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Old 03-16-2011, 04:31 PM
 
Location: Central Maine
121 posts, read 311,576 times
Reputation: 116

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Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, but this week I got a call from the contractor, complaining his work had been completed a year ago and I had yet to pay for them. Boy oh boy, did we go around and around.



So, I proceeded to tell him just what his fast-talking sales guy had told me last year - namely, that in one year, the windows would pay for themselves.... There was silence on the other end of the line, so I just hung up. I have not heard anything back.
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Old 03-18-2011, 07:08 AM
 
Location: Anson,Maine
251 posts, read 184,424 times
Reputation: 50
A guy from a large city goes to rural maine to go hunting.
He enters the lodge where he will be staying and gets into deep conversation.After a while he feels comfortable and asks the crowd if anybody knows about poaching deer around here.
Clem says he just shoots em.
Darrel says he just skins em.
Earl says he just butchers em.
Sam says he usually fries em but he heard that the sheriff likes to make soup out of em and that is the closest to poaching he ever heard of.
Better ask the sheriff.
He is right behind you.
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Old 03-22-2011, 10:26 AM
 
Location: On a Slow-Sinking Granite Rock Up North
3,638 posts, read 5,724,874 times
Reputation: 2676
Default The Sunday School Teacher

The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, 'My Mommy looked back once while she was driving,' he announced triumphantly, 'and she turned into a telephone pole!'

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, 'If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?'

A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, 'I think I'd throw up.'
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Old 03-22-2011, 10:39 AM
 
Location: 3.5 sq mile island ant nest next to Canada
3,034 posts, read 5,391,135 times
Reputation: 2165
Augusta, GA

Orville Smith, a store manager for Best Buy in Augusta, Georgia, told police he observed a male customer on surveillance cameras putting a laptop computer under his jacket... When confronted the man became irate, knocked down an employee, drew a knife and ran for the door.

Outside on the sidewalk were four Marines collecting toys for the "Toys for Tots" program. Smith said the Marines stopped the man, but he stabbed one of the Marines, Cpl. Duggan, in the back, the injury did not appear to be severe.

After Police and an ambulance arrived at the scene Cpl. Duggan was transported for treatment. The subject was also transported to the local hospital with two broken arms, a broken ankle, a broken leg, several missing teeth, possible broken ribs, multiple contusions, assorted lacerations, a broken nose and a broken jaw... injuries he sustained when he slipped and fell off of the curb after stabbing the Marine.
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Old 03-22-2011, 03:07 PM
 
Location: Sacramento, CA/Dover-Foxcroft, ME
1,815 posts, read 3,152,627 times
Reputation: 2879
Default Why men prefer guns over women

The top 10 reasons why men prefer guns over women:


#10 - You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

#9 - You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

#8 - If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7 - Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

#6 - Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

#5 - A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

#4 - Guns function normally every day of the month.

#3 - A gun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

#2 - A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.


And the number one reason why men prefer guns over women.....



#1 - You can buy a silencer for a gun

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Old 03-30-2011, 08:17 PM
 
Location: On a Slow-Sinking Granite Rock Up North
3,638 posts, read 5,724,874 times
Reputation: 2676
Default Maine's New Department Of Labor Wall Mural

Lol...
Attached Thumbnails
Jokes- Keep em clean please-wall-mural.jpg  
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Old 03-31-2011, 04:10 AM
 
Location: 3.5 sq mile island ant nest next to Canada
3,034 posts, read 5,391,135 times
Reputation: 2165
Quote:
Originally Posted by reloop View Post
Lol...
How about the Mallside guy? Big, bigger, to how big you need?!?!?!?!
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Old 03-31-2011, 04:56 AM
 
Location: Teton Valley Idaho
7,395 posts, read 12,287,478 times
Reputation: 5432
A NY Yankees, NY Mets, and Red Sox fan are climbing a mountain, and arguing about who loves his team more. The Mets fan insists he is the most loyal. ''This is for the Mets'', he yells, and jumps off the mountain. Not to be outdone, the Red Sox fan is next to profess his love for his team. He yells "This is for the Red Sox!!!" and pushed the Yankee fan off the mountain.
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Old 03-31-2011, 05:00 AM
 
Location: 3.5 sq mile island ant nest next to Canada
3,034 posts, read 5,391,135 times
Reputation: 2165
Quote:
Originally Posted by mollysmiles View Post
A NY Yankees, NY Mets, and Red Sox fan are climbing a mountain, and arguing about who loves his team more. The Mets fan insists he is the most loyal. ''This is for the Mets'', he yells, and jumps off the mountain. Not to be outdone, the Red Sox fan is next to profess his love for his team. He yells "This is for the Red Sox!!!" and pushed the Yankee fan off the mountain.

See; now that's just mean.
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Old 03-31-2011, 05:04 AM
 
Location: Teton Valley Idaho
7,395 posts, read 12,287,478 times
Reputation: 5432
LOL, my friend Lori said the same thing!
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