesitate.

And that's on top of the fact that I've worked for 24 solid years and have, in fact, helped to support people other than myself and my immediate family for every single one of those 24 years via my taxes, asking for nothing in return, not even once, no matter how down and out I was.

So yeah. I've given and I continue to give. When I'm able and it's convenient. If that sounds cold, so be it. Again, having handed over my money for a quarter of a century out of a simple sense of duty seems enough to me; handing over cash any and every time I have it in addition to that, as well as making donations (and never writing them off...haven't done that once in my life...not even when I donated my car), seems plenty to me.

If someone behind me in line wants to gasp when I gently say "no" without any further explanation, let that person feel superior for that moment. Maybe he or she needs to. I know I'm supporting myself and my family and asking nothing in return, and giving consistently, and knowing it inwardly is enough to me. People will think what they want to anyway...right? Even if you were to hand over your firstborn on line at Von's ("Here...he's a very hard worker"), somebody somewhere would still have something to say about how stingy you are, so honestly, who cares? If you don't want to donate...say "no"...not in a whisper but in a normal and pleasant tone of voice.
agree, just say no or enter NO, what is the big deal?

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Old 08-03-2010, 12:52 AM
Location: Los Angeles, CA
28 posts, read 87,575 times
Reputation: 50
Originally Posted by VLWH View Post
I understand the cashiers don't have a choice, my complaint is with the management. The little card machines ask you if you want to donate, but then the clerk is forced to ask you in front of the other customers? I've already told the little card machine no, now I have to tell the clerk also? This is on top of the solicitors hounding you at the front entrance. enough is enough.
Eh, it's easy enough to say no. There are occasionally people outside of the Vons I go to, but not that often.
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Old 08-03-2010, 02:28 AM
Location: The Chatterdome in La La Land, CaliFUNia
38,989 posts, read 20,691,051 times
Reputation: 35963
Originally Posted by VLWH View Post
The other day I went to Vons to pick up a few things. I swiped my vons card and then the screen displayed a message asking if I want to make a donation to the Muscular Dystrophy Association, I proceeded to press no. Just as I hit no, The clerk asked if I wanted to make a donation to MDA, I told him no. What really bugs me is not only do I have to deal with the solicitors at the door on the way in and then while leaving, but now I have to put up with the clerk hitting me up for a donation and putting me on the spot in front of everyone in line.

Now I don't mind them having a bucket setup at the checkstand for collections or those little card you can pick up and they scan and add the donation to your bill. It just really gets to be too much when every time you turn around it seems someone is always hitting you up for money. I do donate money whenever possible, but enough is enough.
I agree ... I don't have enough to donate to the causes that I personally believe in so how can I contribute to the store's pet causes.
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Old 08-04-2010, 02:00 AM
Location: Pasadena
21 posts, read 51,323 times
Reputation: 24
I was getting sick of saying "no", and finally started telling them the truth - that I have my own charity I give to - AIDS... Yesterday, the clerk at Vons asked me if that meant I owned my own charity! I had to explain that I meant I only give donations to AIDS organizations... Weird.
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Old 08-04-2010, 04:07 AM
1,619 posts, read 1,833,511 times
Reputation: 688
Oh wow. Me, too. I give to AIDS charities and I finally said that once when they were looking for cancer...prostate cancer or something...donations. She mumbled that it was just one dollar.

The idiot actually said, "You don't look like you have AIDS." I just looked at her and conveyed the 'you're an idiot' look without saying anything.

I mean, yeah, I give to others, too. But, not every time, everday that I happen to run on for bagels or juice. But, I do tell them "not this time" or "I marked it on the screen, thanks".

I happen to be very generous but that doesn't mean every charity gets every penny. I teach and to be honest, a few hundred bucks a semester end up at Target...my very own children's charity for HS kids who don't have supplies.
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Old 08-04-2010, 04:24 AM
Location: Yucaipa, California
9,842 posts, read 19,050,790 times
Reputation: 6670
I bet ALOT of the money donated to the MDA goes toward the employees salaries, benefits & pensions. I cant donate what i dont have & i hate that when the cashier at vons asks me if i want to donate even though i already checked no after i swiped my card. I rarely shop at vons anyways plus they are too damn expensive.
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Old 10-25-2011, 09:26 PM
1 posts, read 1,216 times
Reputation: 11
I'm beyond annoyed with Vons because of this. I'm unemployed and forced to say out loud I don't want to donate. Then I feel bad. It causes me to avoid shopping at Vons.
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Old 10-25-2011, 09:28 PM
1,568 posts, read 1,349,496 times
Reputation: 414
Screw that! I'll shove any panhandler out of the way to buy Von's Lucerne cheese!
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Old 10-26-2011, 08:54 PM
Location: Los Angeles County, CA
29,100 posts, read 22,764,415 times
Reputation: 6128
Lucerne? Tillamook is the only edible cheese!

I know someone who did their master's thesis on this very topic - donations at grocery stores (specifically Von's). She interviewed several cashiers and got their opinion on the subject. I read her thesis and it is rather clear that many of the cashiers don't like to ask for the donations - but are compelled to do so by corporate policy. So, don't blame the employee who hits you up - direct your ire to the manager or the corporate leadership. Shoot, the manager probally has little say in the matter too.
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Old 10-26-2011, 09:04 PM
313 posts, read 676,269 times
Reputation: 174
Magic words: not today
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