U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Covid-19 Information Page
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Louisiana
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 03-20-2009, 04:28 AM
 
Location: Fordyce Arkansas
1,269 posts, read 2,178,754 times
Reputation: 1496

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gypsyrhydyr View Post
Hi y'all. Stacieberry sent me an invite. She said something about me being a funny gal...she should know that looks don't count in the dark!

LOL at the nuns.

Humor in the Restroom - The Wisdom you can find on the Walls

1. Friends don't let their friends take home a ugly men. (Women's restroom in Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE.)

2. Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?" (Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia.

3. No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap. (Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina

4. Make love, not war. Hell, do both, get married! (Women's restroom, The Filling Station, Bozeman, Montana

5. A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it. (Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, Texas)

6. No wonder you always go home alone. (From a Sign over mirror in Men's restroom at Beverly Hills, CA)

7. Beauty is only a light switch away (Restroom in the Perkins Library, University of Houston-Clear Lake)

8. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. (Women's restroom, The Irish Times, Washington, DC

9. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. (Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Flagstaff, Arizona.)

10. If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. (From Revolution Books, New York, New York)

11, Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die. (Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL)

12. Please don't throw your cigarette butts in the urinal. It makes them soggy and hard to light. --The Janitor (unknown)

13. What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands. (Men's restroom, Lynagh's, Lexington, KY)
I can not speek for everyone but you are welcome here anytime!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-20-2009, 04:39 AM
 
Location: Fordyce Arkansas
1,269 posts, read 2,178,754 times
Reputation: 1496
Husband comes home and said: wife pack your bags I just won the lottery! Wife: what do I need to pack? Where are we going? Husband: everything cause I do not know where you are going but you gotta go somewhere!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-20-2009, 06:17 AM
 
Location: Fordyce Arkansas
1,269 posts, read 2,178,754 times
Reputation: 1496
Default redneck Valentine's poem

Kudzu is green, my dog’s name is BlueAnd I’m so lucky to have a sweet thang like you. Yore hair is like cornsilk, a-flapping in the breeze.Softer than Blue’s and without all them fleas. You move like the bass, which excite me in May.You ain’t got no scales, but I luv you anyway. You’re as graceful as okry, jist a-dancin’ in the pan.Yo’re as fragrant as SunDrop right out of the can. You have all yore teeth, for which I am proud;I hold my head high when we’re in a crowd. On special occasions, when you shave yore armpits,Well, I’m in hawg heaven, I’m plumb outta my wits. And speakin’ of wits, you’ve got plenty fer shore.‘Cuz you married me back in ‘74. Still them fellers at work they all want to know,What I did to deserve such a purty, young doe. Like a good roll of duct tape, yo’re there fer yore man,To patch up life’s troubles and stick ‘em in the can. Yo’re as strong as a four-wheeler racin’ through the mud,Yet fragile as that sanger named Naomi Judd. Yo’re as cute as a junebug a-buzzin’ overhead.You ain’t mean like no far ant upon which I oft’ tread. Cut from the best pattern like a flannel shirt of plaid,You sparked up my life like a Rattletrap shad. When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,My life is complete; Ain’t nuttin’ I lack. Yore complexion, it’s perfection, like the best vinyl sidin’.Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin’. And when you get old like a ‘57 Chevy,Won’t put you on blocks and let grass grow up heavy. Me ‘n’ you’s like a Moon Pie, with a RC cold drank,We go together like a skunk goes with stank. Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine’s Day;They git it at Wal-Mart; It’s romantic that way. Some men git roses on that special day,From the cooler at Kroger. “That’s impressive,” I say. Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.“Diamonds are forever,” they explain, suave and couth. But for this man, honey, these will not do.For you are too special, you sweet thang you. I got you a gift, without taste nor odour,Better than diamonds, it’s a new trollin’ motor.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-20-2009, 08:52 AM
 
Location: Wrangell, AK
297 posts, read 555,300 times
Reputation: 669
Good morning to the LA chatters from Alaska (it's a quarter to seven here...) I've got a new joke for ms. stacieberry.


