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Old 08-12-2009, 09:17 PM
 
7,074 posts, read 7,047,207 times
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The other day I went to Vons to pick up a few things. I swiped my vons card and then the screen displayed a message asking if I want to make a donation to the Muscular Dystrophy Association, I proceeded to press no. Just as I hit no, The clerk asked if I wanted to make a donation to MDA, I told him no. What really bugs me is not only do I have to deal with the solicitors at the door on the way in and then while leaving, but now I have to put up with the clerk hitting me up for a donation and putting me on the spot in front of everyone in line.

Now I don't mind them having a bucket setup at the checkstand for collections or those little card you can pick up and they scan and add the donation to your bill. It just really gets to be too much when every time you turn around it seems someone is always hitting you up for money. I do donate money whenever possible, but enough is enough.
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Old 08-12-2009, 09:28 PM
 
Location: in here, out there
3,062 posts, read 5,858,348 times
Reputation: 5109
That happened to me yesterday and I was smart enough to reply, "I entered that field already" to the automaton who was scanning my food.
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Old 08-12-2009, 09:33 PM
 
2,179 posts, read 4,450,445 times
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i know! it appears on the thing that you enter your credit card through, and then the cashier asks you if you want to make a donation! i feel bad when i say no, but they are soliciting inside the stores now!
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Old 08-12-2009, 10:09 PM
 
Location: NYC
1,158 posts, read 3,268,344 times
Reputation: 1085
That happened to me today in Vons! I go there enough that I've noticed that some cashiers ask every single time, while others never ask at all.
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Old 08-12-2009, 10:19 PM
 
Location: Declezville, CA
16,626 posts, read 34,702,104 times
Reputation: 16979
How annoying. My main grocery store (WinCo) not only doesn't practice that nonsense, they also don't allow beggars (aka solicitors) on the property, so that means no annoying recovering alcoholic god blessing me when I ignore his entreaties.
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Old 08-12-2009, 11:22 PM
 
25,739 posts, read 26,340,762 times
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It never bothers me to say "no" politely and with a smile, and with no explanation.

If people behind me in line want to think "What a terrible person!" they can--but likely they're also wondering how to get out of it so it's doubtful. It's just supposed to make you feel like you're on the spot and everyone's staring at you.

I've heard and seen people stumbling all over themselves trying to explain to the Salvation Army guy out front or the "keep the kids off the street" dude with the thingie in his ear that he's listening to, with their pleas of "Oh I would but I don't have any spare change but next time I will be sure to get some" or "My husband was out of work for six months and only started back at work and...and...and..."

Me? I smile and gently say "no."

But that's when I do say no.

And that's really the whole reason I don't feel guilty at all. Literally any time I have so much as a penny on me, if there's a person with his or her hand out at a doorway, association or no, I'm plopping money into it, no questions asked on my part. I don't even hesitate.

And that's on top of the fact that I've worked for 24 solid years and have, in fact, helped to support people other than myself and my immediate family for every single one of those 24 years via my taxes, asking for nothing in return, not even once, no matter how down and out I was.

So yeah. I've given and I continue to give. When I'm able and it's convenient. If that sounds cold, so be it. Again, having handed over my money for a quarter of a century out of a simple sense of duty seems enough to me; handing over cash any and every time I have it in addition to that, as well as making donations (and never writing them off...haven't done that once in my life...not even when I donated my car), seems plenty to me.

If someone behind me in line wants to gasp when I gently say "no" without any further explanation, let that person feel superior for that moment. Maybe he or she needs to. I know I'm supporting myself and my family and asking nothing in return, and giving consistently, and knowing it inwardly is enough to me. People will think what they want to anyway...right? Even if you were to hand over your firstborn on line at Von's ("Here...he's a very hard worker"), somebody somewhere would still have something to say about how stingy you are, so honestly, who cares? If you don't want to donate...say "no"...not in a whisper but in a normal and pleasant tone of voice.
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Old 08-12-2009, 11:36 PM
 
25,739 posts, read 26,340,762 times
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Oh, and...quick illustration here of how it's really never enough. I know I relayed this story on here once but it was a long time ago.

I was in the Babys 'R Us parking lot and a boy about high school or college age came up and asked me for money...I think he said he needed it "for the bus," which is what pretty much every single person who doesn't look like a veteran says when begging. If they do look like veterans, they say they're veterans and out of work. (Yeah, I know, cynicism, but sorry, seen this sooooooooo many times...and as I said before, I give anyway.)

