Been here about 13 months and bored to death. (Milwaukee, Madison: homes, job market)

[Megan1967]

When I've moved I've found it takes at least two years to make a good core group of friends. Until you reach that point, anywhere is going to be boring and lonely.

Some people are good at doing things by themselves, most are not. I had a friend who moved to NYC and felt completely isolated and had nothing to do because he had no one to do things with.

You do need to get out there somehow, however, as sitting at home will pretty much ensure you will be isolated. That's sort of one of the downfalls of this climate, however. It is hard to get out in the winter.

[Nala8]

So true. Moving is not necessarily the solution. Nothing more lonely than being alone in a crowd or lost caught up in mindless busyness. On my end, NYC is where I have a strong interconnected community of friends, family, and colleagues. Plus my line of work (both my career and my creative work, which are nicely intertwined) is leading me back to where I can find more work and mutual support. As a single, professional woman of color, also of a "certain age," I don't have forever to try to build a new community of friends. I don't fit in here, which is totally fine. I think that this laid back Madison vibe is nice, when I need a break from the proverbial hustle and bustle or to regroup, retool, or write; but it makes finding or creating solid friendships harder than in a more naturally outgoing city or culture. I think each person has to work a little bit, do some real soul-searching, and city-by-city research to find the right fit. To each his or her own. I always say. Sitting around the apartment wishing things were different must be boring and perhaps also a bit depressing. OP and Sondra, I hope you get out more. I know I will. Right now I am on the lookout for a quiet corner of a park somewhere on the near east side to strum my guitar and enjoy the outdoors. Next Saturday you will find me at a city-wide open mic celebration of writers. The key for me is to savor Madison, bit by bit, and to enjoy moments of friendship with my coworkers, adult students, and poetry friends.

[susancruzs]

Interesting comments and truth in all of them. I didn't mention that at this stage of my life, I want smaller, quieter, I've done the bigger routine (well, suburbs of Chicagoland). I'm 62 and the quiet is nice. I'll be here 3 yrs. this fall and it did take a little while to have friends.

I do miss certain things, my cousin and I used to meet and try different restaurants and I would have to drive a distance to try something new or ethnic variety (not a chain)!

[fisherman26]

Hmmmm...I always love the comparisons of a place like Chicago, and somehow people having the same expectations when moving to a much smaller place. Living in Madison, I go to live concerts, in nice small venues, festivals that are very easy to get to (the Marquette Waterfront is coming up in a couple of months--there's also Bratfest and there's ALWAYS beer to be drank in this town), and while it's not always 'official' ethnic food, take part in eating ethnic foods. No, there is not as many of these things here, but they do exist. You basically just have to not be ignorant.

It's like when I tell friends that are originally from Minneapolis about different bands that are coming through, and they very passive-aggressively don't attend, because it's not in Minneapolis...

Also depends on things that you may like doing. This is a great time of year to go hiking at Devil's Lake (40 minutes) or learn about trout fishing (30 minutes, or less) or go take a look at other wildlife-oriented things going on (HUGE Muskies at the dam by the zoo).

Basically, if you're not finding things to do, you're not looking, or are just ignoring them, or are afraid of going out of the comfort zone to try them...

Socially, it IS quite lame here--very cliquey and a 'from there' kind of place. Lots of flakes.

[mrsincredible]

Originally Posted by Chelito23

Madison offers a nice, quiet and laid back life style. It is a good place to raise a family and be safe and earn a nice living. That is it's claim to fame. It has not and never will be the South Beach of the Midwest nor does it try to be. If you get out and about you can find things to do. It will be different than in major cities, but you have the choice to make the most out of the opportunity, the city isn't going to jump through hoops for someone who moved here and complains that it isn't like New York or LA or wherever. A positive attitude does make a big difference.

Quoted for truth! I moved here thinking I was going to be miserable with the winters but I have really come to appreciate it anyway for the reasons above. Madison is a wonderful, safe, outdoorsy and laid back place to raise a family.

