East Coast to West Coast--how long before you assimilated? (Berkeley: transfer, live)

[JerZ]

Originally Posted by Calibound-Yorkiemom

It sure is! I love it Children are so precious! How old? I live in Center City. What part of Jersey?

Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't see you'd responded. I'm from Bergen County. I used to venture into Manhattan (99.9% of the time somewhere in Midtown) for stuff for my company about once a month. Around the holidays it was more often.

I have three sons. One is 21! The middle one is 4, and the littlest is 16 months.

[CousinPete]

Originally Posted by JerZ

Thanks, ((UB50)). That helps tremendously.

To update (especially for some of the newbies here posting out of the blue with the typical "waa" stuff ): I originally started this thread in June. At that time, I didn't think I was going to be able to go back to the east coast this year at all. But my husband got a raise this summer and he told me, "Buy a ticket!" It's funny that this thread got bumped up now...only a couple of days before I actually am flying back east. We have tons of stuff planned. My brother is coming out, I'll be staying with my sister, and will be with my oldest son (and the baby, who is flying out with me); I'll be meeting my oldest son's girlfriend's parents; meeting with my cousins...doing autumn-type things, like pumpkin picking, and I can't wait.

I actually am starting to feel somewhat like this is home. Not my original home, but I'm starting to identify with it a little. I don't see myself in LA permanently...but then again, neither does my husband, and he was born here and lived here for 31 years. We both just want something a little different in the future. He wants the west; I want seasons. We're playing around with the idea of Washington or Oregon, for the far future. We'll see what happens.

I will always be *from* the east coast, though. If I could 100% have my way, I'm sure that's where we'd be. But I'm not the only person to consider in this...this is home to my husband, the west, and it's as unfair of me to want him completely away from it as it is for me to be expected to stay completely away from what I'm familiar with. And my two younger sons are growing up here and are imprinting on and identifying with this place and this culture. So we'll probably eventually compromise. I still miss the east badly, but since June, it's become less harsh.

I don't actually think I'll every feel L.A. is "home". That's not whimpering...ahhhhhhh, don'tcha' just love it when newbies burst on the scene, knowing nothing about one's history or one's former post and start spouting off....LOL. That's okay...it takes all kinds...

sorry i was only playing. have fun on your trip

[ccsalty]

I know this is a older post but I just wanted to agree with you....sometimes I have the same feeling, that I am close to tears missing home. (Im from Cape Cod--MA, one of the prettiest natural places...moved here for grad school with my Boyfriend of 6 years)
I've really only made friends here with people who are also from back east...having the hardest time fitting in with people, it just seems like i talk too much, or too fast, I don't wash my car enough, like public transportation and dunkin donuts....basically I can't let it go. Its been over a year, I want to go back every day. So if it takes 10 years to assimilate i don't know what to do.
Not to say i sit around and cry all the time, I try to make my own experiences, but I have never felt homesickness like this.
I wish we could start a support group!

[cyntmac]

I think there actually is a support group like that. I think I saw it on meetup.com. It was essentially an ex-NewYorker's group and was started due to people experiencing some of the same issues. They were people from the New York area meeting in L.A. but they should start one for the Valley, Pasadena areas, etc. I don't know if it was mostly single people but someone could start one for all types of people. I will check and see if meetup still has it listed and post back here.

[NYSD1995]

I moved to SoCal from Long Island almost 12 years ago. I still miss NY but not enough to move back there. I spend a week a year there and by the end of the week I'm dying to go back to California.

[puffle]

Originally Posted by JerZ

Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't see you'd responded. I'm from Bergen County. I used to venture into Manhattan (99.9% of the time somewhere in Midtown) for stuff for my company about once a month. Around the holidays it was more often.

I have three sons. One is 21! The middle one is 4, and the littlest is 16 months.

I was so happy for you JerZ that you got to go back home for a visit. At first I thought you were moving back home because of hubbies raise, then realized it was for a visit. How was it? I hope you got to do everything you wanted to do.

