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I'm new to CityData btw. Im 24, lived in Louisville all my life. I've moved around the city quite a bit though, lived in ten different parts of town. Anyways, in my 24 years of life I've always noticed it seems like it's really hard to make friends in Louisville. It seems Louisville is defined by cliques, you are either in a clique of 10+ friends or you have very few yet scattered friends. I have been in cliques before unfortunately but out of peer pressure. I'm not a fan of cliques to be honest, I find them boorish and something that should have stayed in high school. For years I thought it was just me but recently I have discovered others share this opinion. So what gives? I've lived here all my life and I can't put my finger on it. Although I'm willing to bet it has to do with the clique culture here as most cliques period aren't into welcoming new members.
[quote=Ryno25;38630253]I'm new to CityData btw. Im 24, lived in Louisville all my life. I've moved around the city quite a bit though, lived in ten different parts of town. Anyways, in my 24 years of life I've always noticed it seems like it's really hard to make friends in Louisville. It seems Louisville is defined by cliques, you are either in a clique of 10+ friends or you have very few yet scattered friends. I have been in cliques before unfortunately but out of peer pressure. I'm not a fan of cliques to be honest, I find them boorish and something that should have stayed in high school. For years I thought it was just me but recently I have discovered others share this opinion. So what gives? I've lived here all my life and I can't put my finger on it. Although I'm willing to bet it has to do with the clique culture here as most cliques period aren't into welcoming new members
I disagree. Try joining a club. Hit up the library. Get online. You will be ok
You can make friends in Louisville but I agree it's can be difficult as the city is very clique-ish. That isn't to say you can't make friends if you make an effort. In general, people are very friendly in Louisville but more guarded once you get past the initial friendliness (not that it's necessarily a bad thing). It's like alot of cities that don't see alot of migration, I found Cincinnati to be very similar. I loved Cincinnati and met alot of good friends there, but when some of us newcomers mixed with some of the locals it was very hard to break in. This didn't bother me since I was used to it growing up in Louisville but really bothered some of my friends who weren't from the area.
After living on the East Coast the last few years it's quite the opposite. People are extremely blunt and at times rude, but after you get passed that they are very opening and trusting of new people in a way that isn't the case back home. But people also move around more so many don't have a built in clique to belong to and many clique's are broken up when someone moves.
Basically, my take is it's partially cultural but also due to the lack of migration. Some people find the small town, cliquey feel of Louisville to be very charming. I'm not one of them but I also understand why it appeals to some.
You can make friends in Louisville but I agree it's can be difficult as the city is very clique-ish. That isn't to say you can't make friends if you make an effort. In general, people are very friendly in Louisville but more guarded once you get past the initial friendliness (not that it's necessarily a bad thing). It's like alot of cities that don't see alot of migration, I found Cincinnati to be very similar. I loved Cincinnati and met alot of good friends there, but when some of us newcomers mixed with some of the locals it was very hard to break in. This didn't bother me since I was used to it growing up in Louisville but really bothered some of my friends who weren't from the area.
After living on the East Coast the last few years it's quite the opposite. People are extremely blunt and at times rude, but after you get passed that they are very opening and trusting of new people in a way that isn't the case back home. But people also move around more so many don't have a built in clique to belong to and many clique's are broken up when someone moves.
Basically, my take is it's partially cultural but also due to the lack of migration. Some people find the small town, cliquey feel of Louisville to be very charming. I'm not one of them but I also understand why it appeals to some.
Thank you! Finally someone who understands. The problem isn't that I don't have friends, I have a few but they either live in another state or the ones that live here work third shift. It's hard to do anything with friends when they work third shift and I work first and second shifts. Most of my relatives have suggested in order to make new friends I need to join another clique and I always respond "over my dead body". I have been in three different cliques. First clique was freshman year of high school, and it was the best clique I was in by far. It was a smaller clique so I think that's why it worked. Although the following summer everyone moved but myself. The next two cliques I was a part of, long story short, they were terrible. Rather not go into detail. Now I'm not saying all this to feel sorry for myself. In fact I have become stronger since these events took place. I can now say I am levelheaded and I know what I want out of life(for the most part). I'm saying this because this is why I don't like cliques and I want something more than that. The last year many of my remaining friends left the state and I tried making new friends but with no success. Everyone I tried making friends with was already in an established clique and established cliques have a tendency to not include new members. I can actually understand that part at least. All I want is to meet some new people that aren't bullies and have the maturity of a 10 year old.
I LOVE Louisville. I grew up there, but I didn't have many friends there when I lived there, and I don't keep close contact with any of them now. The majority of my close friends were made when I lived in Indianapolis, a town I despised. All but 2 of them have since moved away from Indy because they hated it as much as I did.
The lack of population inflow seems like a very valid reason for the "cliquish" feeling. I certainly felt that way when I switched from public to private school (and eventually back to public) in middle and high school.