[Nala8]

Originally Posted by mrsincredible

Quoted for truth! I moved here thinking I was going to be miserable with the winters but I have really come to appreciate it anyway for the reasons above. Madison is a wonderful, safe, outdoorsy and laid back place to raise a family.

Yes, for many, but in reality it also depends on who you are and how you fit in.

[GotORGANICMilk]

Hey there. Yeah-Madison, WI is a tiny town in comparison to those metro areas. So its positives are just different. After being here for a couple years, my best advice is for you - if you are GOING TO REALLY TRY - is to get out there and try some groups, find something the fits you, and JOIN. This will wind up being a big list, but what the heck. I just want to impress it upon you that there are people out there.

Get out there!:
African-American? Suggestions include Urban League on Park st. always doin' something and R&B n Jazz at "R Place" on Park, Ever go to MeetUp.com? Try the Energize Activities group on there. It has 825 members. I've gone to 2 events. It's a mix of newcomers and people who are a little too busy to cultivate friendships [I'm guessing]. Age range hovers in the 30's - 50's.
Madison Area Outdoor Meetup Group has 855 members and they go hiking, biking, whatever all the time. And just serach Meetup.com by keyword for your particular interest.

Sometimes it's easy to get to know people if you are just doing something together: People here are nuts for bicycling, ultimate frisbee, sailing, local food. To some degree: running, knitting. For long-distance biking, join the Bombay Bicycle Club. Want outdoors with a litte environmentalism? Try the Sierra Club's Outings [keyword John Muir Wisconsin Outings] or try a UW Hoofer Outing club event. Ultimate frisbee? Google it man.

Sailing? UW Hoofer's sailing has a pretty reasonable rate for classes etc. with access to a sail boat thrown in. Like food? Google the Madison Slow Food people. Knitting? If you're older, join the people at Lakeside Fibers. Younger hip knitter? Google a local "stich n *****". Running? I do believe there is a running club in town loosely affiliated with a shoe store and the UW. If you're political, have fun with Republicans/Progressives/Socialists...find your own rabid group. More of a social drinker/music type? Try the new Cocktails for a Cause which you can find on facebook. Biz type? Drop iin on a DMI-Downtown Madison Inc meeting or luncheon. Want to learn how to be a good speaker? Check out a toastmasters meeting. We have about 15 chapters here.

Want to drink with computer geeks? Try the High Tech Happy Hour. Or if you're a greenie, go for Green Drinks. Gardener? Olbrich Gardens & Troy Gardens could use some volunteer help I am sure.
And yes, there is the old stand-by of church. Even if you are non-religious, I would still urge you to check out the West side Unitarian church which is not only huge and beautiful, it has just a gazillion classes, groups, activities...
So that's plenty. Try to enjoy this lovely summer new Madisonians.

[BrewCity'Burbs]

Only BORING ppl get bored.

[jaybrn5]

I think you are crazy to call Madison boring. The reason I love Madison is because there is always stuff going on or something to do for a town of this size. Kites on Ice, Taste of Madison, Vilas Zoo, Boulders Rock Climbing, tons of state parks and trails to walk and hike. Downtown always has stuff going on from the kohl center to the union. Still bored? The dells is a simple hour drive north. I think your problem is a lack of people and not a lack of things to do who wants to go the zoo alone?

[littlequeenie]

Originally Posted by GotORGANICMilk

Hey there. Yeah-Madison, WI is a tiny town in comparison to those metro areas. So its positives are just different. After being here for a couple years, my best advice is for you - if you are GOING TO REALLY TRY - is to get out there and try some groups, find something the fits you, and JOIN. This will wind up being a big list, but what the heck. I just want to impress it upon you that there are people out there.

Thanks for all the great ideas! If I do end up moving to Madison - waiting for a reply after 2 interviews - I will be moving alone - with my 3 cats!
I expect it will be a huge adjustment with the new job, etc, but your ideas are very welcome!