Anyway, he was dressed nicely enough and what-not and could have had any story, but whatever...I was going to give or I wasn't; he didn't owe me his story. So I told him I didn't know how much change I had on me but whatever I had, he could have. I rifled through my wallet and came up with, oh, I don't even remember any more. It was probably under a dollar but somewhere close to it, all in change.

He got annoyed because I didn't have any dollar bills!

I could only smile hard to keep from laughing outright and wish him luck, and continue on into the store. Nerve much?

Again, stuff like that doesn't stop me from giving. If I have it and I don't need it and someone asks for it, okay. That's my choice and I usually choose "yes". But to have someone get p*ssed because I was "making" him carry around change instead of nice crisp bills? WTF. Are you kidding me??

As far as the OP's illustration, muscular dystrophy: that seriously gets to the heart because you think "What if that were my child?" In fact we have a child with autism and have signed on with this or that autism association and all THEY can do is ask us for money. "We're getting closer! We're getting closer!" To what? Nothing that I can see thus far. Do I still give when I can and when I want to? Yes. Do I get guilted into it? No. Do I really believe that all my money, or even 50% of it, is going "toward a cure" (whatever that means/entails) and that if I don't hand over $5 this very day, some little child will be hurt by me? People, please. And by the way, anyone who does feel for special needs children can volunteer. I GUARANTEE those kids get a ton out of it. I seriously guarantee it. Ask me how I know.

But don't lie in bed awake tonight because your $1 could have cured the world of muscular dystrophy. Yes, give when you can and particularly when you know the association is legitimate. You can't know that in less than five seconds while being pressured at a store. Giving that $1 won't make God love you more than he does now. On the other hand, withholding all the time is bad too. Very very bad. For society in general. But if you give, do it because you want to, not because you're guilted into it.
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Old 08-13-2009, 05:36 AM
 
Location: Bella Vista, Ark
75,013 posts, read 87,443,743 times
Reputation: 45618
Quote:
Originally Posted by VLWH View Post
The other day I went to Vons to pick up a few things. I swiped my vons card and then the screen displayed a message asking if I want to make a donation to the Muscular Dystrophy Association, I proceeded to press no. Just as I hit no, The clerk asked if I wanted to make a donation to MDA, I told him no. What really bugs me is not only do I have to deal with the solicitors at the door on the way in and then while leaving, but now I have to put up with the clerk hitting me up for a donation and putting me on the spot in front of everyone in line.

Now I don't mind them having a bucket setup at the checkstand for collections or those little card you can pick up and they scan and add the donation to your bill. It just really gets to be too much when every time you turn around it seems someone is always hitting you up for money. I do donate money whenever possible, but enough is enough.
this doesn't seem new to me. I have been asked by clerks in almost every store I have been in whether or not I wanted to donate to this or that. In fact our bank in NM did the same. I would rather get asked than have them bug me on the phone. If I don't want to give I just say "not this time" I would be a little annoyed if I respnsed no once and then was verbally asked.

Nita
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Old 08-13-2009, 08:38 AM
 
10,630 posts, read 23,960,199 times
Reputation: 6716
Yes, that bugs me, too, but I don't feel guilty saying no. My bigger pet peeve for Von's is that they always address you by name if you use a credit card. I assume it's some sort of corporate-mandate.

On the donation front, I do want to give Von's some credit for having their own corporate philanthrophy program. I'm not sure exactly where the money is coming from - if it's all store-given, or if's partly employee contributions - but Von's employees have a role in directing grants towards local charities that they support.

Also, along the topic of LA-area grocery store charitable giving, those of you with Ralph's cards should look online and consider register your card so that a percentage of your spending goes to a local nonprofit (you get to choose from any of the places registered). I know schools and museums (maybe any nonprofit with an educational mission?) are registered. It doesn't cost you anything, and the charity/school gets a quarterly check.
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Old 08-13-2009, 11:43 AM
 
Location: CITY OF ANGELS AND CONSTANT DANGER
5,409 posts, read 11,551,491 times
Reputation: 2251
how is this an issue?

wow, the petty things that upset people.

all you gotta say is NO. why feel bad? especially if you already "donate money whenever possible"?

besides, does it really matter what some stranger behind you is thinking?

it does not matter to me. i say no. if they ask at the bank, at the gorcery store, or mcdonalds, if i am unable to donate i just say NO. when a bum asks me for money, if i have some change i give it, otherwise i politely say "sorry, you gotta catch me on a better day brother/sister"

no big deal.

is this really a thread?
really?!
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