Is Maine racially tolerant? (Camden: live, restaurant, moving to) - (ME) - Page 3 - City-Data Forum

tcrackly · 07-06-2010, 06:32 AM

I've lived in Maine for 27 years now. I've had dealings with Maine thru relatives since I was a kid. As an African-American I can say that Maine is a microcosm of any other part of the U.S. with the additional key factor that Mainers are by and large blue-collar people with rural roots. Their ties are to the land and tradition which can make them aloof or hostile to people they perceive as a threat. I have found more Mainers to be supportive than I ever did in my hometown of Boston because mainers are not scarred by the racial politics of recent years. The contemporary ills of drugs, gangbanging, crime , and racial intolerance are alive and well in Maine but they cross color and racial lines. Much of any racism you encounter in Maine is fueled by ignorance and isolation and is quickly dispelled over time and experience.

Mainers need to accept that the world is shrinking in space and many more unfamiliar human beings will be coming to Maine to live, work, and raise families. Newcomers need to learn that Maine has thrived on periods of boom and hardship, mostly generated by natural causes and availability of natural resources. Mainers cling to their cultural traditions with tooth and nail, but I have always found them generously willing to share them.

Keep an open mind, OP, raise your kids on love and integrity, and breath the fresh air of Maine!

amcgrrl · 06-29-2013, 07:40 PM

I stayed at a Bed & Breakfast in Maine in 1999. The B&B was gorgeous, huge rooms, best crepes I've ever had from Austrian owner and the comforters were 12" thick full of down. I am Asian-American and my husband has Mediterranean skin tone; most Mainers are very fair-skinned with light brown hair. We stood out like sore thumbs. I was a little shocked too by their large size - it didn't seem to bother anyone to be over 200, even 300 pounds. But that's a different story. I did the usual sightseeing, thoroughly enjoying the rural environment and looking upon it with great interest/curiosity, having been in NYC all my life. The only Asian faces were children (presumably adopted) with Caucasian parents. These parents looked at me with an almost-fear and would quickly shuffle their children away. I thought their behavior was quite puzzling. My husband & I followed the restaurant recommendations posted in commercial places and one of the restaurants tried to turn us away. When I asked for a table for two, I was told it would be a 45-min. wait. When I said I'd wait in the bar, the heavy-set, fair-skinned, blue-eyed waitress had a distinct look of annoyance (anger?) before she disappeared into the back room for 5-10 minutes. Then another gentleman came the front of the restaurant to lead us to the bar. As I walked to the bar, I COULD SEE THAT HALF THE RESTAURANT WAS EMPTY and all eyes were staring at me and my husband, but mostly at me. Even when I looked away, I could tell people were staring at me. After a 5-10 minute wait at the bar, we were seated. It was the most uncomfortable meal I've ever had. Later that night, I started imagining myself being stuck alone in Maine with my car broken down, no way to communicate to my family and being locked up with no one to defend me. I am born to immigrant parents, so it's not like they could just work the system and get me out. Long story short, my experience of Maine is that it's horribly racist. It was clear to me that the "White, fat waitress" (sorry, I feel like being mean) had such pride in her (racial) position in this country that when she looked at me, she saw someone who belonged to charity (beneath her), not someone she should be sucking up to earn her bread. She did not want to serve me, so she tried to get rid of me. Even though I miss that B&B and longed to go back, I could never step foot in Maine ever again, esp. not Fryeburg, because of my racist experience there.

mainebrokerman · 06-29-2013, 08:29 PM

i cant believe this,,, we've had trolls in the past,,hit and run on crap like this before

Submariner · 06-29-2013, 10:07 PM

amcgrrl -
Your story is from 1999. You did not say where in Maine. You mention do how many Mainers were over-weight and the 'rural environment'. I find that odd. Assuming you went to a rural region of Maine, then for over-weight to be your predominate observation seems odd to me.

I am not from Maine. When I first came to Maine there were things that stood out.
#1 few females wear war-paint,
#2 men commonly wear beards,
#3 high heels, fake nails and mini-skirts are not as common as boots and jeans.
#4 obvious displays of fake wealth are rarely seen here.
#5 wealth caste and discrimination is not as obvious.

Then you mentioned a B&B; so I am thinking that clearly you were in a tourist region, and not a rural region.

Maine's tourism industry is more predominately urban rather than rural. Economic flow draws people, people in dense concentration forms urban. The tiny coastal urban communities of Southern Maine do not well represent the majority of Maine. I see those areas on the map, I drive past them at 10% above the speed limit.