The Genie
A man and his wife are playing golf and it’s the wife's turn to hit. "Now honey, be careful, don't break anything" he says to her. Carelessly the wife swings and breaks a neighbor’s window across the street. They go over to apologize only to find a man sitting on his couch. They knock on the door and the wife answers. "Hey sorry bout the wind-" but the man on the couch interrupts and says "Hey it’s quite all right. I am a genie and by breaking that glass you freed me after a curse confined me for 150 years." The couple is puzzled. then excited as the genie continues, “For setting me free I am going to grant you guys 3 wishes" The couple then gets very excited and the husband takes the 1st one. "I want a house in every city." "Boom done" says the genie. Now its wife’s turn "I want a new car and a big fur coat." "Boom it will be there when you get home" goes the Genie. "Well, genie you been so kind to us you can have the last wish" says the husband. "Well… I was in that bottle for 150 years and... I haven’t had sex in all that time…do you mind if I....with your wife....?” The husband stumbles for a moment but says "I guess you can if it’s alright with you, honey?" "Well, ummm... ok" the wife agrees. Then the genie and the wife go upstairs and have sex for 2 hours. After they get done the genie says “So, how old is your husband?" The wife says "He’s 35." The genie grins, and then asks, "And he still believes in Genies???”

Last edited by Gypsyrhydyr; 03-20-2009 at 08:53 AM.. Reason: excessive format info
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-20-2009, 05:57 PM
 
Location: Fordyce Arkansas
1,269 posts, read 2,178,754 times
Reputation: 1496
Birthday Girl: Joe was talking to his buddy at the bar, and he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday - she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stumped." His buddy said, "I have an idea - why don't you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it - she'll probably be thrilled."So the that's what Joe did.The next day at the bar his buddy said, "Well? Did you take my suggestion?""Yes, I did," said Joe."Did she like it?" His buddy asked."Oh yes! she jumped up , thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door, yelling "I'll be back in an hour!!"
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-20-2009, 06:05 PM
 
Location: Fordyce Arkansas
1,269 posts, read 2,178,754 times
Reputation: 1496
Good evening all you lovely people. How are you doing tonight? Gypsy so glad you joined us! I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. Later. Oh yeah by the way.... Get to posting!! Let's see those jokes or just hello post but we wanna see you doing something!!! Smile yall LOL just wanna keep it going.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-20-2009, 08:10 PM
 
Location: Haynesville, La.-Pangburn, Ar.
929 posts, read 2,440,913 times
Reputation: 691
[quote=stacieberry;7977413]Good evening all you lovely people. How are you doing tonight? Gypsy so glad you joined us! I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. Later. Oh yeah by the way.... Get to posting!! Let's see those jokes or just hello post but we wanna see you doing something!!! Smile yall LOL just wanna keep it going.[/quot

Get em going Stacie. You have become quite the jokester, haven't you?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-20-2009, 08:13 PM
 
Location: Haynesville, La.-Pangburn, Ar.
929 posts, read 2,440,913 times
Reputation: 691
Old Love
>>
>>
>>
>> A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite.
>>
>> He throws the kite up in the air, the wind
>>
>> catches it for a few seconds, then it comes crashing back down to
>> earth.
>>
>> He tries this a few more times with no success.
>>
>> All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window,
>>
>> muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.
>>
>> She opens the window and yells to her husband,
>>
>> 'You need a piece of tail.'
>>
>> The man turns with a confused look on his face and says,
>>
>> 'Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-20-2009, 08:16 PM
 
Location: Haynesville, La.-Pangburn, Ar.
929 posts, read 2,440,913 times
Reputation: 691
Subject: July 8,1947


Some of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, a little over 60 years ago, witnesses claim that an unidentified flying object (UFO) with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell , New Mexico . This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. Air Force and other federal agencies and organizations.
However, what you may NOT know is that in the month of April 1948, nine months after that historic day, the following people were born:
Albert A. Gore, Jr.
Hillary Rodham
John F. Kerry
William J. Clinton
Howard Dean
Nancy Pelosi
Dianne Feinstein
Charles E. Schumer
Barbara Boxer
See what happens when aliens breed with sheep?
I certainly hope this bit of information clears up a lot of things for you. It did for me.
No wonder they support the bill to help illegal aliens!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-20-2009, 08:17 PM
 
Location: Haynesville, La.-Pangburn, Ar.
929 posts, read 2,440,913 times
Reputation: 691
dog legs
What do you call a dog with no legs?

It don't matter, he ain't comin' anyway
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Options
X
Data:
Loading data...
Based on 2000-2016 data
Loading data...

123
Hide US histogram

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Louisiana
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top