Do folks get offended when..... (Cooper: hotel, restaurant, legal)

[Submariner]

I use 'sir' and 'maam' often out of habit. 'Maam' to civilian ladies and 'sir' to all men and 'sir' to female officers [Naval tradition].

I have found two ladies in Maine who call me 'honey', they work in different businesses 40 miles apart. When I first met the second one I mistook her for the first one. Conversation revealed that these two ladies are twins. So I had assumed that the use of 'honey' was taught in their household. Otherwise I have not heard 'honey' used much on Maine.

[AliceT]

Well, that depends on who you call Sir or Ma'am. Some very petite men have been mistaken for women and some very broad shouldered women have been mistaken for Sir by those who are not familiar. I can't tell you the number of times I have been mistaken for a boy or a man and it never ends.

It hurts.

I was even called Sir when I was wearing makeup and a skirt. I say drop the gender specifics and keep it generic with honey and dear.

[MemereLadyDi]

I certainly prefer being called "Ma'am" over being called "you guys" by anyone other than another couple in my inner circle, as in "Can you guys come over Saturday night for suppah, and play 63 afta?'

[Zarathu]

Originally Posted by MemereLadyDi

.....and play 63 afta?'

What is "63"?

[MemereLadyDi]

And another thing, anyone one with a badge and a gun, or a black robe, is Sir or Ma'am, if only for self preservation.

[Zarathu]

Originally Posted by forest beekeeper

I use 'sir' and 'maam' often out of habit. 'Maam' to civilian ladies and 'sir' to all men and 'sir' to female officers [Naval tradition].

About 8 years ago I had the dubious pleasure of being in an elementary building that was being completely renovated while the children were in it. The place was crawling with workmen, which was a real problem in regards to safety issues since it took place only 2 years after 9-11.

But a side issue that was interesting was that whenever the ladies were around they were respectful, but not especially deferent. When I showed up, the guys would snap almost to attention, stop talking among themselves, and step out of my way and call me SIR. Well, My family has been in education at various levels from the line level with me up to Assistant Secretary of Education in PA. I have never ever ever gone into work when school is in session when I've not worn a coat and tie.

Apparently for the contstruction workers, and this is no surprise to those of who who do these noble jobs, the only time "Suits" show up on the site is when something is wrong or somebody is going to get fired. Even though they all knew(and I told them) that I wasn't even the principal, just the school counselor, their on-the-job training was so strong that you always responded and acted only in ONE WAY when you encountered a "SUIT" on the job.

Z

[RNLUV2TRVL]

I can remember the first time I was addressed as Maam and believe me I have to say....be careful with what age you say that to a woman......I instantly was made to feel like I had gone from being young to old......I was probably 35 at the time.

[spose]

Originally Posted by Zarathu

What is "63"?

"63" is a card game, and it was one of my favorites. Maximum bid is 63, hence the name. The downside for me is that the game takes 4 people, no more, no less.
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The first time I heard Maam and Sir was here in Florida. Besides making me feel old at the time, it seemed to me that the kids using these "polite" terms had license to raise hell and do whatever they wanted...as long as they said Maam or Sir. I was not impressed!

[Flatneck_Woman]

Hey CT,

I am a "50+" woman and am always pleasantly surprised when someone, especially a younger man, calls me "ma'm". To me, it is a sign of respect and courtesy. This is something that I have always appreciated about Southerners, their politeness. Now if anyone calls me "dear" I see red and will probably tell them that I am not that old, yet...keep being your polite self, kudos!

[lawmom]

When I lived in NM this past year, everyone said "ma'am" and "sir" -- it was very common.

I heard "honey" and "dear" a lot the year prior when we lived in the Berkshires. I think it's condescending and I hate it, but I do understand that the people saying it for most part don't mean it that way. I should clarify: being called "dear" by a 20 year old fast food worker is condescending to me. It's just a pet peeve.