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Old 01-23-2008, 02:29 PM
 
Location: WV and Eastport Maine
1,325 posts, read 2,761,422 times
Reputation: 1394

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If your local Dairy Bar is closed from September through May, you may live in Maine .

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live
in Maine .

If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of Portland for the Weekend, you may live in Maine .

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Maine.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Maine .

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Maine .

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Maine .

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Maine .

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Maine .

If the speed limit on Rt. 9 is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Maine .

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Maine .

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, mud season and road construction, you may live in Maine .

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Maine .

If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you may live in Maine .
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Old 01-23-2008, 02:39 PM
 
Location: Florida&Eastport
612 posts, read 1,141,990 times
Reputation: 586
You Know You're in Maine:

If you own more than four pair of gloves.

If, in March your vehicle is 43% mud.

If you leave your keys in your car and the next morning your car is still there.

If you're on the shoulder of the highway with your hood up and somebody stops to help you.

If your central heating system is fueled by large logs.

If you see the stars at night.

If you got a set of new snow tires for Valentines Day.

If the term "chill factor" is part of your daily vocabulary.

If you put the car heater on your list of best friends.

If you pawned a snow blower instead of a set of golf clubs.

If dressing up means wearing a tie with your flannel shirt.

If you don't use your blinker because everyone already knows where you're going.
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Old 01-23-2008, 06:27 PM
 
Location: Central Maine
121 posts, read 312,828 times
Reputation: 116
I took the keys out of my truck one night......

took me half an hour to find them the next morning.
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Old 01-24-2008, 07:23 AM
 
Location: Maine
5,054 posts, read 11,694,889 times
Reputation: 1865
Default Comments made in the year 1955!

That's only 52 years ago!



"I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going
to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20.00."

"Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before
$2, 000.00 will only buy a used one."

"If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack
is ridiculous.

"Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail
a letter?"

"If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire
outside help at the store."

"When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the
garage."

"Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to
stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long
as the girls."

"I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let
Clark Gable get by with saying DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND, it seems every new movie has either HELL of DAMN in it."

"I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man
on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they
call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas."

"Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be
making more than the President."

"I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be
electric. They are even making electric typewriters now."

"It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet."

"It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to
watch their kids so they can both work."

"Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more, those Hollywood stars seem to be
getting divorced at the drop of a hat."

"I'm afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of
foreign business."

"Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress."

"The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously
doubt they will ever catch on."

"There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend, it
costs nearly $15.00 a night to stay in a hotel."

"No one can afford to be sick anymore, at $35.00 a day in the hospital it's
too rich for my blood."

"If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it."
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Old 01-24-2008, 09:19 AM
 
Location: Maine
7,727 posts, read 11,630,675 times
Reputation: 8339
Great stuff El!!!
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Old 01-24-2008, 05:40 PM
 
Location: Northern Maine
10,264 posts, read 16,730,091 times
Reputation: 10924
As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.

The trucker lowers the window, and she says 'Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load.'

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door.

Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, 'Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!'

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.

At the third red light, the same thing happens again.

All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window. Again she says 'Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!'

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light.

When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde.

He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says...

'Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Maine, and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!'
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Old 01-24-2008, 05:46 PM
 
Location: Florida&Eastport
612 posts, read 1,141,990 times
Reputation: 586
Computer Terms for Aroostook County (Northern Maine)

1. Log on - Make the wood stove hotter
2. Log off - Don't add more wood
3. Monitor - Keep an eye on the wood stove
4. Download - Getting the firewood off the truck
5. Floppy disk - What you get from downloading too much firewood
6. Ram - The thing that splits the firewood
7. Hard Drive - Getting home in the winter

Okay...that's enough!!!
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Old 01-24-2008, 06:27 PM
 
253 posts, read 1,008,515 times
Reputation: 127
There was a gentleman from Maine who worked hard his whole life and was totally faithful to his wife his entire life.
He knew he would find his reward in heaven when he came up to the "Pearly Gates", and it would all be worth the sacrifices he made for his wife and family.
The day came when he met Peter at the "Pearly Gates"! Peter looked over his actions while on Earth, and said, you sacrificed for your family and worked long hours to give your wife and family every comfort. Most important of all you were never unfaithful to your wife. You have earned a Mercedes to drive in heaven, because You never were unfaithful to your wife.
He couldn't believe he would finally drive a Mercedes, but Peter explained that here in heaven, the better wheels you have, show everyone what a faithful person you were to your spouse.

3 weeks later, Peter saw the gentlman from Maine in his Mercedes crying uncontrollably. He stopped and calmed him down finally and asked, what was wrong, why were you crying????
The Gentleman from Maine said, I JUST SAW MY WIFE GO BY ON A SKATEBOARD!
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Old 01-24-2008, 06:30 PM
 
Location: Florida&Eastport
612 posts, read 1,141,990 times
Reputation: 586
God has a sense of humor!!
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Old 01-24-2008, 06:51 PM
 
Location: Log "cabin" west of Bangor
6,953 posts, read 7,989,895 times
Reputation: 15099
Budreau and Tibodeaux liked dere vacation in Maine so much, dat dey decided to come from Baton Rouge to do some ice fishin' on Eagle Lake. On da way, dey stop at de general store an' get a pick-axe so's dey can make a hole in de ice.

Well, about tree or two hours later, dey's back at de general store an' dey buy two more pick-axe. A few hours more, an' dey's back at de general store an' dey buy every pick-axe dey got.

De storekeep, him ask "Hey, you catchin' a lot o' fish?"

An ole Budreau, him say "Mais no, we ain't even got de boat in de water yet!"
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