[UB50]

Originally Posted by ccsalty

I know this is a older post but I just wanted to agree with you....sometimes I have the same feeling, that I am close to tears missing home. (Im from Cape Cod--MA, one of the prettiest natural places...moved here for grad school with my Boyfriend of 6 years)
I've really only made friends here with people who are also from back east...having the hardest time fitting in with people, it just seems like i talk too much, or too fast, I don't wash my car enough, like public transportation and dunkin donuts....basically I can't let it go. Its been over a year, I want to go back every day. So if it takes 10 years to assimilate i don't know what to do.
Not to say i sit around and cry all the time, I try to make my own experiences, but I have never felt homesickness like this.
I wish we could start a support group!

You'll be okay. Maybe everyone here should start a support group? The City-Data Support Group? That might be kind of fun!!!

I moved here from the East Coast too and it was hard at first but now I think it would be hard to leave. There is so much here! REALLY!! There are a lot of things here! And a lot of people too!!

Cheer up! It gets better!

[CadenzaFermata]

I know exactly what you're talking about! I moved to Phoenix from Pennsylvania about 7 months ago with my long-term girlfriend and I've been experiencing some pretty strange things psychologically for awhile now that I've come to see as severe homesickness.

The first 3 months I felt pretty excited and content with life in the desert. I felt like I was on vacation every day and I got to drive past a gorgeous mountain (Camelback in case there's anyone from PHX reading this) to Scottsdale for my job every day. I went to Sedona in July and cried over how beautiful it was and felt like Arizona was an amazing state. Then sometime around the beginning of September I started feeling a lot of anxiety and at the end of the month I had a panic attack out of the blue while driving to work one day. After this I spent pretty much all of October and November feeling depressed and numb except for a brief period of time when my friends came to visit over Thanksgiving. I started seeing a counselor at the end of October and I decided to change jobs at the beginning of November since I wasn't really making enough money and I also wanted to devote myself to a career teaching music (which is what I went to college for) in Glendale. In December I felt like I was bipolar because of daily mood swings I began having which ranged between feeling incredibly sad and wanting to leave and feeling high as a kite and loving Arizona. My parents came out to visit over Christmas and since they left I have fallen into a deep hole emotionally. I went back to my teaching job this week and have felt apathetic towards it and having anxiety attacks and wanting to drive back to my apartment every day.

I am now finding myself afraid of going back to Pennsylvania to visit my family and friends because I am worried that I will feel too good being home and not want to come back here. I have completely lost my desire to travel to places outside the city (even going to Sedona made me sad the last time I went) and I now get depressed when I drive to places I used to love going to in the Phoenix area. I just don't understand how I could love a place so much and feel like it was so right for me and now feel completely lost and depressed about my life.

There are so many opportunities out here and I do love the weather and the scenery (although I miss seasons a bit). The people kind of bother me at times though because they seem not willing to make friends and after seven months my girlfriend is still the only person I feel really close to out here. And of course my girlfriend loves it out here and would be miserable if we moved back east. I don't really even know if moving back to PA would make me feel better at this point. I mean, it would be familiar and I would be closer to my family, but I would probably not be able to find a job teaching and I'd also probably end up going back to college to get another degree to pass the time.

I really don't know what to do about this. My counselor also seems to be stuck with how to help me manage this. And in the meantime, what can I do to be happy enough to get by out here? I feel like I'm ruining my life!

[CadenzaFermata]

And yes, I realize that this thread is for LA people, but there aren't any like this on the Phoenix page so I hope nobody minds me posting on here.

...I'm only 5 hours away from you guys anyway...

[JerZ]

Originally Posted by ccsalty

I know this is a older post but I just wanted to agree with you....sometimes I have the same feeling, that I am close to tears missing home. (Im from Cape Cod--MA, one of the prettiest natural places...moved here for grad school with my Boyfriend of 6 years)
I've really only made friends here with people who are also from back east...having the hardest time fitting in with people, it just seems like i talk too much, or too fast, I don't wash my car enough, like public transportation and dunkin donuts....basically I can't let it go. Its been over a year, I want to go back every day. So if it takes 10 years to assimilate i don't know what to do.
Not to say i sit around and cry all the time, I try to make my own experiences, but I have never felt homesickness like this.
I wish we could start a support group!

When I was a little girl we used to vacation on Cape Cod. Prettiest natural places--I have to agree. The entire atmosphere was wonderful. I am so sorry you're homesick. If you want to talk about it, PM me, ok?