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Newbie here, like brand new, first post ever. I've searched the forum often though, so I'm a little familiar, and I know how contentious things can get, so bring your most positive energy, please, to this thread.
I realize there are many similar threads (believe me, I've read them all ad-nauseum) but none quite touch on exactly my issue, and those that come close are years old, and I'm sure the dynamics have changed much in that time.
So, my family of 5 (mom, dad, 3 sons) is moving to the Boston area and I'm in desperate need of some help in finding the right place to settle.
Like most people on here, we have a laundry list of what our ideal home/neighborhood would be:
- Desiring a somewhat large home (~ 4000 to 5000 sq ft) with large lot size (at least an acre) in an upper-middle class area
- Can comfortably spend up to $1.5M on house, but would love to stay around $1M and pocket the rest !
- We'd love a newer home (built in the last 15 years) but would consider an updated older home if it has an open floor plan
- Looking for suburban aesthetics. Absolutely not interested in urban housing styles/neighborhoods, but not too rural either.
- Would like neighborhood to be "built-up". Though I hesitate to use the word gentrified, I'm actually okay with that concept and realize some people will interpret my desires as such. We'd like nearby shopping, restaurants, and amenities to be well developed and modernized, but they need not be extremely close to our home, just not more than about a 10 minute drive or so.
- Would love lots of parks nearby for the kids, but one or two great ones would be okay.
- School performance will be considered but not a deal-breaker by any means, though school safety will be paramount. My kids are elementary school aged, 5 and 7 (and a toddler) but all are super advanced like 2-3 grade levels due to home-school supplementing, so we utilize school as more of a social education tool.
- Would like to be around a strong stay-at-home / work-at-home- mom population.
- Hubby's occupation will be all over the greater Boston area, so not interested in prioritizing the commutability. But for reference sake, he'll be HQ'd out of Dedham.
Unlike many people, though, we've had the pleasure of living all over this great nation ( 8 different cities across 7 different states, corner to corner and in between!) and we realize there is really no "perfect" house nor "perfect" town, so we're realistic that much of what we are looking for is a matter of perspective and that everyone's feedback will be in relative terms. No worries, though, since we don't usually sweat the small stuff!
What is not on my above list, but is of the UTMOST importance to us, is actually an intangible…and that's what I need your help with. It is really important to us to live around kind and considerate people. What suburb / neighborhood / area should we consider to find that? In which of the cities will find the people to be most kind? Not necessarily a false-friendliest or nosiness disguised as neighborliness, but truly KIND people? I'm a sunshiny kind of person: outgoing, genuinely considerate of others, neighborly. My family and I use "please", "thank-you", and "excuse-me" liberally. I'm always the type to offer help to a stranger, a smile to a passerby and some small talk in waiting room. Albeit, I'm also always cognizant of the personal space people desire and aim not to be overbearing or annoying of one's desire to be left alone. Social interaction is a delicate balance, one that I feel is sort of a "lost art". I feel that far too many people err on the side of being standoffish. But I digress, I just want to be around as many like-minded sunny, helpful, smiling people as possible. I want to know my neighbors, but not be hounded by them. I want least on a "wave and chat about the weather every now and then" relationship. I want a neighborhood where people are more interested in ensuring kids keep their innocence than toughening them up for "the real world". I'd like to know someone would hold a door for me when they see me coming from a distance, as I would for them. I'd like neighbors to not be rude or dismissive when I check on them after a big storm ('cause I'm gonna check…that's how I roll!)
Now it's no secret that Boston does not have a reputation for being friendly. Media and film give the people of Boston area what is probably an unfair depiction of being rude and bully-ish, and as far from kind as possible.. I know how reputations work and have lived in enough places to not put too much stock into that. (That new movie, The Heat, set in Boston with Sandra Bullock is freaking hilarious, though). Furthermore, my best girlfriend, was born and raised in Boston, and she is the sun-shiniest person I know besides myself! But even she says I'll be hard pressed to find it there. Still, the eternal optimist that I am, I come to you all asking because I'm sure it's not a matter of IF it exists, but WHERE.
