Quote:
Originally Posted by Northern Maine Land Man
Good to hear from you, Zymer. I just did another one like yours.
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Thanks, I still have no 'net access from the house, not even a regular phone. Called TW a few times (construction dept.) but can never get a real person to answer, I may just run a cable out to the street myself and tell them to hook it up at the pole.
I was going to hijack some wi-fi but the laptop is on the fritz and in about a hundred pieces, I'm amazed that I had to take so much of it apart just to replace the CD drive. Going to be LOTS of fun trying to get it back together.
Another short sale? I'm still wondering if the previous owners of mine understand the tax situation they will be facing this year. I'm guessing not.
And to stay on-topic and responsive to the original line of this thread...
Every time one moves from [somewhere] to [somewhere else] there will be a period of adjustment. People may be different in some ways, but in other ways they are the same (generally speaking).
When moving to a new area one must learn to "fit in", in order to be accepted. As Forest has very aptly pointed out, there are a number of things that one can do to hasten this process. Sure, some people may say "Why should I have to learn to 'fit in'? People should just accept me the way I am."
If we lived in a perfect, logical world that might be possible, but we don't. Logic plays second fiddle to emotion, and emotional response in human behavior is deep-seated, with its roots going far back to prehistoric times long before "logic" was conceived, when even "language" was little more than grunts and gestures.
Two factors are at work here, both related to the "survival instinct". The first is the need for acceptance, to be part of the "group", the principal of "safety in numbers" where the members of the group combine their efforst to defend themselves against danger.
The second factor, closely related to the first, is that "different" meant "dangerous". Before laws (and logic) were established, taking what you wanted/needed to survive, without thought of the rights of others to retain what they might have worked to obtain was an accepted reality of life. "Outsiders" would frequently raid other groups to gain resources. As a basic matter of survival, an outsider, anyone who was "different" was automatically an enemy. Even if an "outsider" was not openly hostile, his presence could put a strain on the resources available to a group.
Despite the passage of many millenia, and the veneer of "civilization", this [perhaps genetic] trait remains with us. "Logic" has not (perhaps
cannot) overcome this emotional response. The Age of Reason is still in its infancy, illogical beliefs still pervade society as a whole. If logic and rationality have not yet supplanted the less deeply ingrained superstitious fantasies that threaten to utterly destroy our society (with warring factions armed with weapons of horrendous destructive power) then there is little reason to think that they will easily overcome an instinctive emotional response that predates self-awareness.
It therefore falls to the individual, who wishes to integrate with an already established "group", to model his/her behavior in a manner which is non-threatening to the group and to show that he/she has something of value to offer them, rather than just walking in and saying "Here I am, you must all love me and be my friend."
Even if you had something of great value to offer, if it is presented in a manner that is perceived as threatening the group will run. Think of taking a loaf of bread to feed pigeons or seagulls- if you run into the flock screaming "I have food!" they will take flight. But, if you approach slowly, sit and scatter some crumbs and wait, they will come to you. With enough patience and the right offering, you may be able to convince a chickadee to land on your hand, or a chipmunk to sit on your knee.
In the Army, and in another occupation, I learned to become adept at "blending in", to integrate with and become influential within a group (even before I read "How To Win Friends And Influence People"). You may have opinions that differ from the group, and they are not necessarily "wrong", but if you offer those opinions without being asked, or presume to insist that other people accept them, they (and you) will likely be rejected.
One who wishes to integrate with a new group, be accepted by a new community, he must appear friendly, or at least, non-threatening. Be seen and be friendly, if you participated in some type of group or activity in your previous community then find a similar group and join it, it gives you something in common with them on which to build friendship and trust.
Expand on casual contacts, ask questions and listen to the answers, get the lay of the land and learn which way the wind blows. If you have a different opinion, keep it to yourself for the moment.
"Normal" is entirely subjective, what one person or group considers "normal" may be far different from someone else's idea. For instance, up until the 1990s there was a group of people who considered cannibalism to be "normal" (the Korowai tribe of Papua New Guinea).
Other people consider it "normal" to believe in one form of deity or another, and engage in killing those who do not share the same belief.
To find *your* version of "normal, you'll have to go out and look for it.
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hmmm
It's like this ...