That doesn't change my affinity for the city though. Friendly on the surface is all I need at this point as a non-resident occasional visitor.
I LOVE Louisville. I grew up there, but I didn't have many friends there when I lived there, and I don't keep close contact with any of them now. The majority of my close friends were made when I lived in Indianapolis, a town I despised. All but 2 of them have since moved away from Indy because they hated it as much as I did.
The lack of population inflow seems like a very valid reason for the "cliquish" feeling. I certainly felt that way when I switched from public to private school (and eventually back to public) in middle and high school.
That doesn't change my affinity for the city though. Friendly on the surface is all I need at this point as a non-resident occasional visitor.
However Louisville has changed....drastically....it gains more young professionals than it loses, and there is far from a brain drain. I meet people from all over the country moving here. It is a much different city than even 10 years ago. There is a buzz...you just have to find it. I agree there is still that "cliquey" vibe in certain circles. The difference is now there are a ton of transplants moving into the area so if you do not get along with long time homers, get together with transplants (I am a transplant and love it)
Location: New Albany, Indiana (Greater Louisville)
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From my experience people have a compatibility with cities just like they do with other people. I make more friends in Louisville in a month than I did in Lexington in 8 years, and I don't hate Lexington it's just not as good for me. Some of my experiences in school or even at jobs there were straight out of hell, but I will never tell anyone not to move there because of MY experience because THEY may love it. Strangely I also really click with Cincinnati people even though I find most people there to be sour faced and uptight on periodic visits. I was born there though.
Also, transplants are not equally distributed throughout the metro. The lion's share are in the NE suburbs into Oldham Co. Up here it's like a mini Charlotte. There are times when I'm at a traffic signal on Westport Rd and I'm the only KY plate at the light. Places like Valley Station, Okolona, Southern Indiana's working class neighborhoods have almost no out of region transplants. This metro area has tremendously different places to live. A socialist vegan would love the Highlands but hate Fairdale. A card carrying NRA member that hunts would hate Crescent Hill but love Bullitt Co. Just saying you can make Louisville out to be anything because it has a little bit of everything. If you end up in the area that doesn't match with your interests you will hate it more than likely
From my experience people have a compatibility with cities just like they do with other people. I make more friends in Louisville in a month than I did in Lexington in 8 years, and I don't hate Lexington it's just not as good for me. Some of my experiences in school or even at jobs there were straight out of hell, but I will never tell anyone not to move there because of MY experience because THEY may love it. Strangely I also really click with Cincinnati people even though I find most people there to be sour faced and uptight on periodic visits. I was born there though.
Also, transplants are not equally distributed throughout the metro. The lion's share are in the NE suburbs into Oldham Co. Up here it's like a mini Charlotte. There are times when I'm at a traffic signal on Westport Rd and I'm the only KY plate at the light. Places like Valley Station, Okolona, Southern Indiana's working class neighborhoods have almost no out of region transplants. This metro area has tremendously different places to live. A socialist vegan would love the Highlands but hate Fairdale. A card carrying NRA member that hunts would hate Crescent Hill but love Bullitt Co. Just saying you can make Louisville out to be anything because it has a little bit of everything. If you end up in the area that doesn't match with your interests you will hate it more than likely
I wish I could get my wife to like Bullit County.....been tryin but it's just to far out for her. I don't hunt ( although most of my Kentucky family does ) but I like hills and scenery, trees, Bullit county is more my style. But ther wife and I will find a great compromise I'm sure.
There's good and bad with everywhere...I mean, you have to network folks. My wife and I, even though she's argentine and I'm an american with Kentucky roots, we are kinda chameleons and we can adapt to alot of diff situations and folks with diff strokes so I'm sure we'll make plenty of friends. I have friends that play Bluegrass and country music ( like me, I play Bluegrass and Folk Fiddle and Mandolin ) that live up there, and of course my family. But then, I also have friends who are Argentine, Chilean, Brazilian, Mexican....I'm 100% fluently bilingual and I love latinos, they're a great bunch of folks, so it can be done, just gotta be sociable and get out there and meet folks, that's all and put yourself out there. I've even had some african american freinds, a few were great musicians.
We'll have Kentucky friends and argentine and latino friends, we'll be the weirdest couple in Louisville probably.
Having been born and raised here - with the exception of a 5 year stint in New York, Ive been here all my life. And I do feel what you are talking about, where people become very comfortable and accustomed to their groups. Church groups, schools, folks around here just like to stick to what is comfortable.
I will say that I have made the most friends looking for sport pickup games around town. It is a natural mix of people from all over the metro area, and I have made some real friends.
Another difference between NY and Louisville - when I lived up there, I had 100's of people who I would consider my friends. Neighbors and work buddies, people you see on the subway daily or at your local bar - the second I left, I never heard from them again. My Louisville friends stay in touch all the time, just a how you doing, quick call, email, drink. Friends down here are far more real.
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