Now.... I've deliberately left this part as an incidental side note, so please take it as such. We are a young, Black, non-immigrant family. I mention our non-immigrant status because I've heard Caribeans, Haitians, Cape Verdeans, Africans, etc . have a unique experience in the Boston area compared to American Blacks. I mention "young" because my husband and I been relatively wealthy for many years, even when we were younger, and past experiences have shown me that some people are suspicious of this phenomenon, perhaps due to a lack of exposure to people like us or preconceived notions of what a young Black couple should be capable of achieving. Either way, it's been a factor and sometimes continues to be. Though, hubby and I are both getting our first gray hairs, so that may taper off soon.
So why bring up the race thing at all? While we'd love to have all our needs met by a racially diverse area with a critical mass of other affluent Black families, we realize this is not likely. This is not Boston's issue alone, we've struggled to find it in other cities as well. Of course, it would be much more comfortable if our children were not the only Black kids in their respective grades or classes, but I have to say that has often been their reality and we've all led fulfilled, happy, community-connected lives despite a lack of diversity. I contend that this is because I've always sought diligently for that sunshiny element of humanity and a sense of community among kind people, who have generally gotten beyond the cultural differences, if not the racial ones. I know this can be our reality in Boston. I'd be lying, though, if I said Boston's racial history and present reputation for racial-climate did not give me pause, because it's reputation is like no other that I've experienced. It's not any more desirable to live in a predominantly Black area as it is a predominantly White one for us, furthermore, though more ideal, it is not necessary that we live in an area that is 50/50 Black to White, or even 20/80 or even 5/95. I'm aware that many of the affluent suburbs of Boston are up to 97% white or more, that Asians typically make up most of the 3% non-White population, and that the Black population is usually less than 1%. We're not completely discouraged or put-off by that, I just need a little reassurance that my children won't be mistaken by neighbors as "trespassing", "loitering", or "not belonging" to the own area. That they won't be disrespected with attitudes that imply they should "know their place" as if "their place" is in some inferior position beneath their White counterparts. I say this not to assume Boston suburbs will be rife with this, but because we've experienced it before, first-hand, and it's a real possibility. (Side note: no controversy intended, but the harsh reality is that almost every mom of a Black son in the nation feels their child could be the next Trayvon Martin, even if they are upper middle class like my family, or super wealthy, like many of my Black colleagues, whether they are kind-hearted and/or superb parents with the most wonderful children. We all feel very vulnerable right now. Even my White friends with Black sons carry this vulnerability right now.) I'm confident that our communities will grow stronger but in the meantime, I need to give my little Black boys a sense of security that they'll not only be safe but welcomed and embraced, and I need it for myself. I need my neighbors to want to get to know my wonderful, intelligent, respectful, sweet-souled little guys, so that when they are seen walking around the neighborhood they'll get a "hello" instead of suspicion. Hey, for me the solution to that is to have those neighbors that I would otherwise not know over for a BBQ so I can actually introduce them to my sons, and so we can all get to know each other over a glass of wine! But that will be a little easier to accomplish if our neighbors are outgoing, sunny, people when I extend that invitation.
So, I've had my eye on Sharon because the city's website and each of the schools and district websites have verbiage about inclusion, respect, caring and KINDNESS! Yay! seems like my kinda place. I'm also looking into Lexington, having read good accounts of neighborliness. I'm interested in knowing more about Sudbury as well, can't seem to get a feel for how rural or non-rural it is, but it seems pleasant. Please, though, bring to my attention any hidden gems I may not have heard of, but please no urban areas. One more thing. We came up to Newton on the 4th of July, just to get a feel for the community. We found no-one to be rude at all. A very few people were standoffish, but most were quite polite to me as I tried to strike up conversation. Unfortunately, only one interaction was what I'd consider to be outgoing. But at a 4th of July celebration you can never really sure who is from that area and who is visiting. Moreover, the limited area that we saw there was just architecturally to urban for us. I'm assuming it's not like that throughout.
Okay, sorry to have been so wordy, but I've put it all out there, and please help out if you can. Thanks in advance!