From my observations of Maine, your story does not seem believable.

May God bless you.

maineguy8888 · 06-29-2013, 11:47 PM

Welcome to the boards.

namder1 · 06-30-2013, 04:50 AM

To put it bluntly.........I think AMC's story is BS!

Maine Writer · 06-30-2013, 05:02 AM

Pot, meet Kettle.

Quote:

Originally Posted by amcgrrl

I stayed at a Bed & Breakfast in Maine in 1999. The B&B was gorgeous, huge rooms, best crepes I've ever had from Austrian owner and the comforters were 12" thick full of down. I am Asian-American and my husband has Mediterranean skin tone; most Mainers are very fair-skinned with light brown hair. We stood out like sore thumbs. I was a little shocked too by their large size - it didn't seem to bother anyone to be over 200, even 300 pounds. But that's a different story. I did the usual sightseeing, thoroughly enjoying the rural environment and looking upon it with great interest/curiosity, having been in NYC all my life. The only Asian faces were children (presumably adopted) with Caucasian parents. These parents looked at me with an almost-fear and would quickly shuffle their children away. I thought their behavior was quite puzzling. My husband & I followed the restaurant recommendations posted in commercial places and one of the restaurants tried to turn us away. When I asked for a table for two, I was told it would be a 45-min. wait. When I said I'd wait in the bar, the heavy-set, fair-skinned, blue-eyed waitress had a distinct look of annoyance (anger?) before she disappeared into the back room for 5-10 minutes. Then another gentleman came the front of the restaurant to lead us to the bar. As I walked to the bar, I COULD SEE THAT HALF THE RESTAURANT WAS EMPTY and all eyes were staring at me and my husband, but mostly at me. Even when I looked away, I could tell people were staring at me. After a 5-10 minute wait at the bar, we were seated. It was the most uncomfortable meal I've ever had. Later that night, I started imagining myself being stuck alone in Maine with my car broken down, no way to communicate to my family and being locked up with no one to defend me. I am born to immigrant parents, so it's not like they could just work the system and get me out. Long story short, my experience of Maine is that it's horribly racist. It was clear to me that the "White, fat waitress" (sorry, I feel like being mean) had such pride in her (racial) position in this country that when she looked at me, she saw someone who belonged to charity (beneath her), not someone she should be sucking up to earn her bread. She did not want to serve me, so she tried to get rid of me. Even though I miss that B&B and longed to go back, I could never step foot in Maine ever again, esp. not Fryeburg, because of my racist experience there.

Oleg Bach · 06-30-2013, 05:09 AM

Never had a lot of money - but raised four children. There was one rule regarding my family...That we would never life in a place where the human and natural environment was degraded - no matter what. I always managed to secure a place that was beautiful. A place that was not a "project" - a place where my kids would be safe from the undue influence of evil and stupidity. Whether it was a few acres of land just out side the city...Or an old estate that was in time up for development - I saw opportunity and took it. We moved every 7 years...we never stepped down - but stepped up with every move- money or no money. I had a wonderful childhood close to nature - and I gave the same to my kids...Now they are grown and we all live in the core of a city...BUT their developing years that counted took place in beauty............Go for it...it's not about money- it's about making an effort and not being afraid to have class.

Oleg Bach · 06-30-2013, 05:14 AM

Never ask the question if an area is racially tolerant. As yourself the question - can you tolerate them? It's up to you to hold your head up high and tolerate those that might be irritating...besides...Your job is not to hide but to win the hearts of your neighbors - People are good everywhere ...and if you are good- you will be excepted..Do not practice defeatism. The question whether a particular state is tolerant is absurd. All states are the same. It is about your state of mind. Love people...not all will love you back but most will.

Oleg Bach · 06-30-2013, 06:12 AM

Here in Toronto from what I see...is that our small black population is mostly ghettoized..on the poorer end. Young black men usually avoid the few gentrified blocks of my hood..They just feel uncomfortable because some of them have an inferiority complex. BUT there are about 8 black guys I know who prefer to mix in with "white" society. The are good and smart people who like people in general. They do not want to be part of the "black community" - They find life better being part of the white norm.

It might have something to do with their level of awareness. These black men I speak of are all bright people...They do not want to be submerged or isolated with dumb white or black people. There is no such thing as racial equality or any real equality what so ever..If you are capable of and want a more civilized life...no one is going to stop you...Firstly- forget you are black. You don't NEED to be classified.