When home isn't home anymore... (New Bedford, Bedford: apartment, crime, how much)

[BattyGirl]

I have been living away from New Bedford for 7 and 1/2 years, and in that time I have only been back twice for 4 weeks each time. This is my third time back which is a permanent move. The whole time I was away I was homesick for NB, couldn't wait for the day when I could be back for good.

Though now that I am back, I wonder what the appeal was all those years I was away. Before I left I wasn't afraid to walk out in broad daylight by myself (I'm female), catch a bus, or cab, go to the store, etc, but now all I hear is horror stories about murders, gangs, etc! I know things were bad when I was here the first time but it seems like NB has hit an all time low.

I really am concerned I made a mistake moving back here. To make matters worse I have just rented a place on , and am now being told horror stories about that area, pertically that street!

Can anyone vouch for NB, and st? As I've been away so long, I don't know what to believe.

[elnene2k]

That's odd given the fact that numbers in crime have decreased quite a bit in a 10 year comparison...My wife and I will be there this weekend to look at houses for the first time. She has been there and loves it. I have not. I guess it depends on where you live...Maybe you now live in a worse off area now than the area you grew up in? lrfox has more insight on NB that many do on these forums...

[miu]

Where are your old friends of 7-1/2 years ago? What part of New Bedford are they living in? Perhaps once you get to know your neighbors and make new friends, you will feel more comfortable and happy with your move. Maybe the cold winter weather is making you feel more isolated.

[Beachcomber4]

I can't tell you about NB in particular but I can tell you something about the psychology of "going back home."
1. Memories are usually extreme in one direction or the other...you can make something WONDERFUL or HORRIBLE in your mind and believe it.
2. Places change
3. Our tolerance levels change-you live in the middle of a place like NB you become desensitized to the negative, move away to a different area where what is on the news everyday about NB is a rare situation and you start to change your level of tolerance and have a different idea of what is "normal".
4. Perception changes- something bad happened 7 years ago, you might have known who was involved or had inside knowledge that a situation wasn't random. People on the outside saw an area as "bad" but those living in it saw it differently.
5. Maturity- as we get older we understand our mortality. As a teen or 20 something we see things differently than we do as we get older and we realize we are not invincible. We heed warnings and do not take needless risks.

Good luck!

[lrfox]

The other posters are correct on how nostalgia can impact your judgement. It's the same reason people break up and get back together when they probably shouldn't. It's easy to forget all of the "bad" with time.

New Bedford has improved in many areas overall in the past ten years. However, it's still a city of nearly 100,000 people. It has good neighborhoods and bad neighborhoods.

While isn't the worst neighborhood, it's not a great one either. My suggestion, if you want to make New Bedford work, is to look closer to downtown. The West End around Buttonwood Park(just avoid the area right around United Front Homes), County St. Historic District, Clasky Common, Far North End (Lunds Corner and even further north), and the Southern end of the Rodney French area (South of Hazelwood Park) are all far better choices. North Front Street in the North End (where you are) is one of the most dangerous places in the city. If a dangerous crime or murder does occur, often times it's right over there. No matter where you are on Collette St., you're no more than a few blocks away from N.Front.

Where New Bedford has really gotten better is downtown. It's probably quite a bit different than it was last time you were there. Moving closer to that area may help (or the changes, although positive, could make it feel less like home).

But again, maybe while you were away, your nostalgia led you to forget (or downplay) the things you didn't care for about NB. I lived in a number of places outside of NB and they helped me to realize just how much I actually like it there. Still, I did often "forget" that there are plenty of negatives. Perhaps the negatives just outweigh the positives for you. Still, getting out of your current neighborhood could help a LOT.

[seeriously]

Originally Posted by Beachcomber4

I can't tell you about NB in particular but I can tell you something about the psychology of "going back home."
1. Memories are usually extreme in one direction or the other...you can make something WONDERFUL or HORRIBLE in your mind and believe it.
2. Places change
3. Our tolerance levels change-you live in the middle of a place like NB you become desensitized to the negative, move away to a different area where what is on the news everyday about NB is a rare situation and you start to change your level of tolerance and have a different idea of what is "normal".
4. Perception changes- something bad happened 7 years ago, you might have known who was involved or had inside knowledge that a situation wasn't random. People on the outside saw an area as "bad" but those living in it saw it differently.
5. Maturity- as we get older we understand our mortality. As a teen or 20 something we see things differently than we do as we get older and we realize we are not invincible. We heed warnings and do not take needless risks.

Good luck!

Brilliant! I thought I could add to this but I cannot. Beachcomber says it all too well.

[BattyGirl]

Thank you all for the replies.

miu, I lost touch with a lot of my friends I had growing up. The ones I have kept in touch with are the ones telling me these things, as well as family members. Most of them live in the north end. I agree the weather doesn't help.

Beachcomber4, I agree. Home seems like a memory rather than an actual place now...

lrfox, unfortunately we have already rented the apartment on . So far we haven't seen anything bad. Of course we haven't totally moved in yet so maybe that's why. My friend says wait until summer it will be worse, which worries me.

I think I will have to take one day at a time and make sure we have money behind us in case we need to move fast.

[LiveLoveLaugh]

I want to add 1 more thing....YES places change but people change too!