What is not on my above list, but is of the UTMOST importance to us, is actually an intangible…and that's what I need your help with. It is really important to us to live around kind and considerate people. What suburb / neighborhood / area should we consider to find that? In which of the cities will find the people to be most kind? Not necessarily a false-friendliest or nosiness disguised as neighborliness, but truly KIND people? I'm a sunshiny kind of person: outgoing, genuinely considerate of others, neighborly. My family and I use "please", "thank-you", and "excuse-me" liberally. I'm always the type to offer help to a stranger, a smile to a passerby and some small talk in waiting room. Albeit, I'm also always cognizant of the personal space people desire and aim not to be overbearing or annoying of one's desire to be left alone. Social interaction is a delicate balance, one that I feel is sort of a "lost art". I feel that far too many people err on the side of being standoffish. But I digress, I just want to be around as many like-minded sunny, helpful, smiling people as possible. I want to know my neighbors, but not be hounded by them. I want least on a "wave and chat about the weather every now and then" relationship. I want a neighborhood where people are more interested in ensuring kids keep their innocence than toughening them up for "the real world". I'd like to know someone would hold a door for me when they see me coming from a distance, as I would for them. I'd like neighbors to not be rude or dismissive when I check on them after a big storm ('cause I'm gonna check…that's how I roll!)
I'm gonna see if my neighbor wants to move out brb
I'm gonna see if my neighbor wants to move out brb
lol
To the OP: I think you guys would fit in Milton nicely, although you may need to spend close to your price limit to find what you are looking for. Search for threads on Milton.
To the OP: I think you guys would fit in Milton nicely, although you may need to spend close to your price limit to find what you are looking for. Search for threads on Milton.
Thanks! I've heard great things about Milton. Zillow searches have our "ideal" home pricing in the $2.5M-3M out there! I'm wondering: is the niceness-factor there worth considering a less ideal (smaller, older) home, in your opinion?
I live in Sudbury, and think you would find everything you're looking for here. I'm in the Bowker neighborhood, which I love, but you would find larger houses nearby in the Willis Hills neighborhood. I like the fact that Sudbury has plenty of rural charm (if you're a cyclist, runner, hiker, walker etc.) this is an ideal area, but also has shopping and restaurants nearby. The schools are very good, the neighbors are friendly, and there are lots of things for kids to do- check out the Sudbury Park and Rec. dept. for some ideas. The Fairbanks playground would be perfect for your toddler, and there are tons of rec activities nearby for you and for your kids.
I live in Sudbury, and think you would find everything you're looking for here. I'm in the Bowker neighborhood, which I love, but you would find larger houses nearby in the Willis Hills neighborhood. I like the fact that Sudbury has plenty of rural charm (if you're a cyclist, runner, hiker, walker etc.) this is an ideal area, but also has shopping and restaurants nearby. The schools are very good, the neighbors are friendly, and there are lots of things for kids to do- check out the Sudbury Park and Rec. dept. for some ideas. The Fairbanks playground would be perfect for your toddler, and there are tons of rec activities nearby for you and for your kids.
Sooooo glad to hear this! My very favorite house (per my Zillow search) was in Sudbury, though it's a bit outside of my price range. But I wasn't sure if there would be enough amenities and shopping there, it seems like it's just outside of the reach of some of those things, but maybe worth the distance for the rural charm. What is the town-center/downtown like? and taxes? Do the larger home sites deter neighbors from interacting?
I certainly hope that favorite house is still on the market by the time we're at the house-hunting stage, I'd totally try to talk my husband into getting it. But the good thing is there are lots of nice housing options in Sudbury!
Any more info you could give about the people, the area, anything would be great! Thanks.
Thanks! I've heard great things about Milton. Zillow searches have our "ideal" home pricing in the $2.5M-3M out there! I'm wondering: is the niceness-factor there worth considering a less ideal (smaller, older) home, in your opinion?
I think the big draw with Milton is its proximity to Boston. You will be hard pressed to find so much green space anywhere else inside 128. With Milton you are also paying for location and prestige. You mention you are a stay at home mom. As your kids get older it will be nice to to be near Boston to take them to see all the educational/cultural sites that the city has to offer.
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! 
I'm also looking into Lexington, having read good accounts of neighborliness. I'm interested in knowing more about Sudbury as well, can't seem to get a feel for how rural or non-rural it is, but it seems pleasant. Please, though, bring to my attention any hidden gems I may not have heard of, but please no urban areas. One more thing. We came up to Newton on the 4th of July, just to get a feel for the community. We found no-one to be rude at all. A very few people were standoffish, but most were quite polite to me as I tried to strike up conversation. Unfortunately, only one interaction was what I'd consider to be outgoing. But at a 4th of July celebration you can never really sure who is from that area and who is visiting. Moreover, the limited area that we saw there was just architecturally to urban for us. I'm assuming it's not like that throughout.
LOL!
