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Old 04-03-2009, 10:35 AM
 
Location: Fordyce Arkansas
1,269 posts, read 2,180,686 times
Reputation: 1496

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gypsyrhydyr View Post
Good Morning Louisiana!

For the record it is 38 degrees and the sun is shining! What a day....



Giving Up Drugs
Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge.

The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I’d like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and pursued them to give up drugs forever. I’ll see you back in court Monday."

Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one,” How did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."

"17 people? That’s wonderful. What did you tell them?"

"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs."

"That’s admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?" (To the 2nd guy)

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."

"156 people! That’s amazing! How did you manage to do that!"

"Well, I used the same two circles. I pointed to the small circle and told them, `This is your ***hole before prison...`"
Good morning Gypsy! How are you? It is a beautiful day here to close to 70!! Anyways great joke I am going to copy it and send to hubby! LOL
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Old 04-03-2009, 11:10 PM
 
Location: TENNESSEE
159 posts, read 513,080 times
Reputation: 48
TGIF!!! hope everyone enjoys their weekend.
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Old 04-04-2009, 03:34 PM
 
Location: Fordyce Arkansas
1,269 posts, read 2,180,686 times
Reputation: 1496
Hello hope your weekend is going good!
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Old 04-04-2009, 06:16 PM
 
Location: Fordyce Arkansas
1,269 posts, read 2,180,686 times
Reputation: 1496
Default the drunk

A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Drinks for all on me. That is including you, bartender." The bartender follows the man's order and says, "That will be $42.50 please." The drunk says he has no money, and the bartender slaps him around and throws him out. The next night, the same drunk comes in and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including the bartender. Again, the bartender follows the drunk's instructions and the drunk says he has no money. So the bartender slaps him around and throws him out. On the third night he comes in, the drunk orders drinks for everyone except the bartender. The bartender says, "What, no drink for me?" "Oh, no. You get violent when you drink."
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Old 04-04-2009, 06:35 PM
 
Location: Fordyce Arkansas
1,269 posts, read 2,180,686 times
Reputation: 1496
Rednecks Are Smart "Hello, is this the FBI?" "Yes. What do you want?" "I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood." "Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left. The phone rings at Billy Bob's house. "Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep." "Merry Christmas Buddy."
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Old 04-04-2009, 06:40 PM
 
Location: Western Hoosierland
18,264 posts, read 7,554,462 times
Reputation: 5943
Hello Everybody!
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Old 04-04-2009, 06:42 PM
 
Location: Monroe, Louisiana
887 posts, read 2,709,824 times
Reputation: 539
Sup.
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Old 04-04-2009, 06:44 PM
 
Location: Fordyce Arkansas
1,269 posts, read 2,180,686 times
Reputation: 1496
Meeting St. Peter Three blonde friends died together in a car wreck. They found themselves standing in front of the pearly gates with St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter heaven, they had to tell him what Easter was about. The first blonde said, "Easter is a big holiday where we give thanks, have a big feast and eat turkey." "Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in." The second blonde said, "Easter is the holiday that we celebrate Jesus' being born of the virgin and give gifts to each other." "Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in, either." The third blonde said, "Well, I know what Easter is all about. Easter is a Christian holiday which coincides with the Jewish Passover. After Jesus celebrated Passover with His disciples, He was betrayed by Judas and turned over to the Romans. They crucified Him on a cross. After He died, they buried him in a tomb and put a huge boulder in front of it." "Very good!" said St. Peter. The blonde continued. "Now, every year, the Jews roll the stone away and Jesus comes out. If He sees his shadow, we have 6 more weeks of basketball." St. Peter fainted!
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Old 04-04-2009, 06:45 PM
 
Location: Western Hoosierland
18,264 posts, read 7,554,462 times
Reputation: 5943
Quote:
Originally Posted by LSU Tiger Z71 View Post
Sup.

nothing much just chattin around
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Old 04-04-2009, 06:48 PM
 
Location: Fordyce Arkansas
1,269 posts, read 2,180,686 times
Reputation: 1496
Hey yall! How you doing Gdude!
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